Star Destroyer (Patreon)

A short story, commissioned by an anonymous Patron.

Emma paused for a moment, nibbling her lip as her fingers stopped short, centimeters away, but not quite there. What was she doing?! She was in her twenties - and not even just a couple years now - so she was well and truly an adult... This was definitely not something an adult ought to do, to want to do...

It wasn't the first time she'd had those thoughts, not by a long shot. It wasn't every day, if only because there were days when she had too many other things to worry about, so she couldn't quite work in time to fret over this; it was often enough to feel like a close companion, though, one that had been with her longer, and more consistently, than anyone in her life outside of her family.

There were moments when she wished she could talk to her family about this, but that was the whole issue, wasn't it? This was weird, and she was weird for doing it, and she didn't want them to know about that, to judge her for it for the rest of her life. Sometimes, she wondered if it was straight-up wrong in some way, if it was a sign that something about her, deep down, was messed up, broken. That certainly wouldn't be the only thing that was... 

"Everything all right, little star destroyer?" he asked gently, stepping in behind her, kissing her on the top of her strawberry blonde head. 

Emma smiled softly, tilting her head up to get a kiss on her lips, too, staring up at her far taller - like pretty much everyone else - boyfriend. "No," she fibbed. "I'm all right."

He gave her a look that made her squirm, immediately feeling like a naughty little girl for telling a lie, however benign, and getting caught. "Really?" he raised an eyebrow.

How was it possible for him to bring this all up in her so easily, to transform her into a silly toddler with just a few words and a look? He was bigger than her, sure, but she was a couple months older than him, so that ought to balance things out a little, and yet it didn't, not one bit. 

"Are you telling the truth, Emma?" he asked.

"No, sir," she shook her head, letting it hang in shame. "I-I'm sorry..."

"Well, there's only one way to deal with liars," he told her sternly, brushing past her stalled hand, letting his fingers close around the diaper instead, the sound of crinkling sending a shiver down Emma's spine as he picked it up, gave it a squeeze.

"But, Daddy!" she pouted, giving her foot a playful stomp, practically feeling herself regressing at the very sight of the thing. It was so big, so bulky... It was a deep purple, with cutesy aliens and astronauts floating around on the landing strip for the tapes, and a field of stars on the crotch that she knew from experience would fade when wet. "I'm a big girl!"

"Big girls tell their Daddies the truth," he shrugged, opening the diaper with a snap, laying it out on the bed. "And since you didn't do that, you need to go back to diapers."

He knelt down, starting to reach for the waistband of her shorts, to start to unbutton them, but Emma shook her head, stepping away. "No," she said quietly, the spell suddenly broken, for reasons she couldn't fully explain. "I don't need them..."

To his credit, he could see right away that this wasn't a part of the game. "I know you don't," he brushed her hair out of her face. 

"Then... Why do I want to wear them?" she demanded, cheeks almost as red as her hair. "This is so weird, and gross, and wasteful... And I have more important things I should be doing!"

He sat down on the edge of the bed patiently. "Like what?" he asked.

She glared at him. "I don't know! I should be cleaning stuff up around here so I'm not leaving you with a dirty apartment to deal with, or working, or..."

"You have the week off," he reminded her. "And your boss specifically told you she didn't want you worrying about anything while..."

"Then I should have a side hustle or something!" she shot back. "Or a hobby! Something useful, instead of spending my free time like this!" She swatted the waiting diaper, the crinkling sound bringing up a sensation of disgust this time. "Or this should be something sexy, something you can really enjoy, that isn't just for me... I'm so selfish, and..."

"Hey," he interrupted her sternly. "I do enjoy this, and it isn't selfish."

"No, you don't," she sulked. "I introduced you to this... You wouldn't care about it one bit if it wasn't for me. I make you look after me, and cook for me, and change me, and..."

"You don't make me do anything," he shook his head. "I choose to do all of that, and I love every second of it. Do you know why?"

