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"Okay...! Let's start the bloodbath!" A cheerful voice reaches my ears, and immediately my spine feels a chill of fear. It's obvious why, that exclamation isn't exactly friendly after all, and most importantly...

Where am I? I was just sleeping on Yunyun's house, since I had just arrived at the village of the Gumins and now... I found myself in this strange place. It's like I'm underwater...? But also in a castle...? To be honest it looks like a lazy RPG dungeon.

And I'm surrounded by people too, mostly males who are now running for their lives, trying to escape from the person who has basically just declared that she will slaughter everyone here.

I should probably run too, shouldn't I? But before that, I take a good look at the girl. She's... young. A bit older than Megumin maybe, but not by much, that is to say, she definitely shouldn't be talking about bloodbaths.

However, her age is the least important thing about her. What's actually scary, is that she has dragon horns, a dragon tail... and a massive lance. Essentially, she screams important and dangerous character.

Yeah, I definitely need to run, but for some reason I feel way too mesmerized to move, it's like I'm looking at something special... like I'm looking at a Gumin. That's right, this girl gives massive Gumin vibes for some reason.

Her tail excitedly shakes as she analyzes me, and the rest of the people who haven't ran, probably because they're way too terrified to move or something. Ah, I can't believe I'm much more pathetic than them, I can't move because I'm curious. Or maybe it's because this is just so surreal?

She hums. "Um... I wonder... who here deserves to be kept alive as a little piggy?" Her eyes gain a strange shine. "Okay! Line up everyone! The ugly ones will die now, and the pretty ones are getting tortured to death!" And that line is enough to break me from my stupor.

As everyone refuses to move and get in line, she pouts. "Geez, don't you pathetic wastes of space get it? I have to do this before Rin shows up, that manager of mine is way too nice after all." And there's a name I don't recognize, not that I'm surprised by that.

I need to leave, I should have ran with the others who seemingly got away instead of standing around looking mesmerized. But now things simply can't be helped, somehow I have to find a way out of this situation.

I put a hand on my sword's hilt, or at least I try to. It's not with me, probably because I'm wearing sleeping clothes, in fact I'm not even wearing my scarf right now. Ah, if I was the type to sleep naked, this would have been really embarassing.

So my options are... "You there!" Severely limited, because the dragon girl has just pointed at me. "You look all unique and stuff! Are you an important NPC or something!?" It doesn't even surprise me that she addresses people as NPC's.

An awkward smile appears on my face, I avoid her eyes, a usual characteristic of mine. "My name is Subaru Natsuki! The Purge King!" When did I gain enough confidence to scream that in the face of clear death? Ah, it's probably because I have died before.

She chuckles. "What kind of ridiculous title is that...!? That's definitely not NPC behavior..." Suddenly she hops in place, this girl is definitely very energetic. "Could it be that you are a master!? A lost little master!?" Well, in a certain way.

I hesitantly nod. "I do have a sex slave, yes." After saying it, I realize this is probably not information I should be giving to an enemy who apparently wants to torture me to death if I'm pretty enough.

But it can't be helped. As said before, I'm just so... lost with this situation that I don't know what to do. Actually, talking about something familiar like my bodyguard calms me down a little, it seems Lalatina protects me even whem she isn't here.

The unknown killer stutters. "S-sex slave!? Don't tell me you used your Command Seals for that...!" She then shakes her head. "No, it doesn't matter, you definitely don't have your servant anymore." Actually, I still own Lalatina.

I grin, for some reason I feel in control of this situation. "By the way, I also have three fiancees." I'm counting Yunyun, even though I have met her so recently. Well, it's not like saying two would be much less impressive or anything.

The girl takes a step back, she looks... dizzy. "Y-you...! You're the enemy of idols everywhere aren't you!? Not a piggy, or a squirrel, or a puppy! You're a tiger!" Oh, no one has called me that before, that sounds nice.

My grin grows even bigger. "Okay then, make sure to introduce yourself to this tiger before he eats you up." Geez, I sure am acting cocky in front of a stranger who wants to kill me and the people surrounding me.

By the way, it goes without saying, but these people are now sending me weird looks. Well, the ones who remained are, some were smart enough to run away after all, taking advantage of the chaos I'm creating.

The unknown girls is blushing up a storm. "I-I am Elizabeth Báthory! Please don't eat me up Mister Tiger...!" That name sounds familiar for some reason... "Ah! I just messed up! Now Rin is gonna get real mad!" She dropped that name again.

But that doesn't matter, because I now realizing why I am acting so cocky. The truth is that I misread her before, this girl is not a Gumin downgrade, she is something much more scary, she is an Aqua downgrade.

Going from scarily murderous to stupidly idiotic? Yeah, I'd recognize that everywhere, and maybe because my mind and body are used to it, I can handle it without much trouble at all. Still... I should be careful, this girl does not love me.

I chuckle. "Don't worry, this Mister Tiger won't eat you... As long as you don't back me up into a corner, a threatened animal is dangerous you know?" I'm sure I just acted chuuni enough to make a Gumin orgasm.

