Emily Goes to College - Chapter 4 (Patreon)

"Wait, what is this for?" Emily frowned, looking at the small, wrapped box Lainey had handed her.

Lainey blushed slightly, giving a bit of a shrug. "Oh, nothing," she replied. "I just thought you'd like them."

"Them?" Curiously, Emily ripped open the paper, opened up the box inside to find a pair of earrings, shaped like bows. "Adorable!" she smiled.

Lainey seemed strangely relieved, as if she hadn't believed Emily would agree, though why she cared so much, Emily couldn't say. If anything, Emily should be scared of her... And, while she wouldn't exactly call it fear, she did find the other girl more intimidating now, in a way, knowing she was aware of her secret... Her secret that had become all the more embarrassing since that discovery.

She hadn't planned it that way, had never intended to take it so far, but once she began, it was hard to stop. She might almost call it addicting, as silly as it sounded, comparing it to the kind of thing most people got addicted to. It wasn't an inaccurate statement, however, no matter how absurd the idea was, much less the mental image of standing up in front of a bunch of people and confessing, "My name is Emily, and I'm addicted to messing my diapers."

It wasn't like she was doing anything to make it happen more often, or seeking it out in any way... She did enjoy it a lot, though, look forward to it... She even found herself choosing to use her pants rather than a toilet, when she had the option, destroying any conception she might have had that her main enjoyment came from not having to worry about getting her diapers off and then back on.

She could be in a soaked diaper, and ready for a fresh one anyway, and decide to poop her Pampers before getting changed, instead of taking the opportunity to hop on the toilet while she was in the bathroom already. Or, if she had stripped down to take a shower, and felt a fullness in her tummy, she still refused the potty, holding it until she was cleaned up and back in diapers, like a stubborn toddler who wouldn't let herself get potty trained, no matter what her parents bribed her with, even though she was fully capable of it.

The latter didn't happen terribly often, to be fair. It was a conundrum, one she suspected not many college students were faced with... She loved the act of messing herself, the way it made her feel, the sound of the diaper crackling as it swelled... And doing it at school only amplified that, made it that much more embarrassing, and thrilling, and childish, and naughty, and easier to dispose of the evidence afterwards...

The clean-up was not fun, however, especially not while jammed into a bathroom stall. It might be easier, back at the house, but the other girls would definitely get suspicious if she was in the bathroom that long consistently, and the trash can started to fill up even more quickly. So, as inconvenient as it was, she mostly did it at school.

Still, considering the way it had began, she couldn't help but associate the act with Lainey. She had a feeling the girl would not love that, if she'd had the guts to tell her; there wasn't anything she could do about the way her brain worked, though, the connections it made. The sight of Lainey made her think of being caught, which prompted her to give the thing she'd been putting off, avoiding, scared of, for so long a try.

So, in a way, it felt like the gift was because of that, a celebration of her embracing her diapers fully. The cuteness of the earrings didn't do much to disprove that, nor did the explanation Emily had to give for why she didn't put them on. "I, uh... I don't have my ears pierced."

"Wait, you don't?" Lainey frowned, squinting her eyes at Emily's ears, while Emily self-consciously fidgeted. "How did I never realize that? I'm so sorry..."

"No, no, it's fine," Emily assured her. "It's a natural assumption to make."

Lainey still looked upset at herself, until her eyes lit up. "I could take you to get them pierced!" she suggested. "That would be fun!"

It might be, and Emily wouldn't have minded having it done... But she'd always been too intimidated by the thought of it, and that hadn't changed now. She knew there were plenty of young kids who did it, no problem, so she should be fine. She hadn't worked up the courage before, and she definitely wasn't going to now that she could use the excuse - mentally, anyway, since she would never do it out loud, certainly not to Lainey - that she was still in diapers, so she was clearly too little.

"Maybe," she offered instead, with no intention of ever following through on it.

Lainey was persistent, however, ready to take her to the mall any time it seemed like she had a spare minute. It was only as the end of summer encroached upon them, and the housemates all decided to celebrate at the local roller rink, that it finally dawned on Emily why.

Emily usually hung out at the back of their group, content to observe the other girls. They were mostly the same age, but she always felt like a younger sister to all of them, impressed by them, wanting to prove she could fit in and be just as cool, yet terrified she would fail if she tried. It was the reason she'd been hesitant to come with them, though they refused to give her a choice in the matter when she attempted to back out.

Lainey slid into line before her as she approached the counter. "Two, please," Lainey told the girl behind the counter. "And two skate rentals, too. What size do you wear?"

"I can pay for myself," Emily insisted. "You don't have to..."

"No, I don't mind," Lainey replied. "What size?"

"I don't even know if I want to," Emily blushed self-consciously. "I've never..."

"It's easy," Lainey promised. "We'll show you the ropes."

Lainey had never been mean, at least not to Emily, but she'd also not been so generous before, so intent on doing things for her. Given the timing, there was no way it wasn't connected to her finding out about Emily's diapers.

"Hey," Emily spoke up as they walked over to the seats the others had already claimed, where they were putting on their own skates, "you know, I'm not mad at you or whatever. You don't have to do all this."

