An Evening Alone (Patreon)

A short story, commissioned by Invada.

"You got a package!" Sarah announced.

The words should have excited Abigail, for a variety of reasons... For one, it was always nice to get packages, and see what was inside, even if, really, she knew, since most of the time it was stuff she'd ordered. For another, assuming this was what she thought it was, it had arrived ahead of schedule, which proved that she should have been obsessively checking the tracking data all along, the way she'd told herself was pointless to do, and had made herself stop days ago.

"Oh," she chuckled anxiously. "I-I think that must be..." Her mind raced as she turned around on the sofa, seeing how big the package was, trying to think of what she could possibly say, what she might have ordered that would be that size, that her best friend, the person she shared an apartment with while they were in college, wouldn't question not seeing again. She was glad to see that the box was plain, just as the website had promised, but it was a small comfort, considering it surely had a return address, with a company name Sarah could Google if she were so inclined...

"Sorry!" Sarah cut her off before she could come up with anything. "I have to run! You can show me later, okay?"

"Y-Yeah!" Abigail waved awkwardly, having no intention whatsoever of doing that, hoping that, by the time Sarah got back from her class, or whatever she was going off to do, she'd have forgotten all about the package.

Luckily, that seemed to work; less fortunately, by the time Abigail had a good opportunity, where she felt she could safely indulge herself, she'd nearly forgotten all about it as well, until she spotted the box again, jammed into one corner of her closet. She'd opened up the box that day, but thought it would be safer to keep them inside the outer box, away from prying eyes, assuming that they were curious enough to look in her closet, and not enough to open a couple flaps on a box.

Once Sarah was off with some of her other college friends, and Abigail had given her a few minutes, in case she came dashing back up to the apartment for forgotten keys, or purses, or anything, she dragged the box out, opened it, her heart fluttering at what she saw inside, waiting for her. That first day, she hadn't been able to resist it, had ripped open the package, slid out one of the things inside to touch it, feel it, listen to it... She hadn't been able to get it back in the box, so it had gone beside it, where the air pillows had been. There was enough room for that, and the bottle of baby powder she'd bought for herself to go with it.

She gave them both a squeeze as she pulled them out, giggling at the sound the first made, and the smell that came from the second, along with the powder. This was it... She was really going to do it.

She'd been dreaming about this for a long, long time, since she'd stopped wetting the bed - and then lying to her parents about still wetting the bed - and run out of Goodnites. Now that she was away at college, in her own place, it should have been simple to indulge herself, to go even further than she'd ever dared, but, as much as she liked Sarah, she had been the sticking point in all her plans. Finally, she'd seen a diaper online that was too cute for her to resist ordering a package of, so she'd done it, telling herself that, eventually, she'd have the chance to wear them.

And now, it was that time. She giggled again as she unfolded the diaper, hardly able to believe that it was for her, that after all this time, she was going to be in a diaper, a real diaper... She'd loved her Goodnites, a lot, but this was always what she'd wanted... She'd never gotten up the courage to ask her parents to upgrade her, or to pretend that her Goodnites weren't absorbent enough for her to try to force their hand. When she really had wet the bed, that thought was too embarrassing; when she'd stopped, and still wanted to wear padding to bed, she'd felt guilty enough lying to them so they'd keep her in bedwetting pants. She doubted they'd ever have bought her anything like this anyway, anything so bright pink, and infantile...

This was definitely the kind of thing a toddler belonged in, not a college girl, out on her own, an adult... Yet, here she was, giddy and light-headed as she powdered herself up, using far more than she needed so that the smell would follow her everywhere, and taped it into place, marveling at the bulk of it between her thighs, at the crinkliness that accompanied her every movement, ensuring that, even if she could ignore the extra thickness around her bottom, she'd still never be able to forget what she was wearing.

As much fun as the idea of toddling around the apartment in a t-shirt and diaper was, she didn't have the guts for that, home alone or not, so she pulled her pajamas on over top, the shorts bulging out slightly, the waistband constantly threatening to slide down and expose the plastic underneath. Instantly, she was taken back to her childhood, to when she'd been a bedwetter, when she'd been afraid - and a bit excited at the idea - that her parents were going to hire her a babysitter, despite how old she was, because anyone who still wet the bed was obviously too immature to stay home by themselves...

Of course, there was no babysitter now, so she had to go fix dinner for herself, and take it into the living room to watch some TV with it, constantly squirming in place to listen to her diaper. She was a little nervous, just sitting on the couch in a diaper, covered or not, but, as time went on, she got more and more comfortable with it, knowing that when Sarah went out, she was usually gone for a good, long time.

She'd been able to feel that her bladder was full for a while, naturally, yet it wasn't until she heard the rain start pelting the windows of the apartment that it occurred to her that she could also try to use her diaper. And why not? She'd experimented with using her Goodnites on purpose a bit, towards the end of her time with them, and these ought to hold so much more than those... She'd just have to make sure to dispose of it before Sarah got home.

She took another sip of her drink, settling back into the sofa, closing her eyes, trying to relax her bladder. It had been a long time since those Goodnites, however, a long time since she'd attempted to challenge her potty training... She did her best to pretend she was in the bathroom, the trick she'd used back then, but no matter what, she couldn't seem to do it.

