Emily Goes to College - Chapter 11 (Patreon)

Angel's heart raced as she stood in the elevator, wiggling in place, listening to her double diaper crinkling in the tiny, empty space. It was still hard to believe she'd let Emily talk her into that... Or into any of this, really.

She had always felt so weird, so alone. She'd never particularly liked kids, so the idea of babysitting hadn't crossed her mind, and she kept her distance from any younger siblings her friends had, especially when they were young enough to need diapers, so - at least to her memory, since she'd forgotten being a toddler herself - she hadn't encountered diapers directly until her brother, Wallace, was born.

She'd known right away that something was wrong with her. The sound they made as she held them, the way her finger sank into the soft padding ever so slightly... It had been a struggle to listen to her mother as she taught her how to change Wally, in case Angel had to do it on her own at some point. Even then, she'd had the thought, wondering what it would be like to wear one herself, and immediately did her best to banish it.

Her friends, of course, all wanted to come over and see the new baby, and coo over him, most of them reminiscing about when their younger siblings were so cute, and not the brats they had become after growing bigger, getting potty trained. "That's where it always goes wrong," Adrianne, the oldest of them, had mused. "You should keep him in diapers as long as you can... Once he gets out, he'll think he's a big boy, and that he knows better than his older sister."

Angel had let out an awkward laugh, just a little too loud. "Y-Yeah, I'll do that." She'd blushed, squirmed, feeling like all her friends were staring at her, like they knew what she'd dreamed of doing. She wanted, so badly, to ask them - trying to play it off as a joke - whether they'd ever thought about 'borrowing' one of their siblings diapers, once they got bigger, and wore some that might be large enough, but, especially after that, she didn't trust herself not to make it obvious how desperate she was to do exactly that herself.

So she'd stayed quiet about it, kept it to herself, tried to forget about it altogether. It worked all right for a while, until she'd gotten home from school one day and found the house empty, her mom having taken Wally to a doctor's appointment, according to the note on the fridge. Angel had stood there in the kitchen, staring at the note board stuck there, nervously nibbling her lip. Her dad wouldn't be done with work for hours... She had the house to herself until her mom got home.

It wasn't enough time to throw a party, or do anything too crazy; she told herself that was why her mind had skipped over those possibilities immediately, had instead gone to visiting Wally's room. Theoretically, it shouldn't have mattered if he was there or not... He wasn't talking yet at that point, so he wouldn't tell anyone, and even if he had, people would probably assume, if he mentioned his sister checking out the diaper stash under his changing table, that she was getting ready to change him, or making sure they didn't need to restock at the store. Or she could have done it while he was taking a nap.

But him being in there at all made her too self-conscious to even approach the changing table, unless she had to use it for him. Whether he knew, or understood, what she was doing or not, it seemed wrong. This day, however, she didn't have to worry about it... That didn't stop her from standing, waiting, in the doorway, for what felt like too long, psyching herself up, telling herself that her parents didn't keep an obsessive count of how many diapers were left, that she could claim, if they did notice one missing, she'd changed Wally for them at some point.

She'd taken a deep breath, like she was preparing to dive underwater, and stepped in, feeling the urge to hurry now, as if her mother was going to be home any minute. It was possible... As unlikely as it was, she could have gotten in early, or Wally could be so healthy that the doctor had run out of things to check him for. All she needed to do was grab a diaper and get out of there, get it back to her room, and then, that night, when she was all alone, she could finally try it out.

She had known, as soon as she picked it up, that it was surely going to be too small. She'd known, really, even before that, when she actually thought about it in more than an abstract, fantasy way, considering how little Wally was in comparison to her. But the sides of the diapers always seemed so stretchy... You never knew...

She'd barely been able to eat that night, from a combination of eagerness to get to her room, and anxiety that this would be the day when, out of nowhere, her parents would decide they needed to go investigate her room, search it for drugs or whatever, and find the diaper she'd hidden in her underwear drawer, beneath a stack of panties. 

