36 - By My Side (Patreon)

Dazien felt like he was in a dream as he took notes in his new journal while Paul poured over the information about Tyrand, the small island nation far to the southeast on the other side of the continent. That journey alone would be quite the endeavor even with taking some form of magical transportation.

The Paladin seemed much more concerned about finding the Royal Artifacts, however. There was very little information on them as they were prized possessions of the nation’s monarchy that had been bound to the bloodline and wielded by the reigning monarch for generations.

It looked like he had figured out their first destination point, though, with it being closer than the other rumored locations for one of the lost pieces. However, the first step was getting through this blood moon and then getting Phoenix to Sapphire Caste to see what information Scholar had to offer them.

It was difficult for Dazien to focus completely as his mind kept wandering to Paul’s offer. He could become a noble, getting himself one step closer to his goal, and it wouldn’t come with the strings of being tied down by a political marriage or inheritance to the main House, both of which would have effectively trapped him with the title he’d gain.

Paul had made it clear that he could be a Wayland who could branch off and build up his own nation while having the advantage of an existing noble House. It all sounded too good to be true. Nobody just brings a random orphan into the nobility.

But he wasn’t random. The reasons Paul had listed had nothing to do with his looks, or how rare his species was, or even Warrior’s interest in him, those things which had nothing to do with his personal accomplishments; which is what the Paladin had focused on instead.

Paul didn’t ask for the shiny gemite trained by a god. The lord wanted a leader who tried his best to protect his friends and was worthy of trust. The more he thought about the offer, the harder it was to come up with reasons to decline it. That was until he walked through his front door and saw Uriel cooking in the tiny kitchen.

Despite Lord Wayland’s reassurance that Uriel could stay by his side, he knew there were unspoken expectations of being a noble scion. Even if Uriel was allowed to stay by his side as a partner, would he be expected to marry for politics? One of the perks of becoming a king of his own nation was that he was the only one who would have a say in something like that. He wouldn’t be made to marry someone that might make Uriel or him miserable.

Even if the Wayland House didn’t push for that –made evident by the very fact of the current Lord being unwed– he wasn’t sure how Uriel would feel about actually living with other nobles. Would his partner refuse? Would asking in the first place be asking too much? What would he do if Uriel did choose to remain alone over becoming beholden to a noble House?

With this much uncertainty running through his mind, it made one thing perfectly clear; he needed to have an honest talk with Uriel with all the vulnerability and awkwardness that entailed.

He made his presence known with his footfalls and the cinderen turned and gave a soft smile and greeted, “You’re back. I hope he didn’t beat you too badly.”

Dazien chuckled, “Actually it wasn’t quite what I expected.”

“Oh? Was it just more aura training?” the Mage asked, turning back to stir the noodles currently simmering in a small pot.

“No, it was more about our plans for the future. Where we’re being assigned at first for the Call-to-Arms and what we’re doing after the blood moon ends.”

“Isn’t that still a few months away?”

“Likely a couple still but it doesn’t hurt to gather information and form a general plan for undertaking Phoenix’s quest,” he admitted, pulling out their bowls from the tiny rack next to the sink. They each had a single set of dishware that they reused for each meal, washing after each use.

Uriel gave him a curious look and asked, “I know we’ve talked a bit about joining Phoenix on her quest after the blood moon, keeping the party together and everything, but I’m still surprised that you would set aside your own goals and plans you’ve been making since you were a child to follow somebody you don’t want to get closer to.”

“Are you really on this again?”

“I’m just saying it’s surprising. Have you thought about just… not being a party leader so you don’t have to worry about that power dynamic?”

Dazien had discussed that option with his partner in the past, long before forming their AOA party. There were other options they could have pursued to increase their Caste without walking the path of an Adventurer. Various Mercenary jobs or Hunter guilds offered bounties and would trade Bits for monster loot; or they could simply go the Wanderer route of killing, looting, and selling directly to merchants but neither was as efficient.

