A Little Rest - Chapter 10 (Patreon)

"Oh!" Penny looked away from the dollhouse, back at Lizzie. "Did you hear?"

Lizzie glanced to the seat of her friend's diaper, ensuring that wasn't what she sounded so surprised about, but seeing only the same slightly damp, but otherwise clean, expanse of padding, no evidence of anything shocking happening there. "Umm... I don't think so?" she shrugged, having, therefore, no clue what the girl was talking about.

"Gwen got adopted!" Penny crawled a little closer and whispered, looking around as if it were some big secret she didn't want anyone else to overhear.

Lizzie's eyebrows raised at that; she hadn't known what to expect from the news, but it certainly wasn't that. "Really?" she asked. "Who would have adopted her?"

"She wasn't that bad," Penny replied, not sounding particularly convincing, even before Lizzie gave her a skeptical look. "Not all the time!" 

"Isn't it nicer having your own room?" Lizzie pointed out, and Penny quickly nodded.

"It's a little lonely sometimes, though," she added, looking over at her friend.

Lizzie knew what this was about - they'd had the conversation before, but Penny wouldn't take no for an answer - and sighed. "I'm sorry, Penny, I just need my own space sometimes. You know how I get."

Penny nodded, although that didn't stop her from pouting. "I know," she admitted. "I'm worried about who else might end up as my roomie instead." 

"I'm sure they'll be very nice," Lizzie gave her a hug. "And if not, we'll take care of it, okay?"

"Okay," Penny sniffed. "You'd better not be lying."

Lizzie chuckled. "I'm not, Penny. I don't think I'm going anywhere anytime soon."

She still, sometimes, would look at the windows, or the doors, and try to work out how she could get to them, and get out, without being spotted, but she knew that was just a fantasy. She wasn't getting out of this place... If she did, she had no idea how to get back home, or how to get by in this strange world on her own, especially after having spent this long getting used to diapers, whether she liked it or not. Her diapers were almost always wet, to one degree or another, and she very rarely knew it was happening.

Her little scrapbook was starting to get quite the collection of stickers, too. It was for the best, to avoid another enema, though she still had to remind herself of that every time, not only as she squatted down and messed herself, but also as she went to get her change, and was given her sticker, getting praised for being such a good girl... She knew it wasn't worth it for that, that she was willing to not be a good girl in this instance... Except, she really didn't want an enema. 

And, if she was being honest, it was getting much easier... And she was beginning to look forward to what sticker she'd get this time... She kept telling herself she wasn't intentionally pooping her Pampers just to get the next one, but if she thought about it, it was hard to deny. She was doing it on purpose, at least for now, though she'd been having more and more close calls where the control hadn't been entirely in her hands; the threat of punishment was the real reason, yet the only tangible reward she was getting was the stickers. To an outside observer, that might be exactly what it looked like.

"You'll get adopted in no time!" Penny assured her. "You're so cute!"

Lizzie smiled softly, knowing the girl was trying her best to be comforting, even if Lizzie herself wasn't sure adoption was her ultimate goal here. "Not as cute as you," she booped her friend on the nose. "And how could I go off and leave you alone?"

Of course, they both knew it wasn't really in their hands. They could do their best when someone interested came to either encourage or discourage whoever it was from adopting them, but the choice was ultimately on the other person, and the orphanage. And if somebody was willing to adopt Gwen, it was hard to tell what they might be looking for... If they acted bratty to try to chase them off, it could be just what they wanted. 

She could do her best to read each person, to do the opposite of what they appeared to desire in their baby... It was still a gamble, however. What if she judged them wrong? What if they were trying to trick her for some reason? She was starting to realize she had no real control, over her fate here, or what happened in her diapers. Gwen had loved to tease her, to call her a baby, and, in the end, it seemed she was right, to some degree, at least. Lizzie was as helpless as one in all the ways that mattered.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Hello, there, Lizzie," the woman smiled, kneeling down next to her as she sat on the floor of her room. "It's very nice to meet you."

"Uh... Okay," Lizzie eyed her suspiciously. Immediately, she seemed different from most of her other visitors, a bit gentler, calmer... But she knew not to trust that. 

The woman chuckled, looking back at the worker standing in the doorway briefly. "She's got a little attitude to her, doesn't she?" Lizzie couldn't tell for sure if the woman liked that or not, whether to lean into it - if the woman wanted a nice, obedient baby girl - or pull back - if she wanted someone bratty she'd have plenty of good reasons to punish. "You can call me Ms. Heath, dear."