She scowled, knowing what he wanted her to say, but not ready to do it yet. "Because you want to make me happy," she said instead.

"It's a nice side benefit," he admitted, "but no. We get by perfectly fine without you needing a second job, and you have plenty of hobbies... You love to color, and play with your dolls, and..."

"That's baby stuff!" she protested. "Babies can do that... I'm a grown-up, I should be doing something more than that!"

"Why?" he countered.

"B-Because I'm a grown-up," she repeated, the question, simple as it was, throwing her off for a moment. "Everybody else has outgrown it, so I should have, too."

"And maybe you will, some day," he acknowledged. "But just because everybody else has, doesn't mean you have to. You've had a lot to deal with, Emma... You're allowed to have something that lets you forget about all the stress, and all the worry, for a while..."

"But the apartment is a mess," she sniffed. 

"I live here, too," he shrugged. 

"Most of it is my toys," she said. "And I'm not going to be here for... Who knows how long?"

"I'm sure it'll be quick and easy," he reassured her, giving her arm a rub.

"A-And if it isn't?" she glanced up at him, her eyes looking so wide, so innocent, so scared peeking through her hair, drifted back over her face in the heat of their argument. She wasn't sure what she had to be afraid of that she hadn't dealt with a hundred times... She'd been in and out of hospitals her whole life, and this stay shouldn't be that serious... And yet, every time, on the night before, it came bubbling up...

"Then you'll stay a couple of extra days, and the doctors will take care of you," he smiled. "And then you'll come home, and I'll take care of you."

"B-But I don't want you to have to..." she started.

"Emma," he took her by the arms, turning her gently to make her look him in the eyes. "You're right that I probably would never have known about this if you hadn't shown it to me... And I know that I wasn't that good at it when I started..."

She giggled a bit, despite herself, recalling the first time he'd attempted to put her in a diaper, how he hadn't even been able to tell which side was the front, how, after she'd straightened that out, he'd put it on her so loosely that it had almost fallen off her when she stood up. He couldn't resist, trailing his fingers away from her arm, over to her tummy, giving it a tickle to get a few more laughs out of her.

"I do like it now," he promised. "I love getting to look after you, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I get plenty out of it, no matter how much work it can be sometimes... Trust me. You have nothing to be ashamed of."

"Really?" she blinked up at him.

"Really," he nodded, his hand moving again, this time going downwards, back to the waistband of her shorts. "Now, I think Daddy's little star destroyer has been out of her diapers for far too long... I wouldn't want her to have an accident..."

She hesitated, starting to reach towards him, to stop him, then smiled. "Okay," she said. "If you think that's for the best... I'll do whatever you say, Daddy... You're my sun and moon."

He smiled back, sliding her shorts and panties down, then picking her up, setting her down on the waiting diaper, powdering her up, taping it up nice and snug, in the way that only he could... Once she'd taught him that was the proper way to do it. 

"Come on," he held out his hand, and she took it, toddling along beside him, feeling so tiny and helpless at his side, as he intentionally took small steps so her waddling gait could keep up with his. He opened up her closet, then shut it again, leading her to the laundry room, the living room, and finally into the kitchen. "There it is!" he declared, plucking her favorite stuffed animal, an old, battered Kirby, faded from years of going with her everywhere when she was a child before being stuffed in the closet and forgotten until she became a teenager, and she'd started finding those diaper websites online... 

He put the toy in her arms, and she gave it a hug, instantly feeling better to have it, and to know that he'd known that was what she needed. She toddled after him back to the bedroom curiously. "Now, then, star destroyer," he teased, picking up her vibrator, "do you want to have a little fun?"

She nodded eagerly, living up to her name as a pleasant warmth began to fill her diapers, making the stars start to fade, feeling safe and happy and content as she stared up at her sun and her moon, wiggling with excitement as she gave her stuffie another squeeze.