Elizabeth quickly nods. "I won't...! I swear I won't, so please don't...!" And then her eyes widen. "Wait a minute... why am I scared of you? You're just a normal human right? And you servant is definitely gone if you found yourself here..." Oh, this is bad.

Aqua has one crucial weakness, and it's a pretty simple one too, she does not realize how strong she actually is. This girl has seemingly evolved past that, remembering that I'm just a weak human. This isn't a duel between a tiger and a dragon, this is a duel between a spear wielding dragon woman and a ex-NEET.

Which means I have two options now, I can either accept reality and try to run away, or... "Well, it's not like I need some massive levels of strength to deal with you, it's like you're a buffet of meat who showed right in front of me." Or I can push my angle even farther.

That's right, I have to delude her into thinking I am the one with an advantages position, so... so... just for now I'll let that guy and his eroge lines out. However, I can't just keep embarrassing her forever, eventually I have to pounce on a opportunity of victory, if that ever presents itself.

Elizabeth flinches, as expected of an Aqua she has quickly forgot that her lance could cut me in two. "W-wow...! Why did the Moon Cell even let a guy as scary as you show up!?" That's an interesting name, and also another clue to where I am.

The girl's lips is trembling. "A-alright, I'll leave you for Rin to handle...! It's not an idol's job to deal with this type of rabid fan, so this cute girl beloved by all will be leaving the stage for a few moments." An idol...? Now that I think about it, this girl did say I was an enemy to all idols.

It seems I was wrong yet again, she definitely does have Gumin genes, she is Aquagumin. This girl is way too cute... and also way too murderous, I can't be distracted, I can't forget her previous threat... Though Wolbach is my fiancee, so maybe I'm just a weird guy.

The words that Hitogami once said to me come back to my mind, that I used to hangout with super villains or whatever. I also remember that I should call for Satella if need be, but thankfully I managed to defuse the situation.

Yeah, Subaru Natsuki rolled great on his charisma check...! "Yeah, buzz off idol girl, if I see you again I'm ending your idol career." It's obvious to what I'm referring to. Idols can't have boyfriends and they definitely can't be attacked by wandering tigers!

Though it is a shame she will leave, mostly because I have no clue of where I am, and she clearly has some information. I guess my only option will be running towards the direction all those guys went to.

The dragon girl gasps. "Oh...! Oh no...!" She then bites her lips. "But I... eventually I will probably end up meeting you again!" I sure hope not! "So I have no choice, but to brave my fears and hunt a tiger!" Oops.

It seems I pushed way too far... The words I said before, that an animal will attack when cornered are now biting me in the ass, but in my defense... I think it's clear to all that this girl is a complete and utter nutjob.

An awkward smile appears on her face. "Besides, you're avoiding my eyes for some reason, so I bet you're just a cub who's scared of women...!" Ah, actually women should be scared of me. "I'll put you down before you become an Idol-Eater!" Bloodlust floods the area.

There is a burst of sound as the girl dashes towards me, she is unbelievably fast. "Special skill! Tiger ender!" That's definitely not a special skill! But I shouldn't be thinking about that, instead my mind needs to think about how to survive this...!

She's faster than Eris, that's for certain, so there's no way I could ever, ever dodge her attack. Still, my body naturally moves, breaking the levels of a normal human, desperately trying to survive.

What happens next is a mess, even I don't know exactly... Though one thing is made clear, while Elizabeth Báthory is indeed faster than Eris Greyrat, she's also much less skilled, she definitely doesn't know how to swing that thing around.

That factor, combined with my luck, and my above human capabilities, ends up saving me. "Ah! You're not a cub! You're not a cub! I take those words back, so please don't eat me!" But it also puts me in an awkward position, one that is normally reserved for a shitty anime.

I guess there's no need to hide it, currently Elizabeth and I are in the legendary sixty-nine position. Should I thank Goderis for this? I don't know, but what I do know is that this stupidly murderous idol wears striped pantiens. Cute, I guess...

I try to speak back to her, ignoring my embarrassment. "It's hard not to eat you when you put your pussy on my face!" Well, I'm also putting my crotch on hers, so maybe I shouldn't be talking. Actually this is probably punishment for using too much of that guy's power.

In a burst of strength, Elizabeth jumps off me, she lands on her feet of course, and with teary eyes she starts to question me. "Y-you saw it, didn't you...? You definitely did!" Oh boy. Well, before I answer that, and probably get killed, I start to get up.

I'm trying my best to hide my nervousness, but I'm sure I'm failing. "Yeah, I saw it, it was striped. Sorry." There's no point in hiding the obvious. I'll have to apologize to Eris and the others later, a good husband doesn't go around putting his face on a Aquagumin's panties.

She points me, anger and embarrassment clear on her face. "W-who cares about my panties!?" Y-you...? You should care right!? "I'm an idol, one who is gonna get a stop in the top charts one day! It's only natural one day my panties will be seen!" It definitely isn't!

She smirks, that previous anger seemingly forgotten. "That's why I wear striped panties, the most beautiful and fashionable of undergarments an idol can wear. One day, when a disgusting otaku sees it by chance, his mind will be eternally blown!" My mind is feeling fine, thank you.

