Compromise - Chapter 14 (Patreon)

Lizzie let out a long sigh as she felt the water start cascading down onto her, closing her eyes again as it ran over her skin, not quite as warm and comfy as she had been last night, in Heather's arms, but close.

She could have done that as soon as she was in the bathroom, though, then, she was afraid Heather would hear, might mistake it as something else, as her being grateful to get away from her; besides, it had only taken a few extra moments for her to start the water up, jealous of how quickly it warmed compared to in her own apartment, and step into the shower, trusting the extra noise to drown her out.

It wasn't that she was glad to be away from the Amazon at all - if anything, she wished she'd had the guts to invite her into the shower with her, but perhaps that was moving too fast. Heather had seen her naked already, and Heather had changed in the room the night before, although Lizzie still didn't know if she'd done that on purpose, or thought Lizzie was asleep, or just saw her as so much of a baby that it didn't matter. Sharing a shower, however, was another matter altogether... Not to mention that the fact Lizzie was spending the shower washing off the feeling of a wet diaper, which did not make her feel sexy in the slightest.

And that was really what had prompted her sigh, what had made her fret from the moment she'd woken up and felt the squishiness in her padding. It had been so mortifying, all she'd wanted to do was crawl under the covers and hide her face... Or dash out of the apartment and run back home, though, of course, that wasn't actually an option, no matter how much she might feel like doing it. There would be no getting the diaper off in that case, not by herself, and she'd almost definitely get caught by some other Amazon if she was out and about dressed this way.

She'd been so overwhelmed by it all, she hadn't given a second thought to going again, to relieving her aching bladder as she sat in Heather's bed, feeling the padding warm, and soften further, between her legs as the 'accident' spread. The diaper had already been wet enough that there would be no point arguing she didn't belong in it, and she hadn't been ready to admit the truth to Heather, didn't want to be pressured into it, and risk not being able to get to the bathroom and untaped on time anyway, so the easiest thing to do, even if it was something she'd spent so much of her life trying so hard not to let happen.

Obviously, that had meant facing Heather in a soggier diaper, sitting down and eating breakfast in it, feeling so very tiny and helpless. It was almost like, by then, her brain had realized the situation she was in and gave in, allowing a few more trickles to escape as she ate her eggs and sipped the coffee Heather had made her, giving her very generous amounts of milk and sugar, thankfully. At this point, it hardly mattered how much she used her diaper, so long as it didn't leak... And, as much as she'd gone already, it didn't seem to be in any danger of that.

But it was still that initial wetting that scared her. She wasn't a bedwetter, not since she was a very small child, barely out of training pants; why, all of the sudden, had she started? She didn't want to think that Heather had done anything to her, not after everything they'd been through together, and yet... Why else would it have happened? Had her mind's acceptance of her situation started overnight, recognizing the bulk of the diaper and letting her body use it automatically? It wasn't quite the same as what it was doing now, when her diaper was very much wet. Then again, it had been damp when she went to sleep, too...

Her real fear, though, was what was going to happen the next night. These things were a slippery slope, she knew. She'd had plenty of friends who had started out with one wet night, only to have it balloon in no time into a regular problem, spreading quickly into their daytime lives until they were in diapers full-time, despite their best efforts. In those cases, there was almost always an Amazon waiting in the wings to adopt them, and she suspected they were to blame for most, if not all, of it... But what if she was wrong? What if everything the Amazons always said about littles was right, and they were naturally no better than toddlers, whose potty training could crumble at the drop of a hat? That one instance of bedwetting could be the beginning of the end. 

She couldn't think of anyone else that she'd want to be her Mommy other than Heather, if that was where this road was going... That wasn't really what she wanted, however, no matter how easily she would have agreed to it last night when they were in the middle of making out.

So it had been a huge relief when Heather had told her the truth, that she hadn't wet the bed after all. She was almost upset that Heather had let her know earlier, but how could she have known what Lizzie was thinking before she made her confession? Unless... There was a chance that Heather was lying now, that she really had gone in her sleep, and the woman was lulling her into a false sense of security...

No. She shook her head, water splashing off, onto the shower walls. She had no reason not to trust Heather, other than the simple fact that she was an Amazon. Maybe it wasn't fair to view Amazons in general that way, but it was part of what had kept her safe and out of diapers all these years... When it came to Heather, it definitely wasn't right to not at least give her the benefit of the doubt.

Even so, Lizzie couldn't say that she was exactly thrilled to know she was going back into diapers after she got out of the shower. It certainly put a damper on the 'victory' of not wetting the bed, as if that was something unusual for her. She thought back to the diaper collection, all that bulky padding, those childish designs... Was she seriously going to let herself be put into another one?! That was so humiliating... Not the diapering itself, necessarily, because that part might be nice, having some more intimate one-on-one time with Heather... But being stuck in the diaper until she got home would be.

