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Check out one of the Epic Rat Battles of History: Three Skeleton Key by George G. Toudouze!

Special thanks to reader Andrew Leman! Check out the goods at the HPLHS!

Florida Man fights the hurricane!

Next up: Leiningen Versus the Ants by Carl Stephenson


Comments

Anonymous

Awesome show, guys! A rat fact that didn't make it into the show is that rats have enormous livers that combat toxins in whenever they eat. And for the nasty crap that they eat I am sure that's a necessity. I dissected two rats in middle school Bio and their livers practically fill up their abdominal cavity. The most common pet breed of rat was bred by the Chinese as an animal to be eaten. In rural china they raise them in rice paddies. At harvest the children all get together and flush the rats from the paddies in a festival type atmosphere . The adults wait outside the paddies with nets. I want to say that Cambodia is one of the world's largest importer of rat meat that they buy from Vietnam and China.

Anonymous

Also, one rat fact that can never be overlooked: rats are precious fur-babies that look like mini oppossums.

Anonymous

Also, rats' eyes don't "vibrate." It's actually called "goggling" when they flex their jaws, causing their little eyes to bulge out and pull into their heads repeatedly.

Anonymous

I am also a fan of siege stories and swarms. Thanks for bringing this one to my attention. Too bad tickling never entered into it. That would be a nice link back to one of HPL's weirder weird details and would, surely, have led you down the delightful YouTube rabbit hole of rat tickling videos. Looking forward to next week. Fond, fond memories of Leiningen from high school English class. Like mango and chili powder, it paired perfectly with Empire of the Ants (introduced to me by The Son of Svengoolie) and all the assorted danger swarms (killer bees, killer tomatoes, thems...) I snuck into Northwestern's B-Fest to enjoy.

Anonymous

When I was doing my military service as a Singaporean 18 year old, we went on manouvers in Southern Thailand. The vendors near some of the rural villages we went through were selling very Pratchettesque Rat onna Stick. I didn't actually try any, probably for the best where my bowels were concerned, though, as you say these were organic paddyfield rats rather than Rats in the Original Dutch. Looking forward to Liningen and the Ants.

Anonymous

Listening to this article I couldn't help but think of this story from 2014: <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2014/01/24/tech/web/apparently-this-matters-lyubov-orlova-ghost-ship/index.html" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.cnn.com/2014/01/24/tech/web/apparently-this-matters-lyubov-orlova-ghost-ship/index.html</a> . Apparently a large cruise liner sat in port for several years taking on a full compliment of ships rats before being sold for scrap. While being towed to the scrap yard it broke loose. It floated around the Atlantic for a while before next being sited in range of the UK, where it was theorized that it was going to make landfall, disgorging the incestuous cannibal rats that had called it home for several years. I understand it's since been "confirmed" to have sunk.

Anonymous

And listening further through the episode you did mention this story. Well, here's the link for those who wanted to read into it anyway

Anonymous

The old time radio program "Escape" famously did dramatizations of both this story and the Leiningen Versus the Ants story. Both were well received, and remembered, in OTR circles. But the Three Skeleton Key story was so popular that fans wrote in asking for it to be performed again in later episodes, which it was, at least three times in total, with Vincent Price as the lead in one of the performances. This was where I first heard of the story, by way of NPR rebroadcasts of the radio show. I'm surprised to hear that it is also taught in schools. I sometimes wonder what made the story so popular back in the day. I mean, it's good, but lots of Escape stories were good. What was it about this one in particular? Perhaps rats held a special horror for people back in an earlier age.

William Rieder

Wonderful readings (as usual) from Andrew - Escape's "Three Skeleton Key" (w/ Vincent Price) is one of my go-to yearly Halloween radio drama listens while dispersing candy, so it's nice to have this as an early pairing. If you want another siege / rat tale, I recommend Henry Kuttner's first short story "The Graveyard Rats". Happy Mabon to all!

Anonymous

This was such a fun one to listen to. I struggled to decide whether to finish it or stop and read the story.

Anonymous

Awesome story! I appreciate the shout out to the flag guy and the mention of Hurricane Florence. I'm one of those affected: I live in Myrtle Beach and teach at Coastal Carolina University, which is closed this week as we await the rising floods. The guy with the flag, though he is from Florida, is a former CCU student and first pulled this stunt during Hurricane Matthew. The slow motion disaster AFTER a hurricane, where the coastal rivers fill up and locals are trapped, might make a great setting for a horror story or a weird tale. That's what happening at my house: we won't get flooded, but we may not be able to leave our neighborhood for a few days. The "monster in the house" template fits right in: some alligator genetically altered by toxic waste or maybe a vengeful corpse unearthed from a slave-era plantation graveyard can terrorize all of us who mainly worry about nothing more important than following our HOA rules.

Anonymous

I think you talked about the Flying Dutchman when you covered Poe's "Ms Found in a Bottle"

Jeff C. Carter

Fantastic Episode and reading! The siege plot put me in mind of my million and one zombie survival plans, and gave me this idea: while preparing the tin cover for the wooden door, they shape it with a tube or tubes lined with sharp edges. As the rats squeeze through they will bleed. They won’t even have to bleed to death, however, because blood thirsty rats would then pursue to devour those, creating a self perpetuating slaughter Machine. Use their urge to squeeze through holes and cannibalistic drive against them. As a backup, they could also use their hundreds of gallons of lighthouse lamp oil for a variety of things.

Anonymous

Great episode, gentlemen. However, I have to say: the MV Lyubov Orlova was not abandoned due to a rat infestation. It had already been abandoned in harbour due to financial difficulties and was being towed away to be scrapped, when the towing line snapped and the vessel started drifting. There were no rats involved until some tabloid started spreading the rumour that the ship had been on an Arctic cruise, when it had to be abandoned due to an out-of-control rat infestation.

