A Hundred Girlfriends Who Really Love You... In Another World! 18 (Patreon)

"Come to me Chomusuke!" Megumin basically kicks the door open, something that would be very dangerous should the cat be close to it. But this is Megumin so it's only natural she didn't really think about it.

A... something that is definitely not a normal cat quickly runs to Megumin's side. I'm assuming that's Chomusuke... and while she isn't exactly monstrous, she's not what one would expect. For example, she has little wings... Basically she is an adorable little black magical cat.

Nanahoshi sighs and comments with a monotone tone.. "Great, we found the thing." She then looks at me. "Subaru, now that you're free, follow me and Rudeus back to my room. I have some stuff we should probably talk about." I'm not exactly free though.

By the way, while Nanahoshi and Rudeus followed us, the princess and her bodyguards very much didn't. It's strange, since you would think that as my soulmates Ariel and Fitz would want to follow me around, but... Whatever, what they do is none of my business. Literally since they said it was student council stuff.

Megumin pick her cat up, and quickly turns around to face my fellow Earthling. "What is the rush!? Do you not wish to pet this beautiful being!?" For some reason Nanahoshi actually flinches away from the cat.

To my surprise, it's Rudeus who extends a hand and pets her. "Nanahoshi, no need to be scared, it's just a cat." And that cat is purring now that is in contact with Rudeus, which has me convinced that this creature must be evil!

Nanahoshi looks away. "It's clearly some sort of monster. I don't want it biting me and giving me some sort of disease." I guess that's fair enough, but now Chomusuke is glaring at you. Congratulations, you made the cat mad!

Eris snorts. "Coward~!" She too extends her hand, ready to pet the animal, but... "Hey!" She quickly pulls it back, since the little creature actually breathed fire at her. It wasn't nearly enough to hurt someone, and it quickly faded away, but it was scary for a moment.

Megumin looks down on her cat. "Bad Chomusuke. Eris is cool, you should be breathing fire on Nina instead." Are you mad at her because her introduction wasn't chuuni enough? Please be aware that not everyone is as lame as us.

Nanahoshi sounds actually scared now. "Yeah, she's genuinely a little monster cat. This place really does corrupt everything that is good." Geez, it's not like Earth cats are much better, they're little monsters too.

Megumin glares at the live banana. "What are you talking about? Chomusuke is just a normal cat." Oi, are you trying to gaslight Ugly Gobbo? Are you really trying to restard her life as a bully victim for no reason? I approve.

Nanahoshi crosses her arms. "I'm not gonna argue with you. I know how your species are." Please don't adopt fantasy racism... "Anyways, let's go already Subaru." Ah, that's not gonna happen.

I awkwardly scratch my cheek. "Sorry, I can't." Then I point at Darkness. "I need to look for her other party members... They all got randomly teleported around the city, and as you have seen with Megumin... We need to find them as fast as possible." So far their track record with normality has not impressed me.

I suppose it's that old cliche of strong people being weird. Megumin is a chuuni and Darkness is a masochistic pig... I don't even want to imagine what problems Kazuma and Aqua have. Actually I sort of saw a little bit of that already, back when I died.

Nanahoshi shrugs, trying to act indifferent, but anger is clear on her voice. "Suit yourself." And she begins walking away without saying anything else. Welp, I made her mad at me, but in my defense, this is serious...!

Still, before she leaves I raise my voice. "Thanks for coming to help me Nana!" If Rudeus can call her by her real name, I can call her by a nickname. "I'll see you as soon as possible!" And instead of responding she just begins to walk faster.

Rudeus sighs. "I'll go follow her..." He then sends a smile Megumin's way. "Good luck finding your party members, I know stuff like that can be sort of stressful." Eris flinches, even as she says nothing.

Megumin nods. "Thanks. And make sure to tell me about your demon eye later... Actually I would be willing to pay a great price to have it!" What are you!? An Uchiha!? You're gonna pop that bad boy into place or something!?

