Derrick's Awakening - Chapter 2 (Patreon)

"Oh, hi, Derrick," Mrs. Holland waved. 

Derrick froze instantly, his cheeks blazing bright red. Did she know?! She must... It wasn't a formal business, as far as Derrick knew, but all the babysitting the woman did was for the sake of warning money - and helping out her neighbors, too, since she was probably cheaper than a daycare - so surely she kept track of her inventory, had been able to tell that she had one less diaper than she ought to, after his late night visit...

Did she know why? Did she know what he'd done with it? As embarrassing as it was to think about, that part was likely just as obvious... He had no younger siblings he might have taken it to, and there were definitely no children he was sharing his apartment with... Who else would need it, except for him?

He still remembered how it felt, held the memory close to his heart, of getting home that night, sneaking past his roommate playing video games in the living room, rushing to his bedroom to take out the diaper, tossing it onto his bed.

It had looked, simultaneously, bigger and smaller than he'd thought when he'd spotted it on the counter and made the decision to do this. Lying there, in the middle of his bed, like a spot of childhood in the center of the maturity of his first apartment, it almost seemed to be in danger of being swallowed up and vanishing... And yet, if his roomie had opened the door then - if he hadn't locked it - he would have been horrified, wouldn't have known what he could quickly hide it with.

In his mind, he compared it to his underwear, which he'd certainly seen in this same situation, draped across his bed after he'd dumped out his laundry hamper, before he'd worked up the energy to fold them. They'd been larger than this, hadn't they? So the whole heist had been for nothing, the diaper, of course, too tiny for a grown man like him?

His underwear were also more flexible, he reminded himself, just cloth and not plastic and padding... Until he folded them, after which they went straight into the drawer, they tended to be spread out more, landing in odd orientations, not neatly folded exactly in half...

He hadn't planned to try it right then - or, possibly, ever - but he couldn't help himself. He had to know if he'd betrayed Mrs. Holland's trust in him, if he'd made that seemingly eternal ride back to his car, and time standing around watching the woman hook up the jumper cables, more stressful on himself for no reason.

Glancing back at the door to double check that it was, indeed, locked, he kicked off his shoes, slid out of his pants, his underwear, leaving them in a pile on the floor, then froze, nibbling his bottom lip for a second, hesitating. He unbuttoned his dress shirt, too, his resolve wavering, reasoning that he'd look silly in that and a diaper, as if he wouldn't look ridiculous no matter what, if this even worked.

Down to his undershirt, he had nothing else to take off, nothing else to distract himself with... It was the moment of truth. He reached forward, picking up the diaper, starting to unfold it, shocked at how big it appeared when he did it. It was made differently from his underwear, of course, not attached at the waist yet, though, seeing it like that, the idea that it really might fit began to seem more real...

No, that was crazy... He was an adult! He hadn't gotten any taller in years, and, sure, he'd stopped short of almost all of his friends, including Malory, and the other girls he hung out with, but there was no way he was small enough to fit into a diaper meant for a baby, or a toddler at best...

He hadn't realized he was holding his breath as he stared down at the garment until he let it out while he set the diaper down on his bed. He felt a little lost as to what he was supposed to do, how to put it onto himself - or anyone else, for that matter, since he'd seen someone else do that at some point tin the past, but not paid that much attention to it - though that seemed like a good first step.

He turned around, slowly lowering himself onto it, as if he was afraid he would miss his target if he went too quickly, glad that he was alone when he heard the noise that came from his mouth when his backside touched it, when he felt the soft cushion of the padding for the first time... Or, at least, the first time he could consciously remember. It felt so familiar, however, so right... Especially when he kept going, heard the muffled crinkle that came when his weight settled onto it fully.

He'd known, immediately, that it was going to work. As he wiggled his bottom, he could feel it there, all around him, exactly the right size... If he kept going, he would be wearing a diaper... And not just any diaper, a baby diaper, a Pamper... His mind reeled, all his assumptions about how grown-up he actually was flying out the window...

Of course, nobody was forcing him to do this. He could stop at any moment, throw it away, pretend it had never happened... But he knew there was no chance of that. No matter what it said about him, what it proved about his immaturity, there was no going back, not until this was finished...

And he might be wrong. Just because he could sit on it without his body being too large for it didn't mean the rest of it would fit him correctly. The only way to know that for certain was to keep at it, to reach forward and pull the front up, between his legs, another whimper of surprise and happiness emanating from him at the sensation of the diaper brushing against his thighs, pushing them apart ever so slightly as he folded it forward, over his crotch, and saw that, yes, indeed, it stretched up to the bottom of his tummy, right where it should be,

It still wasn't properly on him, though. For that, he had to grab one of the sides, fumbling with shaking hands to peel the tape off, to pull it snug and push it against the landing strip on the front, where it clung tightly, as if it didn't want to let go, as if it knew the truth about him, whether he was ready to fully embrace it or not.

