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Episode 440 - The King of the Cats (Patreon)

Published:
2019-02-25 01:16:08
Imported:
2021-07

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Content

Creature Feature February continues with The King of the Cats by Stephen Vincent Benét!

Special thanks to reader Heather Klinke! Meee-oww!

Music featured in this episode: Camille Saint-Saëns - Danse Macabre 

Next up: The Rat by S. Fowler Wright

Comments

Anonymous

Oh! Oh! Danse Macabre! THIS IS MY JAM!

Anonymous

I first read this story in Alfred Hitchcock’s Monster Museum horror anthology way back in 1979. I loved all the old Hitchcock anthology books ❤️💚🖤💀

Anonymous

I *ABSOLUTELY* expected that the Princess would have suddenly shouted, "Then I'm the Queen of the cats!" as the italicized ending.

Anonymous

Heather startled the atoms out of me.

Anonymous
>>20184527

Also, I am preparing for more blind, irrational rat-hate from Chad when you cover the next story. I can feel it in my bones.

Anonymous

This is probably the most fun story I've ever heard on the podcast. Full marks to Heather for voice work and to the guys for the editing choice

Anonymous

Life is dreadfully unfair. True, we did get Kiss Meets Phantom of the Park. This is an unmitigated good in the world. But. But we never got a Stray Cats version of this story! Oh cruel Fates! Why not? Oh, to have those three rockabilly masters - with that hair! - in their prime slapping the bass, smacking those drums, and strummin that gui-tar . . . with their tails! Truly there is an alternate timeline where they got this right. I must cross. I must find a way.

Anonymous
>>20194338

I was thinking how this could have made that soft porn Natasha Kinski soap opera a whole lot more entertaining, especially with Malcolm McDowell doing the whole "Then I'm the King of the Cats" in his best Alex Delarge. Now that would be a mash up worth an HBO subscription.

Ben Gilbert

Sobbin' Women from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=846by3LOKlA" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=846by3LOKlA</a>

Anonymous

So, does every cat-person just assume they are next in line to be king of the cats and just wait for the good news to arrive? And is the heir to the throne never officially informed, possibly to allow the cat community the well deserved break of a royal vacancy? All very mysterious...

Anonymous

I’ve seen at least one bit of New England folklore linking the King of Cats story to witchcraft <a href="https://archive.org/details/jstor-534585." rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://archive.org/details/jstor-534585.</a> Maybe our maestro was a magician as well.

Jason Thompson

Hey Chris, Chad, you know, I saw a funny thing the other day. A bunch of podcasters were in the park burying this coffin that had a microphone and a crown on top of it. What do you think of that?

Anonymous

What do we all need to do to get Ms. Klinke to do a full reading of this story? I want my child, and her children, and their children's children to hear her say "Then I'm King of the Cats!"

Anonymous
>>20198085

I kept thinking about the Monty Python version but due to copyright laws can not share a clip.

Anonymous
>>20240711

I think lyin' Vincent Price must surely have something to say about that.

Anonymous

The reading for this one was great. Also, Chad does a damn good Hedonism Bot impression. Plot twist - Tibalt is just a human with a tail after all, but recognized the story of the king of the cats when Tommy told it. Tibalt was just bailing Tommy out of an incredibly awkward situation and escaping from a boring dinner by hilariously finishing the story and disappearing with the aid of a smoke bomb that he just happened to have with him. This was a really fun story but the idea that cats would recognize some form of organized external authority such as a monarchy is beyond belief. Cats are anarchists. No dogs, no masters!

Anonymous

I know this is months old by now, but did anyone else think that the name of a ghost story where a deceased person haunts headphones should be deadbeats?

Anonymous

Tibalt is going to be so embarrassed when he finds out the King of the Cats is still alive.

Anonymous

Many people think that Jaws 3D is based off of Jaws and Jaws 2, but it is in fact based off of the sheer unadulterated terror caused by the entire cast and crew of the cat from outers space being killed off one by one in separate roller coaster accidents. It was so effective at causing terror that the Dutch military started using roller coasters as an execution method. That is until it was banned in 1983 for being rude.

Anonymous
>>20228958

Well, from what little I learned of the process from some pleasant felines I met on the moon, a cat must be in their ninth life to be eligible for the position. Then a small council of Priests of Bast, themselves cats, congregate in Ulthar to elect a member of an extinguished bloodline to assume the throne. Once elected, the king-to-be makes pilgrimage to Ulthar where they reign for the rest of their days*. The election itself tends to be decided years ahead of time making the Ulthar Congress a bit of political theatre though there have been last minute upsets, like when Fraz One-Eye beat out Calico Jane for the position which almost led to a civil war that was only avoided when the belligerents found a warm spot in the sun to lay in and forgot what they were doing.

Anonymous

Have we learned nothing from the cautionary tale of Richard Grieco's "Tomcat"?

Anonymous
>>20342048

I was thinking that myself. How terribly awkward for everyone involved.