A very fine line... (Patreon)

So, I've talked about this before. But when it comes to certain types of garments, I find myself in impossible situations. Now, usually, I opt for T-shirts and jeans (that's about 95% of my day-to-day wear, and I'm a T-shirt junkie, so it works), but every now and then, it's nice to feel like a real girl. 

Which brings me to dresses. For me, there are four kinds of dresses. 

The first are in the vast majority: ones that hang long and loose, like giant muumuus. These aren't so bad, because for the most part, if I like a pattern and a general style, I can take it in to my trusty seamstress, and she'll have her way with it. 

The second are the ones that I sometimes obtain out of sheer necessity. Maybe I'm going to a wedding, or a party where I'm pretty sure there are going to be some pretty conservative people. In that case, I take as much of the guesswork out of these types of dresses as I can, and usually through laziness, end up with something that makes me look like a 19th century Amish woman. Not ideal, but it gets the job done. (Plus, I tend to upstage brides, and brides don't like that. Long story).

The third type are the ones that make me look like a RAAAAGING slut. Not really too hard to imagine that one. Remind me, and I'll pull out a couple of examples of these that have been otherwise relegated to the back of my closet (because what the hell was I thinking!?! I can't wear that in public.)

[Oh! Fun trivia... the "!?!" punctuation you see at the end of sentences sometimes? That's called an "interrobang." Isn't that fun? "Interrobang."]

The fourth kind... these are the very rarest of them all. Like the rare kinds of Pokémon I can't recall (because my Game Boy died back in the early 2000s, but I did remember that there's an acute over the é!). The ones that meet an almost impossible set of criteria: I can wear them off-the-shelf; they show a little bit of cleavage, so I can be kinda flirty, but not so much that it's like "stare at mah tiddies even more than you already are!"; cute pattern; suuuuuperrr comfortable; hides my tummy; and also something that's not gonna piss off an old-school grandma. 

This dress covers all those bases, which basically means that I cant wait for la primavera to come quickly enough. Hang tight, new dress, hang tight! Only a... few more months? Ah well.

By the way, totally unrelated... but is it just me, or have there been a million memes going around about how January seems like it's lasted a loooooong time? I don't really think I've noticed, but does it feel that way to any of you?

Happy almost February, y'all!