Mettle, Metal, Meddled - Chapter 45 - Progress (Patreon)

M’gann waited until everyone was well into their meal before giving me a look, her mental presence sticking close to mine while she physically reached out for my hand. I gave her a mental hug and tried to send waves of reassurance and confidence to her, giving her hand a squeeze. She took a deep breath and looked around the table.

“Guys… I-I need to talk to everyone about something,” She started, getting everyone's attention. “So… I’ve talked about my psychic abilities… I think… and how Martians have a psychological… a need to connect and be in contact with other people around them… I know I’ve kind of explained it to some of you…”

She trailed off then, her confidence dimming for a moment before I gave her hand another squeeze. She took a long, deep breath, letting it out again slowly before eventually continuing.

“Essentially, Martians are social creatures, just like humans, but our socialization includes mental communication. Without it we suffer… well in a similar way to how humans suffer from touch deprivation and prolonged isolation, though the symptoms can be more…  acute,” She explained, her words getting more and more confident as she talked, looking at each of her teammates. “The effects aren't fun, and before Warren agreed to help I was beginning to feel them. I was already becoming a bit… manic, obsessive.”

She took a breath, moving her utensils around with her mind, mentally fidgeting with her telekineses.

“We… I… Well, we are both worried that me being attached to just him, Bioship and occasionally my Uncle J’onn is… well the absolute minimum, and that it might poorly affect us and our relationship over time.”

As she talked I could see Kaldur and Robin realize what she wanted at almost the same time, Kyle following soon after. Wally and Tora were last, but not far behind Superboy.

“Your asking permission to connect to us as well,” Kaldur stated, M’gann nodding in confirmation.

“Yes, but not to the same depth as Warren. It's not uncommon for Martians to connect to their significant others to a much greater degree than others,” M’gann explained. “But…Yes, I would like permission to connect to your mind on the surface. It wouldn’t be deep enough to hear your thoughts, and it won't be quite like what I do to link us up to communicate telepathically.”

“Then what would it mean?” Robin asked seriously.

“It would mean I could feel your emotions to a degree, at least when you're here on base,” She explained, raising her hand to stop anyone from talking. “Before you say anything, it wouldn’t be much more than what someone who was good at reading expressions would get from seeing your face.”

“So you would not go any deeper than surface emotions?” Tora asked, chewing her lip. “You talked a bit about that when you explained your powers…”

“Yes, I wouldn’t go any deeper than that. I would have a general idea of how you feel, which would become more acute if I focused, but I would only do that if your emotions got intense, like really angry or scared,” She explained, still looking around at our friends. “I wouldn't feel anything beyond surface emotions unless you purposely pushed an emotion my way, which in and of itself would probably take training for you to be able to do. Your underlying emotions would be safe.”

As M’gann talked I watched the other members of the team, studying their faces as they listened. None of them looked outright disgusted or even disquieted, although Wally and Robin clearly weren't entirely comfortable with what M’gann was proposing.

“What's the difference?” Wally asked, his nervousness shifting slightly to curiosity. “Between underlying and surface?”

“... It's hard to describe to humans because you lack some of the sense Martians have, but surface emotions are… reactionary, in a way. Anger for dropping something, anxiety for doing something difficult, happiness for being given something,” She explained. “Underlying emotions are more self-generating. Things like recalling a memory, contemplating future actions, or even reacting to daydreams. They are more connected to conscious thought which is deeper in your psyche, meaning I would have to dig deeper to feel them, for lack of a better phrase.”

M’gann continued to explain how her abilities worked, doing her best to assure her friends and teammates that she wasn't looking to invade their privacy, but simply secure her mental health better.

“I think we understand how your powers work,” Robin eventually stated confidently. “How much would this actually help you?”

“I…I think it will help me ground myself better,” She explained after Robin asked his pointed question. “My connection with Warren has been amazingly helpful, I don’t know what I would be like without it. But it’s kind of the bare minimum. Being able to feel some of you would help me be a lot more comfortable here.”

