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Episode 507 - Queen of the Black Coast - Part 2 (Patreon)

Published:
2020-07-10 17:54:13
Imported:
2021-07
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THEW-LY continues with the Conan classic Queen of the Black Coast by Robert E. Howard!

Special thanks to our reader - Joshua Bentley!

Catch him singing here in the new video for Just Another Werewolf Love Song!

Email pitchblackmanor@gmail.com to be notified first when Monster Classics releases this month!

Next up: Skulls in the Stars 

Comments

Jeff C. Carter

I give this episode Two Thews Up. P.S: Chad, can we get a bonus Crom-Cast that’s all Conan zingers and a skewed take on the celebrity news of the day?

Anonymous

I was drawing a gnoll for a D&D commission while listening to this episode; thanks for all the serendipitous hyena talk gentlemen! Also, great episode, and great reader, I love it when you guys do Conan!

Anonymous

No, no, Chris! Hyena clitorises don't just *look* like penii! They *work* like them! Lady hyenas urinate out of them, get sexual gratification from them, the things get erect when they're aroused, and they even mount and penetrate males to show dominance! For this reason, in the days of exploration, the Catholic Church thought hyenas were the only exclusively homosexual species of animal. Also, lady hyenas have a high mortality rate giving birth, because the first time 'round their pseudophallus gets...ripped open... Anyway, if you want more hyena talk and maybe some delightfully surreal, sardonic fantasy, I highly recommend a webcomic by Ursula Vernon called Digger! She managed to work that last hyena factoid into the plot in a way that *wasn't* weird and off-putting, which is a Herculean task in its own right.

Jason Thompson

Your pointing out all the racism in Conan, combined with D&D’s recent decision to assess their brand for symbolic racism, reminds me of the 2000s-era Conan RPG for d20 where your choices of ‘character races’ weren’t imaginary races like orcs, but literally were Howard’s thinly-veiled stereotypes. With Intelligence penalties and everything! AGGGHHHHH 😂😅

Anonymous

Not sure if Chad was really being serious with the aloe plant smelling like chicken soup, but here's a link that might shed some light on that: https://lapazgroup.net/2014/07/09/aloe-vera-from-a-to-z-or-how-to-harvest-your-aloe-plant/ Also, those Arnold puns were on point!

Anonymous

A giant snake shows up in three Conan stories that I know of, with "Black" in the title: this, Beyond the Black River, and People of the Black Circle. Was Howard's imagination more limited than I thought? I follow an artist on DeviantArt who illustrates creatures from the Hyborian Age, so it's extra fun listening to your coverage and being like, ohhh, this is the one with the flying ape demon.

Anonymous

Happy Birthday to me! Contrary to my comment on the previous episode, I listen to both episodes on this story on my birthday. I work in tourism and due to the current pandemic, I have had few visitors and seeing this was released on my birthday and I was working, I decided to listen to both episodes to boost my spirits and you guys succeeded in doing that. I thank you for that and I hope you guys will take this as an example for how you have made a difference in the lives of others. You helped me make it through 8 hours of boredom before I could go out with friends. Even though, through listening to the podcast, I’ve felt that it was with friends already. Thank you.

Evan

Okay, so massive caveat, this is a god-awful movie that you are totally forgiven for not having seen. With that aside, the Hyena at the pyramid scene INSTANTLY sent me back the the flashback scene from the shitty Alien/Predator crossover flick. The one that takes place in Antarctica. The way he described it, and how the hyenas were like super hyenas from hell, definitely made me think of the scene where the 3 predators are standing at the top of the pyramid shooting their shoulder laser things while all the Xenos rush at them from below. Given the stylistic choices of that movie, as well as Predator’s connection with Schwarzenegger, I’m almost willing to believe that they pulled that scene from this. Sadly Conan doesn’t get to have nuke-ex-machinas like the predators, but hey, maybe there’s some fanfic I can write. If you haven’t seen it and want laughably awful sci-fi horror (and possess the ability to mentally separate this tripe from the 2 significantly better source series) I highly recommend. The effects kind of hurt though 😅

Anonymous

I woke up still thinking about the 'Snake Watch Nights' comment (1) because it made me laugh my ass off and (2) because when I talk to people about the show Baywatch Nights they look at me like I need to be admitted thinking that I made it up. Thank you for keeping that shows spirit alive 🤣 #baywatchnightsseason3

Anonymous
>>40142319

The AD&D 2E world of Cerilia (the Birthright setting) similarly had different race options for humans with their own stat modifiers. Which...I mean, a core mechanic of the setting is the literal divine right of kings, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

Anonymous
>>40151537

"The God in the Bowl" also features a giant snake of sorts.

Anonymous
>>40140568

Hyena1 - This pseudo phallus is pretty weird, right? Hyena2 - You gotta laugh.

Anonymous

Oh, hyenas will get me commenting on something for sure. Back in vet school, during a course on animal behavior, one of our professors told us that it was much better to get caught by a lion than hyenas, because lions kill you before they eat you. Also, hyenas are one of the only animals that can become infected with rabies and carry it without dying. One last thing: although their laugh is the most recognizable sound they make, to call each other up they make more of rising "whooo-ooop" sound. Heard it in Africa and didn't realize what it was until much later, much to my chagrin.