If anything, that had just made her more suspicious. "Are you feeling okay?" her mother had asked. "You've barely touched your food."

"I'm fine," Angel had snapped back instantly. "I just... I-I have a lot of homework. I'd better go get to it."

She'd rushed off, back to her room, closing and locking the door behind her, praying that her sudden exit didn't prompt her parents to come check on her. She'd waited as long as she could, actually attempting to finish what homework she did have, until she couldn't resist it any more. She tip-toed over to her dresser, as if her parents would be able to hear her footsteps, as if they'd think it weird, otherwise, for her to get something out of one of her drawers, and took it out.

It was, maybe, a bit bigger than she'd remembered... Right? There could be a shot of it working on her after all... She'd taken off her jeans, her panties, setting them aside softly, opened up the diaper and laid it out on her bed, sitting down on it...

Of course, just as she'd assumed initially, before she'd allowed her hopes to get up, the diaper was much too small. She'd pouted, hating how disappointed she felt, and got up, resolving to never bother with that again.

But when Wally had to move up to the next size of diapers, she'd had to try, and, while they still weren't big enough, they were closer. If she could have waited long enough, surely it would have worked out... It was too bad, then, that she had to go off to college, where it was very possible she'd miss out altogether, that he'd get potty trained, and her parents would pass his spare diapers off to another family, before she was able to make it back, at least long enough for her to find an opportunity to try his newer diapers for herself.

And maybe that was for the best. She was an adult now, a college student, off on her own, kind of... She definitely didn't need diapers.

Or so she'd thought, until she'd found out Emily's secret... Until she'd seen the diapers in the garbage, until she'd caught a glimpse at the roller rink... Until she'd changed the girl at the mall, seen the diapers that she wore first-hand, unused. They felt so similar to Wally's, even better in some ways, maybe, and they were definitely big enough for Angel.

It had taken everything Angel had not to take Emily up on her offer right then and there. She'd wanted so very badly, after all this time, to try one out for herself, just once, just to see what it was like. But she couldn't let anyone know... 

Clearly, they made bigger diapers, one that were still cute, and soft, and lovely... She could have bought some for herself, though she hadn't known how she was going to keep them a secret from Charli, so she did her best to try to forget about them, to put all that off until she was out of college, had an apartment of her own...

Every time she saw Emily, however, those old thoughts kept coming back to her, stronger than ever. Every once in a while, she noticed a bulge, or spotted a hint of plastic peeking out from above the girl's waistband, but most of the time, she'd never have known, which made it so much more tempting to try it out herself. If she did it right, if she was careful, it could be her little secret...

But this wasn't like back home. She wasn't going to be able to just slip into Emily's room and borrow one of her diapers without her knowing. She probably did keep track of how many she had, since she had to keep herself stocked up. And her door room had a lock on it to keep her out when nobody was in there. 

She knew this had to be tough for Emily, that living with whatever condition she had couldn't have been easy; she felt guilty for how jealous she was of her, even if she was usually able to hide it.

Usually... Until the party... Until she'd had a little too much to drink, and Emily was there, encouraging her, feeding into what Angel had already wanted, so badly, to do...

It had been everything Angel had wanted it to be, had dreamed for so long that it would be. She'd told herself, after that night, that no matter how amazing it was, how it had made her feel, she would stop there, now that she knew, and, like she'd planned, wait until she was off on her own somewhere.

But... Emily didn't stop wearing diapers, couldn't stop. And every time Angel saw her now, she thought about doing it herself. It didn't help that Emily would drop hints to her, would try to get her to do it again. Angel hadn't intended on giving in, and yet, she just couldn't stop herself. If they had a chance, if Charli was off doing something else and out of the room, and Emily wanted her to...

It was for Emily, right? To make her feel better about her problem. She told herself that at first, anyway, even if she could never really convince herself of it. She'd wanted to do this well before she'd ever met Emily, much less before she'd known her secret. She could justify it all she wanted, but she knew, deep down, that she was doing it for herself.