The group shared some looks, everyone clearly thinking pretty hard about her request. I could pretty much tell that Wally wasn’t going to be up for it, or Robin for that matter, but…

“I would be okay with it,” Tora said, putting on a brave face. “As long as you keep it to yourself, and not share how I feel about anything, not even with Warren…”

“Yes, I could do that, unless I felt your life was genuinely in danger I would keep it to myself,” She said, before further explaining. “If I feel you in immense pain, or terrified for your life or something… I would have to tell someone… but-”

“I can accept that,” Tora responded with a small smile. “Alright, I give you my permission.”

“I do as well,” Kaldur said with a nod. “With the same considerations as Tora, I will gladly help.”

“Me too,” Kyle said, catching me off guard, as I thought his previous experiences with Cadmus would sour the idea pretty thoroughly for him. “I trust you, if you need help and say it won’t be too invasive then I believe you.”

Wally and Robin remained silent, the former awkwardly looking down while Robin just crossed his arms.

“Batman would disown me if he found out I willingly gave you permission for something like this,” He said, a bitter undertone barely detectable in his voice. “I wish I could help M’gann, I really do.”

Before Wally could say anything M’gann cut him off.

“You don’t need a reason, I totally understand that this is a big favor, I don’t blame either of you in the slightest for not being comfortable with the idea.” She said with a smile. “But thank you guys, this will really helpful. I’ve already set up the connection. As I said, I won’t be able to pick up underlying emotions, just surface ones.”

I could feel M’ganns happiness at the team's acceptance. The fact that they didn't shun her seemed to surprise her, despite the reassurances I had given her. I mentally hugged her, giving her hand another squeeze. Her eyes were a little teary, and I could feel her practically basking in their connection, and though I couldn’t feel it myself I couldn't help but smile.

“Thank you all s-so much,” She said. “I-I can feel it already, I had no idea how much I missed this…Thank you.”

We finished dinner after that, M’gann continuing her explanation as best as she could in simple human terms before the conversation turned to the day's training. Everyone seemed to agree, the Colonel knew what he was doing and would be a great instructor.

Eventually, when everyone was done Wally explained that he had to leave. M’gann wrapped up the leftover lasagna for him, which he gratefully accepted. As he walked out of the living space I kissed M’gann on the cheek and followed after him.

“Wally, hold up,” I called out, the speedster already waiting by the Zeta-Tube.

He turned to look at me, before tapping on the Zeta Tubes computer, the sound of power build-up slowly fading as it spun back down.

“What's up?” He asked as I got closer.

“C’mon, sit with me for a bit, I have a few questions,” I said, making my way to the nearest bench.

The speedster slumped but nodded, following me and putting the tray of lasagna on the bench before sitting down next to it. He looked a little nervous but waited for me to start silently.

“So, I’ve noticed some things over the last few weeks,” I started, Wally almost flinching in response. “You eat a lot, like two or three times as much as a guy your age should. And since you're not the size of a small car, I have to assume you're burning it off somehow. I’ve also noticed you're a bit sensitive about your speed…”

As I talked, for a moment, I thought that he was going to respond in annoyance, maybe even explode a bit. But instead, by the time I finished he let out a long sigh and nodded.

“I… need a lot of calories to function,” He explained, starting slowly before continuing. “So you know that I replicated Flash’s experiment to get my powers? Well, the version I got is… inferior. I’m not nearly as fast, whatever energy we tap into that lets us move like we do… it doesn’t permeate my body completely like it does Un- the Flash’s. I also have to eat a ridiculous amount to keep up. The League helps by supplying calorie-dense food at home, otherwise, I would have bankrupted my parents…”

“I assume you’ve tried to figure out why?”

“Of course! A day and a half after I got my powers I looked like a skeleton, I almost died from starvation in my sleep!” He said, his emotions spiking. “I spent two weeks in a Star Labs facility, running every test and scan imaginable. They could tell the energy source we tap into is the same, but that the Flash gets more, and he uses it a lot more efficiently. It's like he is a fine-tuned sports car and I'm a gas-guzzling sedan. The energy doesn’t saturate my whole body, and I barely get two-thirds of the amount.”

He raised his hand and moved, his hand vibrating in place, a red blur that my eyes couldn’t track properly. He stopped after a moment, shaking his head.

“At first I didn’t care. I mean I had superpowers for fucks sake, who cares if I have to eat a bit more or if they aren't as powerful as one of the most powerful superheroes alive?”