Rudeus chuckles. "Sorry, but the dark ability to perceive this world's fate is one I must bear alone...!" Even as Megumin looks disappointed at his rejection, she still doesn't look sad. As a man from Earth, he really knows how to play the chuuni angle.

He begins walking away, but before that, Eris sighs. "Rudeus I..." Is their second confrontation about to happen? I hope it isn't as messed up as the first one. Eris wants to be his friend after all... And I respect that, even if Rudeus is trash.

He doesn't stop moving, but he sends a thumbs up her way. "It's fine Eris... I get it." He does!? "Besides... I found a new hope! From the ashes of cunny and nostalgia a phoenix shall emerge! Mightier than ever!" And he basically skips away. Just... just die man.

Darkness squints her eyes towards Rudeus's direction. "I don't know why, but I feel a connection to him..." Probably because you're both hopeless perverts. If I wasn't your soulmate, I imagine you would be in his basement right now.

I sigh. "Please cut that connection as fast as possible. Also, any clues where the rest of your teammates could be?" Didn't Aqua make alcohol related jokes when I met her? Maybe she's in some random bar getting wasted.

My NEET senses had recognized Kazuma as a fellow Journeyman Level NEET, so I imagine he is in some alleyway crying and getting robbed... But clearly my NEET senses are shit, since he's apparently some legendary hero or whatever.

Darkness pauses for a moment, putting her small mind to work. "I imagine Aqua is getting wasted on a bar, and probably putting herself at a massive debt, since she has zero money." So I was right huh? Now that I think about it, she also brought up debt a lot.

Geez, you think a goddess would be more godlike... Both her and Goderis are troublesome... I still can't believe two goddesses ended up as my soulmates, thankfully it can't get any worse... or better...

The knight continues. "Kazuma is a little bit harder to predict however, since he is so scummy, pathetic, and virgin." All traits that you possess. Somehow you're still sort of likeable though, in a weird way. Also, don't talk like being a virgin is some massive sin.

Megumin interjects. "Oh! I know, I know!" Why are you so excited about this!? "He's probably in some brothel! That sounds like Virginzuma alright!" Well, then he won't be Virginzuma for much longer. Also, it's kind of crazy how you guys insist on ruining whatever heroic image I make of him on my mind.

Eris nods. "Well, great men have great appetites. That's why Subaru and I... Forget it." You are a great man indeed! Honestly, I still think is crazy I can keep up with you at all! But that's the power of love for you... And the power of me wanting to ejaculate inside of you.

Nina tilts his head. "He's a virgin though, so clearly that can't be it. Also, good boys and girls dedicate their life's to the sword." Your own virginhood and insecurities about it are showing up!

Darkness nods. "I agree with you Nina. Kazuma is the type who says he's about to do the deed, but then runs away before it starts. I speak through pers..." A blush appears on her face. "Nevermind! But you all must believe me!" Wait... am I cucking someone again? Awesome. Wait, not awesome!

She continues. "So... knowing the kind of man he is, there are many paths he could have taken. For example, he could be betting all his money away right now, or he could be wasted right besides Aqua..." Your opinion of him is really low huh? "Or he could be scamming the elderly, or he could be trying to buy a young slave girl, or he could be robbing someone... or he could be crying on an alleyway and getting robbed." Like really low.

I sigh. "I guess we might as well hit a bunch of bars then, with any luck we stumble onto both him and Aqua." Would they be open right now though? I mean, it's not that late... Yeah, who am I kidding, there are definitely people drinking even though the sun hasn't gone down.

Megumin pouts. "We should take Chomusuke home first though. She's a lazy girl, so she won't like if we just run around the city with her." What home!? Belzerg!? Honestly, you guys really didn't plan at all...

I respond with a deadpan tone. "Sure, we will pass through Lancel's home on the way. By the way, it's not my house, he's just a kind man who's lending me a place to stay." Hopefully Megumin doesn't cause him much trouble.