She ran through all the kinds of diapers she'd seen, still not able to make a decision about which was the best - or the least bad, as the case might be - not knowing what she should pick. She could have spent hours mentally debating them all, but it felt like she'd already spent far too long in the shower, and she didn't want to be responsible for making Heather late for work.

The plain, pastel-colored diapers would be so much better... If the skirt of her dress blew up, there was a chance they could be mistaken for panties, if the glimpse of them was brief enough. Of course, if she couldn't get them off by herself, that wouldn't exactly matter, and there were no Amazons near to her apartment that she trusted to march up to them in a diaper and ask them to remove the tapes for her. The other diapers would leave no doubt of what they were, no matter how short a look anyone got of them. Even if somebody thought they could be underwear, they were underwear so childish that there was a good chance anyone who voluntarily wore them might have had an accident in them anyway, and probably needed to be checked...

She could go commando; it hadn't felt like a real option the night before, when she was wearing one of Heather's shirts as a nightgown, but now... Well, it was still hard to justify. She was going to be riding in Heather's car to pick up her own, in a relatively small dress... And then she'd have to get into her apartment. All her fears about someone catching a glimpse of her diaper were valid for them seeing she was running around with no undies whatsoever, too. If they saw that, they would assume she'd either had an accident and rid herself of the evidence, or was just a very naughty girl who thought that was appropriate. Neither option was likely to end well for her.

"Why did I do this?" she whined, stomping her foot, splashing in the water that had collected beneath her. If she'd only thought to bring an extra pair of panties with her... But, at the start of the date, she hadn't dared hope she would be spending the night with Heather, that she might need them... Nor would she have ever anticipated their first night together to be quite the way it had been.

She also could have not worn the trainers in the first place. It had been such a silly idea, so risky... Things could have gone so much worse for her, and no doubt would have, if she hadn't had Heather there with her. That had been completely her choice, and using them had been, too. She'd done it for Heather, but Heather hadn't asked for it... It didn't seem like Heather had been expecting it. The woman had been enjoying the date just fine, as far as Lizzie could tell, even before the reveal.

If she hadn't, she wouldn't be here now, stuck in the shower, trying to decide on a diaper to wear home. On the other hand, she wouldn't be here now, in Heather's apartment, after a sweet, cozy night that might not have been everything she'd want from sharing a bed with her crush, but had been much closer than she'd ever dare dream.

Finally, she had to stop the water and get out. She hadn't come to any conclusions; she couldn't stay in there forever, however, and, while she didn't have a clock in the bathroom to judge by, she had a feeling she'd procrastinated too long already. She dried herself off, the towel nice and big and fluffy, enveloping her, too big to even really tie around her body, though she could wrap herself in it a few times over and did, the cloth trailing behind her as she bashfully peeked out of the bathroom door.

"There you are!" Heather smiled. "I was starting to worry you might have washed down the drain!"

"S-Sorry," Lizzie blushed. "I-I'm not making you late, am I?"

"Don't worry about it," Heather assured her. "You can use my room if you want to get dressed, or..." Her eyes flicked towards the still-open nursery door, as if she'd been reading Lizzie's mind through the whole shower... Then again, that was where they'd been right before Lizzie had gone to get cleaned up, so it wasn't exactly a difficult guess to assume she might want to go back in.

'Want' was really a strong word, although, considering the alternative, she supposed it fit. "O-Okay," she nodded, feeling a bit light-headed. "L-Let's go to the nursery."

Heather beamed, obviously happy with her choice, even as she did her best to disguise it. "Are you sure?" she asked. "You don't have to."

"Y-Yeah, I do," Lizzie said, shuffling towards it, nearly getting her legs tangled up in the huge towel and falling on her face. "Let's just get it over with."

Heather hesitated, pausing in the hallway to look at her phone, giving Lizzie a moment or two to return to the collection of diapers, and especially the ones without little-proof tapes. If anything, they were even more babyish than she'd remembered, and she let out a pitiful whimper as she stared down at them. Maybe she could go with some of the plain ones, have Heather follow her home and take it off her once she was safe in her apartment... 

No. That was asking too much. Already, she'd made Heather wait as she fruitlessly debated in the shower for far too long without coming up with an answer, and she was going to drive her all the way back to the theater before she could head to work... She couldn't make her go even further out of her way, whether she'd be willing to do it or not. Lizzie just needed to stop being a baby and... Well, decide what kind of baby she was going to be.

Suddenly, a solution hit her, so obvious she couldn't believe she hadn't thought of it earlier. She'd asked Heather if any of them were rare, or particularly special to her, so she wouldn't take them inadvertently... There was something else she hadn't asked, however, that she could.