Lizzie stared up into her eyes, still trying to decide on her approach here. The woman really did seem nice, though that didn't necessarily mean anything. However, she needed to do something, so she made the choice to trust herself this time. "No, thanks," she shrugged, turning back to her toys.

"Lizzie!" the worker scolded. "Behave yourself, little lady!"

Lizzie squirmed, feeling her diaper warming beneath her slightly as she worried she'd gone too far, and was in for a spanking after this. Before she could figure out if she needed to apologize to avoid that, and risk ruining the rebel image she was projecting, Ms. Heath stepped in. "No, it's all right," she said. "If she doesn't want to, she doesn't have to... She has no idea who I am, after all."

"You're still a grown-up, compared to her," the worker pointed out.

"That's true," the other woman agreed, "but not all grown-ups deserve respect, do they, Lizzie?"

"N-No?" Lizzie couldn't help answering that way, even if it was what Ms. Heath seemed to want to hear. It was definitely rare for her to see an Amazon expressing that attitude... Was this some strange trap? Or had she hit the jackpot?

"What kind of things do you like to do, Lizzie?" the woman asked, and, as their conversation continued, Lizzie couldn't help leaning more towards the latter. It was more and more of a challenge to keep answering her sweet, patient questions with snark... There was a part of her that didn't want to throw this one, that nearly let her act the way she wanted, to respond in kind, but she kept reminding herself about Penny.

She didn't go as far as she could have, though. There were a few opportunities where she could have pulled the woman's hair, pushed her over when she was leaning to pick up one of Lizzie's discarded toys, really been a little terror, and she resisted all of those. She refused to give any straight answers, however, or address the woman by name after having made a bit of a scene about it, preferring to just call her, "You," or, if she was talking to the worker, "Her." She was glad Ms. Hudson was apparently too busy to observe this one, or she definitely would have gotten a lecture afterwards. She might still, if this worker tattled on her...

"Well, it was very nice to meet you, Lizzie," Ms. Heath smiled at her when her time was up. "Could I have a hug?"

It took everything Lizzie had not to bob her head; the woman looked like she gave great hugs. She thought of her little friend, getting left her all by herself in this place... She was friendly, and sweet, and she probably wouldn't have any trouble making new friends... But Lizzie was still worried about her. "No, thank you," she mumbled quietly, glancing away so she didn't have to see Ms. Heath's reaction.

"Okay," the woman told her gently. "That's all right. Goodbye, Lizzie."

Lizzie gulped, sucking anxiously on her pacifier, wondering if she'd just made the biggest mistake of her life. When was she going to find another Amazon like that?! Were there any more in this world, or, at least, any that didn't already have all the littles they could look after? 

Ms. Hudson did show up to take her to dinner, which was pretty awkward, as Lizzie wondered if the woman had been told how she acted. She stayed quiet through the meal, then fibbed and said, "I'm not feeling well... Can I go lie down?"

Ms. Hudson narrowed her eyes, leaning a little closer to the girl as she wiggled in her high chair. For a long moment, Lizzie was certain she knew the truth... Then, thankfully, she nodded. "All right, Lizzie, if you say so."

Lizzie was a bit tired, though, honestly, she was more worried how she was going to feel when she saw Penny. It wasn't the girl's fault - she hadn't asked her to do this - but Lizzie didn't want to be mad at her, even subconsciously. She couldn't help thinking she might have ruined her one chance at a nice, pleasant life outside this place, all for Penny, and the wound was still too fresh. She didn't want to end up resenting her for it, so it was better to go back to her room and avoid her for a day or two.

Ms. Hudson was busy the next night; if she hadn't been, Lizzie assumed, she would have said something, asked if Lizzie was sure when she pulled the same trick again. The night after, the woman seemed oddly extra gentle with her, Lizzie not discovering why until she made up her mind that it was time to return to the playroom, to see Penny again. The poor girl was probably freaking out, wondering where she'd gone.

"Have fun," Ms. Hudson smiled softly at her. "I'll be right here."

"Okay," Lizzie chuckled. Of course she would; she always was. She toddled over to their usual spot, only to find no Penny. She looked around, brow furrowed, sucking harder and harder on her paci as she searched for that pink dress. Was she still eating? Lizzie waited as long as she could stand it, then waddled around the room, trying to see if the girl had found another friend in her absence after all.

Finally, she went back to Ms. Hudson, who was, indeed, right where she'd promised to remain. "Is Penny sick?" she asked nervously.

"Oh, sweetie," Ms. Hudson knelt down, eyes almost appearing to water slightly. "Don't you remember?"

Lizzie swallowed, heart starting to pound. "R-Remember what?"