Anonymous

Great show as usual, guys! I was struck by the opening reading. Specifically, "...his hair bristling at what he saw." Conan is so awesome that his *hair* gets all pissed off and aggro. I want more stories about Conan's hair battling necromancer mustaches, evil unibrows, and possibly getting it on with some actual supple panther fur.

Anonymous

Conan was the 6th leading cause of death back in Hyborian times. In fact, the record keepers just listed it as "Thewsanasia"

Anonymous

As everyone has written already, a great ep guys. The reader was especially good, capturing a dynamic pulpy feel. I have been rereading some Conan comics these days and this felt particularly serendipitous, well except for the fact I try to live in a weird fiction world as much as possible, so probably more just statistically likely. Anyway, a special extra thanks for skipping all the r word stuff. But do more Conan for Crom’s sake. Also, I hope everyone has been listening to Voluminous. This week’s ep is Howard talking politics, and just wow. If you have ever thought how some things never change listen to Lovecraft go off on the GOP of his day. Spoiler, not much has.

Anonymous

Loved, loved, Josh's reading. It really made Howard's prose sing. I can recall trying some librivox recordings of Conan stories, and they were brutal. The reader was, from the sound of his voice, two hundred years old and bored to death by all of Conan's high adventure. There was a full cast audio play of this story, though, that was pretty fantastic, especially how Conan said "Teeeeeto" whenever he talked to the captain.

Anonymous

Also, Chad was bang on the money with Conan's appeal. We've all had a moment where we've wanted to cleave an annoying boss or unruly customer in twain, and it's significantly more beneficial to just read about Conan doing it than to bring an Atlantean sword to work. Can't wait for Solomon Kane to bring vengeance and righteous fury next week!

Anonymous

The phrase "skulls in the stars" is mentioned in Dig Me No Grave, just for spooky effect, I assume.

Tomas Rawlings

So regarding old ones, to quote; - "This was the temple of the old ones," she said. "Look—you can see the channels for the blood along the sides of the altar, and the rains of ten thousand years have not washed the dark stains from them. The walls have all fallen away, but this stone block defies time and the elements." "But who were these old ones?" demanded Conan. - Are these Old Ones, Great Old Ones? Was Howard referencing the Mythos?

Anonymous

Great episode, except I’ve been getting the weirdest ads after googling “hyena clitoris” 😕😁

Anonymous

I’ve never read any Conan before, but after these two episodes, I’m totally down for the Conan Literary Podcast.

Anonymous

What attacks with a sword while lending out books - Conan the Librarian

Andrew M. Reichart

Ghost of a Monster Bird-Bat Ape, aaiiiieee!

Scott

I'm just really happy to get this in-episode reference to Hyena Rock. WE WANT MORE, DAMMIT!

Scott
>>40576043

Nah, as a librarian, we don't attack people while we are lending books. We wait until you are late returning them, and then your doom is sealed...

Scott

Guys - seriously, thanks for doing this story. It's hard to pull just one Conan story out as a must-do, but this one is probably the one that most people would suggest. It's impossible to really do full justice to Conan on screen - there are just too many compromises that you have to make, whether with language, the inherent racism, or sexism. Or all three - though Game of Thrones certainly managed to get away with a lot of stuff most of us would have thought impossible to do these days. Jason Momoa would be the likeliest person around today to make it work, but the scripts would just be too limiting. Still...

Anonymous

I'm one of the few people in the world apparently, that thoroughly enjoyed the Jason Momoa Conan. I think he embodied the joy of existence far better than Schwarzenegger. I'm not going to even try to convince anyone else of that, though, I've had plenty of discussions with friends about it. I don't have any particular nostalgia for the Milius version and the last time I watched it I found it just kind of plodding. And the less said about ...the Destroyer the better. I would love to see a direct adaptation of Red Nails.

Anonymous

There was an animated adaptation of Red Nails in development for a long time, but unfortunately it never came to be.

Anonymous
>>40744052

I recall seeing some animation tests on YouTube that looked pretty nice. I wonder what happened to it?

Anonymous

These Robert E. Howard episodes are quickly becoming some of my all-time favourites. Fun to read, fun to hear discussed, just fun all around. Say what you will about the man but he sure knows his way around a thrilling tale.

Anonymous

Howard uses these creatures in several stories; he never writes about their prime, but always just the pockets of survival long afterward. I think this story gives the most details about them Hunwulf/James Allison fights one in The Garden of Fear, which was also described as the last of its civilization. Solomon Kane encounters a tribe of them in Wings in the Night that are in a bestial state; he associates them with the harpies that Jason and the Argonauts fought. And Kull makes mention of them, though I don't think he ever fights any. I also believe that these are the "black-snouted winged creatures" that Lovecraft mentions in the Shadow Out of Time, which IIRC Chris wondered about when you covered that story. "Beyond the wide, warm ocean were other cities of the Great Race, and on one far continent I saw the crude villages of the black-snouted, winged creatures who would evolve as a dominant stock after the Great Race had sent its foremost minds into the future to escape the creeping horror." Lovecraft started writing SOoT a few months after Queen of the Black Coast was published, so it seem likely.

Anonymous

The marine from DOOM has the same energy as Conan

Anonymous

I feel like Chad was referring to this: https://youtu.be/Vx6hmUv06tg