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Sorry, folks. These emojis stay on unless you subscribe to my burlesque subscription tier (coming soon!), which— yes, also involves foot porn. 🦶🦶

BTW, this post is a tribute to my childhood crush, Stripping Soccer Samantha. ⚽️⚽️

If you don’t know what I’m talk about, you should probably go listen to my “Lesbian Confessions” series, which can be found in the “Talking to myself in the car” collection. 🤓🚘

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Comments

Christopher Russell

I can't speak for anybody else, but I'm really only here for "The Adventures of Soccer Samantha and Flannel Francesca".

Tom H

Glad to know those are emojis and not the worst implants ever.