Lainey's cheeks flushed, as if she were the one who had been caught in a leaky diaper, inches away from the toilet where she should have been peeing, if she were truly a mature young adult. "I know. I just feel bad. I should have respected your privacy, and... I'm really sorry about your... condition. That must be tough." 

Her 'condition', huh? What had Kayla told her? Or had Kayla said nothing, and left it up to her imagination? Obviously, it wasn't normal for somebody her age to be in diapers, much less to need them as much as she had seemed to demonstrate she did, so it was probably best to let her assume that was the explanation...

"You get used to it," she responded strategically. "It's not your fault... I appreciate that you wanted to look out for me. I just wish there had been a lock on the door."

"Yeah, wouldn't that have been nice?" Lainey chuckled wryly. "If you ever need anything, though, you can ask me, okay?"

"Okay," Emily smiled and gave her a hug. "Thank you."

Lainey helped her get her skates on, and stand in them, showing her some of the basics. It wasn't quite as difficult as Emily had feared, although there were several times she was grateful for the extra padding she was wearing under her shorts, and to have Lainey and Kayla around to give her a hand when she had to stand back up.

She didn't want to monopolize all of their time at the rink, so she sent them off when she thought she had the hang of it well enough. "I'll be fine," she said. "Go do your own thing, I've got this. I'll just stay over here, where I've got something to hold onto."

And that's what she did, clinging to the rail for the most part, blushing anytime someone zoomed by her, especially since they mostly seemed to be younger than her, and she could hear them giggling and had to assume it was at her, making her self-consciously tug at her shorts to be sure they hadn't slid down. As far as she could tell, they kept her diaper covered, so if she was the object of ridicule, it was purely because of what a clumsy little dork she was, compared to these high and middle schoolers... How much worse would it be if they knew the truth, if they were aware that she was in a soggy diaper, too, on top of barely being able to stay on her feet?

She stuck with it, though, until the other girls decided it was time to eat, coming to collect her and go with her to the snack bar go get some junk. She knew it wasn't a great idea to eat too much of it, but this had been a bit of a workout, and it had been pretty fun, and everything sounded so good... Plus, since Lainey had paid for everything else, she had plenty of money for snacks.

So it wasn't a huge shock when her stomach began to hurt when they returned to the rink one last time before they headed home. She knew she'd overdone it, she just didn't think it would be that big of a deal, even after the rumbling began to get louder, not until she dared to let go of the rail around the rink and skate by herself, and, of course, fell flat on her bottom.

"No, I got it!" she told Kayla and Lainey, seeing them approach, concerned. She leaned forward, getting her hands under her, pushing herself into a squat...

And then it happened. It was hard to say if it was thanks to all the greasy, fatty foods she'd gobbled down, or if her body was just getting too used to the feeling of doing this in her diaper, if it was starting to find it natural. She hadn't meant to do it right now, by any means, though that didn't matter in the moment as she froze there, eyes wide as she felt her pants begin to fill, as she saw the confused look on Kayla's face, and then the flash of recognition. She was mortified, certain her roommate knew exactly what was happening, with Lainey's revelation coming only a few moments later, after a bit more involuntary grunting from Emily.

"Oh, sweetie," Lainey cooed. "Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah," Emily stammered uncertainly, happy to accept their help now, stumbling awkwardly to her feet, wiggling her mushy bottom in disbelief.

"You have a change, right?" Kayla asked, and Emily nodded.

"I'll run interference with the others," Lainey volunteered, racing off to intercept them, while Kayla accompanied Emily into the bathroom.

It was inevitable, Emily supposed, that Kayla would find out soon enough, if she kept it up... That didn't make it any less embarrassing, trudging to the restroom by her roommate's side, load in her pants, having just finished making it right in front of her. It was a strange dichotomy... She enjoyed this, and she trusted Kayla, yet she hadn't really wanted her to know, to find out that she was this babyish.

"I'll keep watch," Kayla promised. "Unless you need help?"

"No!" Emily squealed. "Y-You don't hafta do that..."

Kayla nodded, letting Emily retreat into one of the stalls, grateful none of the others were occupied, that they were alone, at least until Kayla took advantage of their privacy to ask, sounding very concerned, "So, is your condition getting worse?"

What was Emily meant to do? If she said no, she'd have to come up with another explanation for why she'd done it, and she had none of those, nothing to justify what she'd done. "Y-Yeah," she mumbled. "I guess I should have told you... I-I understand if you don't want to room with me next semester after all, and..."

"Hey," Kayla cut her off. "You're stuck with me until the end, Emily. I know it's not your fault. I wish you would have said something, but I get why you wouldn't. You don't have to be embarrassed, though, not with me. Okay?"

Emily stepped out of the stall bashfully and nodded, throwing away her used diaper and washing her hands before accepting a hug from Kayla, praying the other girl couldn't feel how hard her heart was beating, couldn't sense her excitement over what this meant. She hadn't intended it, but she'd just gotten permission to keep fueling her addiction, to stop worrying about trying to keep it a secret... She knew she probably shouldn't, that she should take it easy, yet, just like at the snack bar, she knew she wasn't going to be able to resist.