"So," she looked down at the floor, "a-are there any of these," she gestured to the diapers she could take off on her own, almost losing her grip on the towel, "that you'd like to see me in?"

It was a brilliant solution, if she did say so herself. It kept her from having to make the choice, it would give Heather what she wanted... And, if she hadn't been bluffing, Heather could easily go buy more of that particular diaper, if she really liked the way it looked, and replenish her collection. If not, she'd know it wasn't worth it.

"Oh, Lizzie," Heather smiled, "I'd love to see you in any of them." Lizzie groaned, rolled her eyes, but she could tell from the way Heather said it that it wasn't a cop-out, that she truly did mean it. "You'd look adorable no matter which of them you wore."

"But I don't know which one to pick!" Lizzie pouted. Every time she thought she'd narrowed them down, she noticed some new detail on the pattern of the other ones, something that made them look so much more infantile than she'd realized, and the others suddenly didn't look so bad. "Umm..." She knelt down, staring at them closer, starting to sweat slightly. "I-I guess..."

"It's up to you," Heather told her, her supportiveness, while appreciated, not helping at all. "I really think you ought to make the decision." Lizzie stared up at her, wide-eyed. "It's only for today... Or even just this morning, I don't know how long you're going to wear it." Lizzie blushed, imagining deciding to wear it any longer than she had to, spending the day lounging around her apartment in it... There was no way she'd do that! Except... Well, as much as Heather was downplaying it, these were parts of her collection, and it would be kind of disrespectful of her to take it off immediately and throw it away as soon as she got home... "It isn't that big a deal, Lizzie. Just pick."

"Umm..." Lizzie nibbled her bottom lip. "Umm... How about... These?" 

She jabbed her finger out, almost at random, trying to get it over with, to stop wasting Heather's time, landing, after everything, on the kittens, playing against a field of pink plastic. She nearly changed her mind, certain, looking again, that one was a bit thicker than the others, but she shook her head; the decision was made, and she was going to stick with it.

"Aww," Heather cooed, picking the diaper up. "Are you my little kitten?"

"N-No," Lizzie turned as pink as the diaper she was about to be put into.

"Are you sure?" Heather teased, opening up the diaper with a crinkly snap, lying it on the changing table. "Up you go, little kitten!"

The nickname was so childish, so humiliating... And yet, hearing it from Heather's lips, it made Lizzie melt a bit, making her feel gooey and warm inside in a way she really wasn't prepared for, cutting through all of her grown-up defenses. Maybe she was just Mommy's little kitten... And, if that was the case, then she ought to do whatever her Mommy wanted, even if that meant wearing diapers, and using them, and...

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the doorbell, making her jump, the towel slipping from her grip, puddling at her feet. Heather was clearly about to put her into a diaper and see her naked anyway, so it was hard to be too embarrassed by it... Especially when Heather wasn't even looking at her anymore.

"Oh, good," she exclaimed. "I didn't think they were going to make it on time!"

"Th-They?" Lizzie squeaked. What was Heather talking about?! The Amazon stepped away from the changing table, walking swiftly out of the nursery altogether, leaving Lizzie scrambling to gather her towel back up. Surely whoever this 'they' was, Heather wasn't going to let them see her like this, would she? But why else would she be in such a rush? Visions of a pair of babysitters swam through her head, Heather no doubt aware that a single one might not be enough to keep Lizzie from escaping... Two, though? That would be much more difficult.

Was that why Heather had been so nonchalant about which diaper Lizzie could wear? Because she knew that there'd be someone else there for the rest of the day to make that choice for her, until she got home from work and could take over? Was she giving Lizzie one last decision to make on her own before she was surrounded by 'grown-ups' who would choose everything for her, from what she wore to what she did each day, to what she ate, when she got a diaper change...

No! Lizzie shook her head, upset with herself for jumping to that conclusion. After everything, she should know by now that Heather wasn't that kind of Amazon... It was just hard to overcome a lifetime of assumptions, no matter how nice Heather had been to her. Not to mention that she really had no idea who else 'they' could be... But there was no reason for her to assume the worst.

In fact, when Heather returned, there was nobody at all with her. "I ordered these last night," she said, ripping open the flap on the large padded envelope she was carrying. "I was starting to think they were going to show up after we left, though." She reached into the envelope and pulled out a package of some kind of cloth, wrapped in plastic, bending down to hand it to Lizzie. "I hope they fit. I had to guess on your size, but I didn't want to ask and get your hopes up about them if they didn't..."

"P-Panties?" Lizzie's eyes widened as she saw what she was holding, not thinking about how rude it was to interrupt the person who was giving her a present, especially one she never would have expected to get from her. "Y-You bought me panties?"