Anonymous

Fun fact: The term for a rat's happy tooth-grinding (their purr equivalent) is called 'bruxing'. I have had pet rats, and yes, it does look/sound pretty weird!

Anonymous

Also, if no one has shared this yet, here is a delightful radio drama of this story narrated by Vincent Price. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVICuBWjzho" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVICuBWjzho</a>

Anonymous

This story was adapted and performed no less than *six* times for the radio series "Suspense" and "Escape", each featuring Vincent Price. Also, "Leiningen versus the Ants" was too, starring William Conrad. Both are great, and can be heard here <a href="https://archive.org/details/ThreeSkeletonKey" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://archive.org/details/ThreeSkeletonKey</a> and here <a href="https://archive.org/details/Escape480114LeiningenVsTheAnts" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://archive.org/details/Escape480114LeiningenVsTheAnts</a>

Anonymous

Indeed! Though, as I noted near the top, the eye-thing is called "goggling."

Anonymous

I would like to recommend "Sandkings" by G.R.R. Martin if you, Mr. Pfeifer and Mr. Lackey, liked this story. Like "The Human Chair," "Sandkings" just has something about it that gets underneath your skin and remains very creepy for months or years after you read it. It's got cosmicism, alienage, creepery, and deranged science. It also has a sci-fi vibe, but this takes a backseat to the weirdness I think.

Anonymous

LOVE Vincent Price's old radio stuff! This made my day!

Anonymous

LOVED this episode and story! Andrew on the mic, Chris channeling the ship, Chad working chum into it- damn! All the best of the HPLLP in one show! I've been with you guys for years now and it's content like this that still has me waiting impatiently for each episode. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me but you folks are the best phobia enablers ever! More,more,more....

Steve

Nice. Here's another weird derelict which came back to port: <a href="https://mysteriousuniverse.org/2017/03/the-mysterious-case-of-the-b-17-phantom-fortress/" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://mysteriousuniverse.org/2017/03/the-mysterious-case-of-the-b-17-phantom-fortress/</a>

Steve

Yes, UK red tops went to town on this. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova" rel="nofollow noopener" target="_blank">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Lyubov_Orlova</a>#Tabloid_speculation

Anonymous

Siege Awareness Month tagline: "Sometimes Things in Life Overwhelm you... And Try to Eat You"

William Rieder

"after" by Scott Nicolay has a version of this - post-flood, a woman is allowed to return to her condemned house for a few hours to survey the damage, then evades the escorts to stay there. Something else is in the abandoned / destroyed neighborhood with her.

Wesley Vanroose

It is really weird to hear how horrifying the Dutch language in these stories, as a Dutchman. Because for me, it sounds very comical to hear the Dutch language in a horror story.

Anonymous

I can't help pointing out the phrase "In Dutch" means "In Trouble". Does anyone know why?

Anonymous

Wait. Rats can drop fifty feet without injury? How was this tested?

Raoul Kunz

The "in Dutch" meaning in trouble is, afaik, an originally mid-19th century term for this deriving in the US from the colonial animosity in the northern American east coast area between the anglophone and Dutch speaking colonials and probably correlates to the load of negative cliches the the Durch colonials got associated with (see "The Lurking Fear") many still present in American expressions relating to stinginess especially, though there where more unsavoury associations that have largely died out. Hope this touches on the matter, though I was unable to exactly pin it down, just going with my knowledge of both history and cultural semiotics here...;) Best regards Raoul G. Kunz

Anonymous

Things top 3 things I learned from listening to this week's show: #1. Boats/Ships can talk #2. Dutch/Holland rats are the toughest rats (personal side note: this is most likely because they grew up wearing tiny wooden clogs and faced a lot of bullying in school) #3. If you find a suit of armor washed up on shore, don't bring it home as it may contain a very dedicated criminal burglar (personal side note: keep an eye on the suit of armor I found washed up on the shore yesterday. I found it in the kitchen this morning with the fridge open. Most unusual...)

Anonymous

As to why the characters the protagonist are with are Breton and Basque, I would guess its because both regions have a reputation for seafaring (Brittany in particular) so its trying to emphasise that these are people who are used to the dangers the sea throws up. Its like having the characters in a desert set horror story be Texans rather than from New Hampshire.

Anonymous

The 'Dutch' phrases with negative meanings arose following the Anglo-Dutch wars of the 17th and 18th century - they were particularly bitter, and the English started using 'Dutch' to mean bad or false. The most common phrase still in use of this kind is 'Dutch Courage' (false bravery when drunk), and this is the origin of 'going Dutch' - it comes from 'Dutch Treat' (being taken out but then finding out you have to pay for yourself). Some other good ones that have fallen out of use include 'Dutch Bargain' (a bad deal made whilst drunk) and 'Dutch Defence' (seeking clemency for a crime by betraying others to the authorities).

Anonymous

Super pumped for this, I love this story

Anonymous

When they mentioned loving seige stories, I instantly thought of ...vs. the Ants. Oddly, I read that story in school around the same grade level they mention having read this one. Perhaps junior high English teachers want us to think about being beseiged before the forces of ruthless, hungry, implacable Nature?

Anonymous

Amazingly, I just discovered that my local public library is doing an old-time radio show-style readers' theater performance this weekend - and one of the pieces is Three Skeleton Key!! I'm really sad that I can't go to it!

Anonymous

I first heard this via a Metafilter post about Vincent Price. I listened to all of 'The Price of Fear' and Three Skeleton Key. It's just amazing to hear him narrate, and this was one of the few stories that could honestly make my skin crawl.