He stopped, shaking his head. I got the feeling he was expecting to have this conversation at some point and thus had thought out what he was going to say. He still clearly hated having it though.

“But… honestly it sucks. I wouldn’t give up my powers for anything, but the constant, never-ending hunger…. Even right now I want to shovel this lasagna into my mouth like a madman. And constantly being compared to Flash, getting asked over and over when I will get as fast as him… It grates on me. It's why I get a bit sensitive about my speed.”

“Fuck… I had no idea,” I admitted. “I figured there was something but…”

“I don’t need your pity,” He responded, though he sounded more tired than annoyed or frustrated.

I was silent for a long moment after that. How could I respond to a statement like that without expressing pity?

“I Appreciate you explaining it to me, it can't be a fun story to tell.” I said eventually.

“It sucks, but it’s something you should know as one of our leaders. Feel free to fill M’gann, Tora, and Superboy in. The fewer times I need to explain this personally, the better.”

And with that he stood up, grabbed the tray of Lasagna, and left, stepping into the Zeta-Tube after it finished spinning up, disappearing in a flash of light.

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The next two days went by pretty quickly all things considered. Wally didn’t mention our conversation the next day, or the following, and I figured that was for the best. There was nothing I could do about his condition at this point, though that wouldn't prevent me from keeping my eyes open. Maybe it was a bit egotistical to think that I would stumble onto a solution after the League and Star Labs had already tried their best, but I knew that a new set of eyes could make all the difference in the world.

M’gann was ecstatic that so many of her friends had accepted her favor, and I could feel how much more relaxed she was getting over time. It hadn’t really been obvious before, but there had been a certain tension in her that I could feel through our connection. I wasn't sure at first, but now I recognized it as having been even worse when she first connected to me. Now, however, the tension was slowly fading even more, her new network of friends making it even easier for her to feel comfortable.

Hopefully, that level of comfort would help her open up a bit more about her appearance. For now, though, all that mattered was that she was happy, and any issues she was having from living on Earth were fading into nothing.

Each day we did morning routines, including sparing and our workout. Kaldur and I decided that it was time to start pushing our limits a bit more, and we started sharing notes on everyone's relative weak spots, at least the ones we could help with. We noted that Superboy was struggling to smoothly switch between his new powers, though that was probably something that would be easy to solve with time and practice. During the room-clearing practice, Kaldur and I both noticed that Robin and Wally needed to work on their callouts. They tended to default to “I got it!” or worse, silence when they saw something they needed to do.

Tora, our newest member, was working her way up to hero fitness standards, not that she was far off. Beyond that, she needed to work on her unconscious power use. When she was startled or reacting instinctively to something, she tended to over-freeze things to a ridiculous degree. She spent a while defrosting half the shoot room when Wally jump-scared her after we had finished a run. I was just glad Wally was quick enough to avoid the blast of energy.

I wasn’t immune to these shortcomings either, as we were finding out during the breach and clear runs. When I was sufficiently startled I would occasionally forget my abilities even existed, a symptom of my relative inexperience, as well as the fact that I wasn't born this strong, fast, or with the ability to earthbend. It was an odd dichotomy to earlier, when my earthbending seemed to be begging to be let out. I remember almost slamming Batman with a chunk of stone when he had snuck up on me not too long ago. I would have to ask Toph about it.

These problems weren’t our only shortcomings, but most of the rest were due to inexperience and low skill, both of which we were working on. Everyone was working hard, and everyone took Kaldur and my suggestions well.

Beyond group training and exercise, I spent a huge amount of time playing the meteor metal. By the end of the second day, I was usually able to form rough shapes from it, though nothing as fluid as what I had seen was possible. My metal bending still showed all of the signs of brutal impurity manipulation. Still, I was determined to master metalbending as much, or even more than earthbending.

My goal was to be good enough at metal shaping to replace the pieces connected to my uniform, as well as the metal cables and my shield with identical-looking pieces of meteorite metal. Then it would just be a matter of mastering the cables themselves.

I was practicing with said cables at the end of the second day when our Zeta-Tube flared and Batman stepped into the cave. He spotted me and gave me a single nod.

“Gather the team. You have a mission.”