"Didn't Dana... I mean, Mrs. Anders... tell you? Honestly... I told her to make sure she let you know, but she can be such a ditz sometimes..."

The girl fidgeted, every passing moment making her more nervous about what was going on. The fact that Ms. Hudson was talking bad about another worker in front of her definitely didn't bode well... She never did that... "Wh-What happened?" 

Ms. Hudson sighed, shaking her head. "It's a good thing, Lizzie, really, it is... I know you might not see it that way now..."

And, suddenly, Lizzie knew. This was, she had no doubt, the same speech that Penny would have gotten, had Lizzie given in, been the sweet girl Ms. Heath wanted, which made her regret not doing exactly that even more. She felt her eyes welling up with tears, the playroom suddenly feeling very large, all the other children in it very scary, now that she was all alone there. "P-Penny got adopted, didn't she?"

"Yeah," Ms. Hudson nodded. "She did. She asked her new Mommy if she could be picked up this morning, instead of going with her then, so she could tell you herself last night, but..."

Lizzie sniffled, resisting the urge to grab Ms. Hudson's skirt and cry into it. "O-Okay," she put on as brave a face as she could as she stood there, surrounded by the other littles. "C-Can I go to my room?"

"Of course you can," Ms. Hudson told her, picking her up, resting her on her hip, letting the girl dig her face into her side. "I'm sorry, sweetie... I promise, it'll all be okay..."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

There were plenty of other kids she could have played with, but Lizzie didn't really care. It wasn't the same; Penny had helped her through some of her toughest days here, back at the beginning, and now she was gone. Lizzie could only hope she'd been adopted by someone nice, someone who would look after her and make sure the bullies on the playground left her alone. 

Whoever it was had apparently been willing to let Penny stay a little longer to say goodbye, which made Lizzie think they couldn't be all bad, although, on the other hand, Penny might just have thrown a giant tantrum until she got what she wanted, and, when she did get to her new home, gotten punished for it. She hoped not, hoped the girl hadn't gotten in trouble for her, especially considering she hadn't bothered to go to the play room that night.

"Lizzie, sweetie, you can't hide in your room all the time," Ms. Hudson told her gently after dinner one night. "I've let you get away with it for a few days, and I know you're sad, but eventually you're going to have to come back out."

"I do," Lizzie whined. "I go to classes every day. I see people there. And at meals, too!"

Ms. Hudson nodded. "And that's good... But you need to play some, too. Get to know kids who aren't in your class."

"I have toys in my room to play with," she sulked. "And I don't wanna meet anymore kids." Why bother? They might turn out to be brats, like Gwen, or, if they weren't, they'd just get adopted and taken away from her.

"Well, they want to meet you," Ms. Hudson sighed. "I'm sorry your friend isn't here, but that's the way things go here."

This wasn't an argument she was going to win - she could tell because the Amazon was already carrying her to the play room, and not the stairs to her room - so Lizzie fell silent, not wanting to push too far. "Have fun," the woman ordered, sending her off with a pat to her diaper, before giving in a tiny bit. "You don't have to stay until bedtime... Just make a little effort for today."

"Yes, ma'am," Lizzie nodded, toddling away, straight to the quietest corner she could find to plop herself down on her soggy bottom, arms crossed, to wait what seemed an appropriate amount of time before asking to go to her room.

She obviously wasn't particularly intimidating, but neither was anyone else here, other than the Amazons. All the littles, even the ones not in diapers, were dressed childishly, playing with baby toys... It was hard to believe she'd been scared by any of them. Especially the little boy in blue who came toddling up to her, diapers very evident beneath his shorts, one hand behind his back.

"Hi, Lizzie," he said bashfully.

"Go away, Timmy," she pouted. "I'm not playing with you."

He nodded. "Okay! I just... I know you've been sad the past few days, so..." He pulled his hand out, handing over a crumpled piece of construction paper, a crude crayon drawing of a duck and a kitten on it. "Th-There really isn't much around here for presents," he shrugged.

"Oh." Lizzie took the paper, surprised, waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Umm... Thank you?" 

"You're welcome," he nodded. "I'll leave you alone now. I hope you get feeling better soon!" True to his word, he waddled off, leaving Lizzie behind, staring down at the paper, still trying to process what had happened. Was he bad mood really that obvious? Timmy was the last person she would have expected to notice... Then again, maybe she'd been misjudging him. He teased her from time to time, and was kind of a brat, sure, though, to be fair, the same could be said of most of the people here.  When they spent so much time being treated like children, it was only natural they start to act like them, to some degree...