The other side was the real test, he told himself. One side fastening didn't indicate much on its own... If the other side didn't reach, then the diaper still didn't actually fit. And, for a moment, he thought that was what was going to happen, as he tugged on the other wing, and it seemed to come up short, not quite making it to the landing strip.

He wasn't sure how he felt about that, if he was glad to see he wasn't that little, that much like a baby, or if he was disappointed to have gotten this close, just to fail at the last second. Looking at the first tape, however, it did appear to be stretched pretty far, his efforts to get it tight perhaps a touch over-zealous, maybe thanks to some half-overheard advice on the matter he'd picked up on from a conversation between Malory and her mom.

He'd pulled the first tape back up, moving it over and re-sticking it, then tried the other side once more... And that was that. There was no more questioning it, no room for interpretation, no denying it... He was well and truly Pampered, sitting there on his bed, stunned. 

And, to add to the absurdity of the situation... He liked it. He liked feeling the bulk of the padding as he fidgeted, bottom shifting back and forth against his covers, knowing there was no getting away from it. He liked hearing the crackle of plastic, reminding him of his protection, even if he somehow didn't notice the thickness between his legs. He liked the thought that, no matter how old he was, how many adult things he did on a daily basis - working his job, paying his rent, going grocery shopping - deep down, it was obvious that he was still a baby... If he wasn't, how could he have fit into this thing so easily, so perfectly, as if it were made for him?

He hadn't been able to bear the thought of taking it off so soon, despite having to get to bed so he could wake up for work the next morning, so, against his better judgement, he'd pulled his pajama pants up over it, butterflies erupting in his stomach as he looked at the bulge they left, making him look almost more like a little boy, like a bedwetter, getting ready to go to sleep, too small to be trusted to keep his mattress dry without some help.

It was safe, he knew, the chances of his roommate tearing himself away from his game in the few minutes he'd be in the bathroom slim, but it did still make him nervous, opening his bedroom door, slipping the few steps down the hall. He didn't know how well the tapes would hold up if he messed with them too much more, so he didn't dare use the toilet, even if his bladder was starting to feel a little full, ignoring it with a blush to turn to the sink to brush his teeth, practically able to sense the heat radiating from his own face as he stared at his reflection, seeing the truth of who he really was for, perhaps, the first time ever.

He'd woken up with an aching bladder, ready to burst, and the temptation to stay tucked in, to let it go in his Pampers, was strong... But he couldn't. His potty training was too strong, along with his fear of what would happen if the diaper failed him, if he hadn't put it on properly after all, if it leaked... He didn't have time to deal with that, or with his roomie's questions, if he was seen sneaking his bedding to the washing machine first thing in the morning...

He was glad he hadn't taken the diaper off to use the toilet before bed; that truly would have been a waste. Or, maybe then, before they'd spent all night holding the diaper in place as he tossed and turned, they might have been in better shape. That morning, however, after he'd peeled them off, it was clear they wouldn't up to the task for another round.

That was humiliating, too, how disappointed that made him feel, knowing he'd blown his shot at having the full experience, of seeing what it was like to use them... He could always buy some, of course, but then he'd have a whole package, and he didn't know if he was quite ready to commit to that... Plus, wouldn't it look weird, someone his age buying diapers? Yesterday, perhaps, he might have been able to convince himself that people would assume he was purchasing them for a younger sibling, or even a child... Now that he'd spent the night in one, he was sure everyone would think he was nothing more than a lost little boy, getting them for himself to try to hide his accidents from his Mommy and Daddy...

And so, he'd found himself texting Malory, seeing if she wanted to hang out after he got off of work, being certain she knew he meant at her place, not his. It hadn't really been a shock, seeing Mrs. Holland there, since it was her house, but knowing what he had planned - and what he'd done last night - and with the backpack he was wearing to help him with his plot, he was very self-conscious. Walking into the woman's house without even ringing the doorbell, despite Mrs. Holland herself having told him many times he was free to do that whenever he liked, made him feel like a burglar, one who had immediately been spotted, before he could so much as make his way to the safe.

"H-Hello," he stammered, staring down at his feet, unable to look her in the eye, positive that she knew everything...

"I'm sure you know, but Malory's up in her bedroom," Mrs. Holland said pleasantly. "It's nice to see you again so soon!"

Finally, he dared to lift his head slightly, catching a glimpse of her smile. "Y-Yeah," he managed to return it, seeing no sign of anger there, or of suspicion, or anything else that would indicate any of his fears were anything more than the overzealous imagination of a silly little boy. "N-Nice to see you, too!" 

That was true, yes, but what he really couldn't wait to see again was that stack of diapers in the bathroom....