The mage gasps. "You're homeless...!" Ayup. "Oh, I get it. Your legendary dark tower full of mysteries, space-time barriers and ancient powerful beings is probably really far away huh?" I don't have one of those. Please come back to reality and forget your chuuni delusions.

I snort. "Sure." I won't bother correcting her chuuni delusions, she's young so it's fine... And even if she wasn't, it would be fine too. This is apparently a cultural thing after all, so I shouldn't disrespect it. Also, I would totally make a dark spooky tower if I had the means.

I continue. "Anyways, we should go." We've done everything we needed to do in this academy. Hell, we even got luckier than expected, finding two party members instead of just one. And yes, of course Chomusuke counts as a party member.

Megumin frowns. "Wait, there's something you're forgetting to do...!" Publically shaming Rudeus? "You need to pet Chomusuke too! Trust me, you're gonna love it!" Well, she did breathe fire at Eris...

Geez, what am I overthinking about? It's just a dumb, cute, little cat. So I gently put my hand on top of her head. "You're right Megumin." Though I wonder why the mage is forcing me to do this while ignoring Nina.

I begin patting the cute animal. "Good girl..." And I look her in the eyes without hesitation or thought. I mean, it's an animal, so of course I do, it's not like...! I hate myself. A shock runs through my body. 

Nah, this is probably nothing, it's just like with Nanahoshi! Yep, I'm choosing to ignore how Chomusuke has now decided to start loudly purring. I like being sane, it's pretty cool!

/////////

Where am I anyways...? There's a man... He is lovingly whispering on my ears. "You're a goddess..." I am indeed... "Not a chuuni decoration..." Yes...! "Sloth and violence aren't even that bad, they're actually pretty cool..." Talk to me king! "And most importantly... Sloth is your thing... It doesn't belong to some old useless spirit who wanders around worshipping a mean half-elf." Yes~!

He continues, he has no form, and I'm fairly sure this is a dream, but it's an enjoyable one. "The Axis Order is filled with useless freaks..." Oh~! "Aqua is a useless bitch..." Okay, this isn't just a dream, this is a wet dream! I'm getting fucked by this formless man if it's the last thing I do.

He whispers one more time... "Please don't drool on the paperwork..." Hah? Please go back to the sexy whispering that makes me feel good about myself. 

Oh, I'm waking up. Why can't a sloth goddess be lazy!?

...

"Lady Wolbach... Please wake up, you're the only one who actually works hard here." I slowly open my eyes, a demon of some kind is shaking me awake. Oh, it's Lancel, my secretary demon. By the way, Lancel is a pretty common name nowadays.

I sigh. "Sorry, back to work I go." Honestly, sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who works hard here... Probably because like Lancel said, I really am! Geez, can't a goddess of sloth lazy around a bit more!? 

I hate how all my comrades are weirdos and...! Ah, this is what I get for joining the Demon King I guess. But what else was I supposed to do? I'm a dark goddess you know? Well, the Axis Order turned me into one at least, so It's not like I can just go help humans or whatever. Probably. It's against my nature at least.

Ah... Back then, thousands of years in the past, I would be the final villain! Either that or the main heroine! I miss my worshippers... I specially miss the mana I had from having so many worshippers... But nowadays probably the only person who remembers me is that old dragon in Lugunica. And it's not like I can go catch up with him about the old times, since he probably would attack me on sight.

At least I still have some worshippers in the Demon King's army, so my mana reserves are still pretty incredible. Though the fact that my followers are all concentrated here probably means I can never go back to being a good goddess...

My demon secretary nods. "Good! You almost ruined all the documents you have to sign!" Please show me some respect, I'm a god damn goddess for me sake! You're lucky I'm so nice, or you would be dust right now.

Sometimes I wish I was more like Hans, then I could probably just kill all the people who annoy me and spend the rest of my days lazing around... But Hans is dead anyways, so his example is a bad one to follow, I suppose.