She sighed, a little disappointed in herself, and a little embarrassed at that, that she was so let down by her own inability to pee her pants. This had been fun anyway, though, and maybe this was a sign that it was time to go change, so she could stop worrying about what she was certain was an irrational fear that, at any moment, Sarah would return...

And then, just when she was about to do that, the door opened, and Sarah bustled in. Abigail gasped, squirming to the corner of the couch, yanking a blanket over herself, heart thumping loudly in her chest. "Stupid rain!" Sarah groaned. "It ruins everything!"

"Y-Yeah," Abigail nodded, wondering if she'd have time to make a dash for her bedroom while Sarah was drying herself off. 

"It's the worst," another voice added, making Abigail's stomach sink as she saw Jennifer, one of Sarah's friends, step in as well. Abigail didn't mind Jennifer too much, most of the time... Now, however, she was making things that much more difficult for her, standing by as Sarah went to fetch her a towel, then plopping down on the couch between the two roommates. 

Abigail swallowed, not daring to move now, those crinkles she loved so much a sure signal to the other two women that something was up. She'd hoped, if she could stay perfectly still, they'd never know, until she saw Jennifer's nose twitch. "It smells like a baby in here," she announced. "What's up with that?"

Abigail's stomach churned, wanting nothing more than to hide herself under the blanket, especially once Sarah joined in, sniffing the air. "Yeah," she chuckled. "It kind of does, doesn't it? What do you think, Abby?"

"I-I don't know," Abigail gave the tiniest shrug, afraid that anything more would make more than her shoulders move, and cause her diaper to make noise. "I-I don't notice anything..." 

Thankfully, they dropped the subject, turning their attention to the TV. Less fortunately, Abigail had other, more pressing matters she had to deal with. Her bladder was still pretty full, after all, and she didn't dare get up and waddle to the bathroom, terrified her shorts would slide down, show off her diaper... She couldn't even cross her legs, or squirm, the way she might if she was trying to hold her bladder normally. She hadn't been able to go when she'd wanted to, but now, when she didn't, when she was inches away from other people, she had no choice.

"You okay?" Jennifer asked, when Abigail let out a gasp as the first few dribbles escaped into her diaper, the padding thirstily absorbing them, leaving behind just a warm, squishy spot.

"Y-Yeah," Abigail nodded, another trickle already starting, despite her best efforts - such as they were, when she was frozen in one spot, afraid to move - "I-I was just..." she nodded towards the TV, hoping something startling had happened to explain her reaction, since she hadn't been paying attention to it at all. She attempted to take control, to release her bladder slowly, deliberately... It didn't take long for her to realize it was out of her hands, that she was helplessly wetting her pants, like the baby she'd been so excited to be earlier tonight.

After that, after she was in a soggy, rapidly cooling, diaper, she knew she couldn't bear to speak to her friends, to interact with them again while she was like this. She laid her head down on the arm of the couch, pretending to fall asleep, hoping they'd excuse themselves and at least leave her alone in her shame.

"Hey, Abby," Sarah said gently. "Abby, let's get you into bed..."

"N-No," Abigail shook her head, trying to sound groggy. "Jennifer can have it... I'll sleep out here..."

Even with that, it took them a while longer to decide to turn in, probably because she was acting like it didn't bother her to have them there, that she was sleeping anyway... And, to her surprise, that became the truth for a bit as she dozed off, waking only when the television switched off. As soon as she saw they were still there, she closed her eyes again, waiting for them to leave.

Before they did, they rearranged her on the couch, spreading the blanket out over her, tucking her in... It took everything Abigail had to stay silent during all that, terrified that they'd see, or hear, her diaper. Her wet diaper, under her PJs, like she'd reverted back to being a bedwetter, after all these years...

There had been something nostalgic about waking up from her nap like that, something pleasantly embarrassing... She almost wanted to go through it again tomorrow morning, but she was definitely going to sneak out of the apartment once the others were asleep, throw the diaper away in the dumpster outside. There was no guarantee how she'd wake up, that the blanket would still be on her, or the PJ shorts still pulled up properly... She couldn't risk that.

Just when she had that plan in mind, she heard Jennifer speak up again, whispering to Sarah. "Do you think we ought to change her diaper, too?"

Abigail winced, trying desperately to convince herself that she must have misheard, that there was no way Jennifer could be talking about her, that she could know... 

"I'm sure it's fine," Sarah replied. "Hey, do you have any plans tomorrow?"

"Nope," Jennifer told her. "Unless you want me to help you do a little babysitting..." Abigail clutched her blanket helplessly as she heard them giggle to one another while they headed off to bed.

It was only then that she thought about the box of diapers in her room, the room Jennifer was sleeping in, and wondered if she'd put it back in the closet... Did it really matter at this point? Obviously, she hadn't hidden her secret as well as she'd thought anyway. And, now that she knew that they were aware of her diaper, she couldn't get rid of it without raising more suspicion, so, even if they hadn't known for sure that she'd used her diaper, they would in the morning...

It looked like her fantasy had come true after all... She had her diapers, and she had her babysitters, and it was very possible they were going to think she was a bedwetter, an immature little girl who needed looking after... All she could really do now was try to get back to sleep, and hope her friends would keep her secret.