She'd never really made any effort to get to know Timmy. How long had he been here? How had he wound up here? She'd noticed that the girls tended to get adopted more quickly than they boys... It was possible he'd been here for quite a while, and that was why he behaved the way he did. She couldn't completely excuse his actions, but she did wonder if she'd judged him a little too harshly.

Or maybe one of the Amazons had made him do it. Ms. Hudson was the obvious candidate, although it hadn't taken him long to get there... She could have asked him earlier, however, or it was possible he was a good artist, and he'd simply scribbled something out to seem like a sweet, obedient little boy. Or maybe it was her teacher, Mrs. Borges, who had noticed and asked him to cheer her up after class... If that was the case, though, she wasn't around, had no way of knowing, unless Lizzie decided to tell her - which Timmy hadn't requested she do - if the boy went through with it or not.

The same appeared to be true of Ms. Hudson. Lizzie scanned the room, saw the woman where she'd left her, pretty far away, and busy kneeling down, talking to another little girl. She could rip the picture up, or leave it there for someone else to find, and there would be no evidence of it... She didn't see any other grown-ups in the vicinity, for that matter.

If somebody else was behind this, they hadn't been interested enough to see what happened - making Lizzie assume there couldn't be any reward, or punishment if he didn't do as he was told - and Timmy was either too dumb to notice that himself, or didn't know what else to do with the picture once it was done. Or... Well, even if it had been thought up by another person, if they weren't making him follow through, it was still a nice gesture on his part.

She'd never expected this to happen, but to her surprise, she found herself climbing to her feet, shuffling after him. "Umm, Timmy?" she called out.

He turned around, and she half expected to see his normal, mischievous expression, or exasperation. She blushed, glancing down at the floor. "Thank you," she told him again, a bit less uncertain this time. "I-If you do want to play... I-I guess it wouldn't be that bad."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lizzie wouldn't say that she considered Timmy a friend, exactly, certainly not as much as Penny had been, but he did stop teasing her in class, at least. She didn't spend her whole play time with him that night, but she did help him set up a race track for some toy cars, and sent one down it herself, before going back to Ms. Hudson so she could go to her room.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" the woman had asked as she changed Lizzie into her nighttime diapers.

"I guess not," the girl had shrugged, blushing slightly.

It still wasn't the same, of course. Everything in this place was meant for babies, and boring, but she'd gotten used to Penny's favorite games, and didn't mind playing with dolls or stuffed animals... Timmy wasn't interested in those, so, if she played with him, she was back to being reminded of how ridiculous this all was. Blocks and toy trucks seemed so much more infantile now, although she knew she'd get used to them, too, with time.

Or, alternately... She wouldn't have to. This place was never meant to be a permanent home, after all, and with Penny gone, there was no real need to avoid adoption. It was scary, thinking of going somewhere, being stuck with a stranger, without Ms. Hudson, or Mrs. Borges, or Dr. Rosenwald to look after her, but if her experience with Timmy had taught her anything, it was not to judge a book by its cover. Even the scariest seeming person who showed up might be nice on the inside... It was going to be hard to tell, however, if she kept working hard to give them the opposite of what they appeared to want.

She made a decision, resolved that, whoever the next candidate was, she was going to give them a fair chance. She didn't have any real say in it, but she was at least going to act like herself, see if she could try to get to know them a little... Who knew? Maybe she'd get lucky! She just hoped Penny had, too.

So she was feeling a bit anxious when she got the news that somebody was coming in to meet her. What were they going to be like? Were they the one? It was especially scary because it was happening on the day Ms. Hudson was always off, so another worker was going to be observing. She knew they probably had her best interests at heart, too, but she'd gotten so used to Ms. Hudson being there, looking out for her... 

She was going to do it anyway, put her best foot forward, and hope that, if this did work out, it took long enough for everything to go through that she was still there the next day. She'd hate to leave without being able to tell the woman goodbye after she'd missed her chance to say it to Penny. Maybe whoever she got would be as accommodating as whoever had adopted her friend.

"She's right in here." 

Lizzie gulped as she heard those words, in the voice of a worker she didn't know that well, that was, as far as she could tell, pretty new. This was it, she thought. Time to see if she could put her money where her mouth was. She set her doll down, climbing to her feet, forcing a smile onto her face as she adjusted her skirt and watched the door open, letting in...

"Aww, isn't she cute?" Carlie smirked, grinning at the shocked look on the girl's face. "What do you think, sweetie? Is she what you were looking for in a little sister?"

"Uh-huh, Mommy," Gwen chirped from beside her, in her huge, frilly dress, thick diaper covered in ruffle-seated tights beneath it. "She's exactly what I want!"