I pout. "Don't scream in my ear. I just woke up..." And I was dreaming about something really pleasant too... Sadly romance is probably not in the cards for me. Not many people like dating the embodiment of Sloth and Violence. Even if part of that violence is currently sealed away.

He waves me off. "Yeah, yeah, back to work. We aren't gonna win this war with you being a lazy bones." Shut up! I'm the only general here who actually works! "You damn old hag." Limits have been passed.

I raise my hand, and then invisible hands hold him in the air. I'm the embodiment of Sloth after all, something like magic hands that do all the work for me are easy to create. "Hey...! Did you forget who you're talking to!? I'm a goddess! A genuine dark goddess!" Now he looks afraid, his body trembling. Good.

No... This isn't how I should act to my subordinate, this is like... abuse or whatever. I don't even know why I'm so focused on the goddess thing right now either... It's always a insecurity of mine, but if nobody brings it up, I normally don't talk about it.

That dream messed me up, I guess. It's... weird, in some ways I still feel like I'm dreaming... No, in some ways I still feel like that man is here, comforting me. I must be really stressed, after finishing this I'm gonna take a hot bath...

I begin lowering down Lancel, but before I completely release him, courage appears on his eyes. "You're not a goddess! Just some delusional hag! A delusional hag the big boss found wandering around!" Actually I was found and released by a little girl.

Wait a minute...! "Screw you Lancel! Why are you being so mean anyways!? You just told me I work hard!" Yeah, I definitely have been too nice to these little guys. I don't wanna abuse them, but if they keep acting like this...

The demon huffs. "If it's any of your business...! I'm mad 'cause I got rejected by Lady Sylvia. Sorry." Why is she so popular anyways!? Ah, whatever. I release my secretary from my grasp.

I can't help, but mutter. "I want a boyfriend..." Now that he brought up her... or him... or they, it made me think of how popular they are with zero effort. It's not fair you know!? I can't believe I lost all my good worshippers before even finding a soulmate...

Lancel walks closer and pats my back. "It's gonna be okay Lady Wolbach, even the oldest of cakes gets devoured eventually..." I send him a ghastly look. I will never understand how some of the demons here have the courage to say stuff like that!

Still, a boyfriend huh...? A formless man huh? I... Something clicks. "Unholy me, I just found my soulmate...!" And thank me that it isn't Lancel! I don't know how, but that dream was definitely my body reacting to the shock while I was asleep...

Lancel looks down. "Actually Lady Wolbach, my heart still belongs to Lady Sylvia. Sorry." Who cares about you!? I just found my eternally destined lover! And before that disgrace Aqua too...! 

How though...!? Wait, I get it! It was probably my counterpart, the one I left recuperating back in the village of the Crimson Demons... Does that mean my soulmate is one of those chuunis...? Urgh, I hope not. Though the fact that I just had that reaction proves that it isn't.

I close my eyes and focus, trying to find my counterpart who still retains a few of my domains of violence. And she's... very, very far away. Way farther than the village where I left her, that's for sure.

Someone probably found her and took her away... I should go there as fast as possible, who knows what's gonna happen with my soulmate if I leave him alone with a being who should be pure violence right now!

I open my eyes. "Lancel...! I'm taking a few days off!" I get up from my chair and raise an arm to the skies. Teleporting using a feeling instead of actual coordinates will be rough, but it can't be helped!

He sighs. "And there goes our last actual worker." I focus my mana, close my eyes yet again, and... teleport.

...

I open my eyes. "Oops." And now I'm completely drained of mana. I didn't even make the whole trip... It's because I got so happy I forgot I'm not as popular as I used to be...

And now I'm in front of a stoic looking elf who's pointing a staff at me... And a stoic looking girl who's also pointing a staff at me. Yeah, this is the definitely the appropriate luck for someone who somehow fell off and became a dark goddess.

I guess I just gotta smile and wave. "H-hello! I... I just... failed a spell attempt! Please ignore me!" Or alternatively...

Please travel with me! I have zero mana right now!