Emily certainly didn't seem to mind, though. She was happy to have someone to share this with, and as long as she was okay with it, as she really did appear to be, Angel was glad to oblige. 

Having Emily there to guide her along was nice... She never would have known how tricky it might be to get the tapes back on after removing them to use the toilet without her guidance, which made it so much easier for her to convince herself to wet herself... And while she surely would have thought, eventually, to try doubling her diapers up, to give herself the same kind of waddle she remembered Wally having as he was learning to walk in them, she doubted she would have done it anywhere near as soon as this.

But as soon as Emily had suggested it, she'd known that she had to give it a shot. The idea of her padding being even bigger, even thicker, was irresistible... And it had been incredibly, toddling around the store that way, wondering if the worker knew, if she had been able to tell that, despite outward appearances, she was actually helping out two babies, and not just one and a babysitter.

Angel had spent so long thinking of herself as a big sister now, there was something nice about the thought of getting to go back to being a little girl. And there were definitely times, like now, that she felt like that was what she was, as the elevator lurched to a stop, the doors opening, letting on a guy and a girl. Her cheeks began to glow as they stepped in and she froze, hoping they wouldn't notice, wouldn't see the bulge of her diaper.

They looked so much more mature than her, so grown-up in comparison... She felt herself begin to squirm, then made herself stop, afraid they'd hear her crinkling if she moved too much. Thankfully, they didn't pay her any attention at all as they continued to chat to one another. She snuck a peak at them, biting down on her bottom lip mischievously. She had a few more floors to go... Probably, they'd get off before her... Right? She might have time, before they left, though...

It was getting easier to wet herself each time she did it, like it was a skill she'd had long ago and almost forgotten about. She'd thought the first time was a fluke, that she'd get used to it, but it was still new enough that every time she felt it start, felt that warmth spreading through the padding, it sent a rush through her. And this time, tucked away in the corner of the elevator, real adults mere inches away, unaware of what she was doing, made it more thrilling than ever.

The elevator stopped again, the doors opening. Nobody got on, and the pair stayed put. It took a moment or two for Angel to put it together, for big girl thoughts to break through the haze, to make her realize that it was her stop. Her cheeks began to glow extra bright, thinking of toddling past them now, after what she'd just done, and she considered pretending that she wasn't trying to go there, that somebody must have pressed the button as a prank... But what would she do then? Was she going to keep riding the elevator up and down until she was able to get out on her own, praying that people would stop using it long enough for her to escape? Or did she want them to keep coming on, keeping her trapped, too bashful to leave, slowly dribbling more and more into her double diapers...

Or, perhaps, eventually, doing something more. Just thinking about that made her feel even more shy, even more embarrassed, as the pair turned to look at her, like they could tell what was going on in her head.

"Is this your stop?" the girl asked gently.

"I-I..." Angel stammered, starting to shake her head. The girl's eyes moved downwards, from Angel's face to the hamper sitting at her feet, making it obvious that this was, indeed, her destination. "Y-Yeah, sorry," she nodded, making herself step forward, feeling like they must be staring at her diaper bulge as she walked past them, like they must hear how loudly she was crinkling as she made her way out of the elevator.

Maybe this was a mistake... As soon as Emily had given her panties back, gone on to her floor, all Angel had wanted to do was take those underwear and throw them away, leave her no choice other than to keep wearing her diaper. That was definitely too extreme... But she had come up with another solution.

She had been needing to do laundry anyway, had been putting it off for too long. She had a few more pairs of underwear left, though it was simple enough to scoop them out of her drawer, toss them into her hamper, along with the pair Emily had returned to her. They were probably fine, sitting on top of the rest of her clothes. At the top of the pile, however, they were the first ones to go into the washing machine, the first ones to get soaked, in a different way than she had been soaking her diapers lately. 

It was only temporary, but, until her laundry was done, and dried, she now had no choice other than to wear her diapers... Just like Emily.