I smile, and quickly pounce on an opportunity. "I see, thank you for blowing my mind Lil Nas Elizabeth. Now can I please leave? I'm a busy man." I wonder if Wolbach would show up to save me if I called for her enough.

She nods. "Okay, see ya tig-." And then she furiously shakes her head. "Hell no! Of course you can't leave...! Not after you saw it, you dumbass!" Eh? But you just said it was fine right? Man, idols are a pain.

I rolls my eyes. "This is why I never followed any idol." She looks horrified, but whatever, it's not like there was a silver haired elf idol around after all. "Didn't you say it was okay to get a glimple of your panties? Then let me go." I need to go look for clues already.

She pouts, tears in her eyes. "I'm not talking about my panties, Tiger." R-really!? Then what did I see!? "I'm talking about my reverse scale! If anyone sees it, they either have to take responsibility and marry me... or they have to die." That's...!

I take a step back. "I assure you, I did not see this reverse scale." My eyes were too focused on her panties to see anything else. I'm assuming this thing was on her tail? I certainly didn't see it, so let me go!

Her eye twitches. "Don't lie to me, or you will become a corpse...!" She has deluded herself into a position of marriage! "So don't think you can just talk your way out of this one Subaru Natsuki." She sounds strangely terrifying right now.

I take another step back, I don't need any more wives, fiancees, sex slaves or whatever else...! "Hey! Aren't you disgusted with me or something? You definitely don't wanna marry a guy like that, right?" In the end, our eyes haven't met, so she should be disgusted at me...

She raises an eyebrow. "Oh? Did my Subaru start showing a sudden insecurity?" Y-your Subaru!? "Don't worry, I don't feel disgusted at you or anything... Well, you're not exactly handsome, but when compared to those NPC's... At least you're unique." This NPC talk again...

That doesn't matter though. What does matter is the fact that she doesn't feel disgusted at me... Does that mean that she's my soulmate? I'm kind of too terrified to check if I'm being honest, but maybe I should...

I mean, me being teleported to a weird location and then meeting a red headed soulmate isn't exactly something strange to me, so maybe I should take this opportunity. If Eris hadn't fallen for me, things would be way tougher after all.

Suddenly Elizabeth laughs. "So be glad! You just hit the jackpot, Tiger!" What are you, Mary Jane!? "However... I want to take a good look at your eyes, so stop evading mine." Her expression loses it's cheerfulness, it seems she's getting genuinely angry at my habits...

I sigh. "Sure, just be ready to be disappointed." I stop evading her blue eyes, a shock runs through my body. Man... the fact that this girl is my soulmate probably says bad things about me, but it is what it is.

She jumps back, blushing. "H-hey aren't you surprisingly handsome!?" Nope, but love is blind. "Wait, of course you're handsome! I wouldn't let some ugly duckling look at my scale after all, father didn't raise a slut." You totally let some random look at your scale!

But maybe... maybe this will play out in a way that is advantageous to me. "So what now Elizabeth? To be honest, I'm completely and utterly lost." At least I found a guide, even if she's totally bananas.

In fact, she's totally bananas that she starts muttering to herself. "Oh, he's already thinking about our future... what a tiger..." And then her eyes widen. "Right, you're a tiger! So we have to establish some rules!" What, I can't be Spider-Man on sundays?

She clears her throat. "First of all, since I'm an idol, we can't do... that type of perverted stuff you like. Sorry, but contain yourself to looking only." That's fine, I wasn't planning on cheating on my actual wives. "W-well, maybe we can have a scandal or two eventually...! Like, maybe, perhaps, possibly you can kiss me in front of my fans!" Idol NTR!?

She continues, though her eyes lose it's light. "Second of all, I'm the main wife. I don't care if you have a few mistresses or whatever, but I'm a noble lady, so I stand above them all." How very Eris of you.

I nod. "That's... all acceptable to me? Yeah, I'm fine with those rules." I'm not, I literally just met this girl, and she seems pretty evil. I am not a idiot however, so I'll play along to save my own hide.

She giggles. "Great! This is all going along splendidly... Though I should have probably resisted giving my heart to a commoner so easily... In my defense, I was facing a tiger." No, you're definitely the predator here!

She then looks at me. "Okay! Follow me Tiger! I have to make our marriage ceremony... Oh! Rin is gonna be so jealous! And so is BB! And... finally that annoying fox woman will shut up, thinking she's so great because she's married to a pig." That's...

I tilt my head. "Sorry, but I don't know any of these people..." I might as well take this opportunity to ask. I'm specially curious about this Rin person...

Elizabeth starts listing them off. "Oh, right. Rin is my manager/master, the fox woman is Caster, she's annoying, the piggy is Hakuno Kishinami, she's annoying, BB is my employer, she is annoying." I have a feeling you're the annoying one here.

I try to hide what I'm actually feeling. "I see...? Well, I'm looking forward to meeting them, I suppose." Considering they all know Elizabeth, I'm betting they are also evil, so I'm actually pretty scared of them.

She nods. "Good! Good! Though Rin may die soon, since I'll be asking BB to make you my manager." Huh?

Oi, don't casually say your boss is the type to kill her underlings!