"Is that too forward?" Heather's cheeks darkened slightly. "I'm sorry, I just thought..."

"No!" Lizzie squealed. "No, they're great!"

That wasn't exactly the word she normally would have used for them, glancing down at the package. She would have passed these up in a second at the store. They looked pretty thick for underwear, all of them bright white, folded to show the simple, childish designs on the front, different on each pair, beneath the day of the week that was printed beneath the waistbands, each with a different colored ribbon and bow. They were clearly made for someone who was barely out of potty training... Or whose Mommy thought they needed to be shown how bad their potty training was, the white cloth no doubt meant to show even the smallest accident.

They were underwear, though, and so much better than any of the diapers. And nothing would have stopped Heather from setting the package aside, not telling Lizzie about it, coming back and putting her into the diaper she'd picked out instead... Lizzie would have been none the wiser about it. That, really, was the part that was great.

"Are you sure?" Heather smiled, looking relieved. "You can always wear your kittens instead..."

Lizzie blushed bright red, glancing up at the still-waiting diaper. She almost felt like she should, like she owed it to Heather... But Heather had bought these panties specifically for her, so it would have been rude to turn them down, too. And, after a moment, she could see that Heather was just teasing anyway, that she didn't expect her to choose the diaper.

In Heather's bedroom, Lizzie opened up the package, grabbing the first pair of panties so she could keep the others neatly contained, sliding them up her legs. They were definitely thicker and a more full cut than what she was used to, but after spending her evening in trainers and diapers, they were a huge step up. She looked at herself in the mirror, at the yellow ribbon around the waistband, the word 'Sunday' stitched into the cloth over a smiling sun... She looked ridiculous, yet it was miles better than trying to sneak back to her place in a diaper. There would be no mistaking these for anything other than what they were, and, as long as she didn't have any accidents - and of course she wouldn't - no reason anyone could use them to justify padding her up further.

By the time she emerged from the bedroom, dressed and ready to go, she was feeling like herself again, like an adult. Heather smiled down at her, paused. "Could I... Take a peek?" she asked after a second. Lizzie blushed, then nodded, Heather lifting the skirt of her dress, as if she were giving her a panty inspection... No, not like that, that was what it was, Lizzie realized, face warming further. "Adorable," Heather said. "But... Did you forget what day it was, sweetie?"

"Huh?" Lizzie furrowed her brow, looking down, having almost forgotten about the design of the panties, she was so flustered about standing there in front of Heather like this. 

"I was thinking," Heather told her, "and you don't have to do it if you don't want to, but... I thought maybe you could wear these for me. I know you aren't ready for diapers yet, or trainers... These, though... They're panties, and they're so cute on you, and I thought they'd make you think of me when you put them on... And maybe send me some pictures, if I ask for them..."

Lizzie's heart beat a little faster. "Y-You want to be able to check my panties?" She didn't have accidents, didn't pee her pants... But in these panties, even a few errant drops would probably show up, and make it so humiliating to have to show them off... And there was only one pair for each day, so she wouldn't be able to fake it, either, if something did happen...

In a way, though, it would be like Heather was always with her, from the moment she put her panties on in the morning to the second she went to bed, always knowing that, at any time, the woman could send a text... It would be like they were together the whole day long, with Heather able to lift up Lizzie's skirt, or tug down her pants, whenever she wanted, to ensure she was still dry and clean, like a little girl who couldn't quite be trusted...

But it was like a little girl, not like a baby. She knew that was what Heather really wanted, and she wasn't sure, right now, if she'd have had the strength to say no if, instead, Heather had suggested sending a package of diapers home with her, making her try them out, asking for random pics of those to prove she was giving them a fair chance... These panties were way better than that.

"I just want to be able to make sure you're wearing the right ones for the day... And that there aren't any stains..." Heather smirked, making Lizzie's cheeks heat up again as her mind thought back to how little it was likely to take to make a stain. "You don't have to, of course, you can wear them whenever and however you want. Or throw them away when you get home if you don't like them. They're a gift, so I don't want you to feel like..."

"No," Lizzie could hardly believe what she was saying, even as the words came out of her mouth. "No, I'll do it."

"Are you sure?" The way Heather's eyes sparkled when she asked it, there was no way Lizzie could say no.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah, I can do that."

"Good girl." Lizzie melted at those words, and as Heather took the package of underwear from her hands, then slid her fingers beneath the waistband of her panties. "I think I'd better get you into the right panties for today, then, silly kitten."

Lizzie could have told her that she could do it herself, or that they could wait and start this whole thing tomorrow, instead... But, all she could do as she stood there, staring up at Heather, was giggle, "Yes, Mommy."