Instead of retreading that conversation, however, he raised a dark purple eyebrow at the cinderen who promptly expounded, “At this rate, Polissa’s going to catch Phoenix’s interest before you get the chance to let her know you’re an option. She’s made it pretty obvious to everyone how she feels about our Supporter. I don’t think even Phoenix is that oblivious to not have noticed, which means she’s finally needing to think about that kind of stuff.”

“And that’s perfectly fine for her to do with Noble Teras.”

“But then she won’t be thinking about you–”

Dazien raised a halting hand and cut him off, growing a bit frustrated at the turn in the conversation, “Seriously, Uriel. I am not interested in her like that. Why are you so insistent on pushing me towards her? You’re not exactly like me; you don’t get compersion from seeing me with others like I do with partners, last I checked. So why do you want me to pursue her?”

The cinderen scrunched his face the way he had seen Phoenix often do as the cook rebutted, “I’m not pushing.”

“Oh, yes, you are. You’ve never been this adamant about another partner of mine before. Abyss, you’ve barely asked about them unless it seemed about my mood. Now you keep bringing up the potential and with a mutual friend, no less.”

“Maybe I just think you would make a good match?” the mage offered, “You both get along with each other… and with me.”

“Is that it?” he asked incredulously, beginning to pace in the small space between the kitchenette and tiny living area, “You want me to find another that cares about you too? You know, you’re confusing me, Senesh. First, you warn me to make up my mind, then you push me to admit I like her, then you say you’ll drop it and not worry, and now you want me to actually pursue her. Why? Just because some other person shows up to– oh–”

Dazien cut himself off at the thought and turned to pin his partner with sudden understanding, “You’re afraid of losing her.”

Uriel quickly turned away to focus on the noodles that were still simmering and not needing attention, “Why would you think that? It’s not like anyone courting her would make her disappear.”

“No, it wouldn’t,” he agreed, walking closer to his partner, “But it’s the only thing that makes any sense. Warning me not to hurt her as that might make her leave the party. Making sure I like her enough to keep her near me –near you. Not wanting Polissa to sweep her off her feet and give her somewhere else to run to. What is it exactly that you think will chase her away?”

Silence fell as Uriel moved the noodles around before lowering the heat more and adding a variety of seasoning to the broth. When Dazien made it quite clear that he was waiting for an answer, the cook finally muttered, “Me.”

The mage continued his task while refusing to meet his eyes, “I haven’t told her everything and the longer this goes on, especially on a journey like her quest… I don’t know if I can keep it hidden.”

His eyes widened in surprise, “Do you really think that if Phoenix and I were in a relationship like that, it would mean that she would just accept all of your secrets the way I do?”

Uriel finally looked at him and the ember gaze was pleading, “She’s– I don’t have a lot of friends like you, Daze. But if she cares enough about you and your happiness, then maybe she’ll forgive me enough to stay...”

The desperate hope in his partner’s voice broke his heart, but he couldn’t bring himself to give support to the lie, “Oh, Senesh…” he wrapped the cinderen in a hug. His arms went around the man’s waist so as not to pin the cook’s arms and he said softly, “You know that’s not how it works.”

“But I–”

“Need to be honest with her. If you’re this worried about her not accepting you the way I do, then it’s better to come clean now rather than let it fester like she did with her secrets.”

“But that’s just it!” the mage hissed, “I had the chance and I didn’t trust her. Now it feels too late. I already messed it up. She’ll get angry at me, just like you did at her.”

Dazien pulled away, “I’ll admit that was not my best moment, okay? I overreacted but I doubt she’ll make the same mistake.”

“I just…” the taller man gave a sigh and admitted, “I just thought if you two were closer, something more than just friends, then it would be easier for her to accept the monster by your side.”

“Hey,” the Defender interjected, forcing Uriel to turn towards him, grabbing the mage’s full attention, “You’re not a monster. How many times do I have to repeat that until you stop believing it?”

Uriel looked away, like he always did, refusing to answer and rubbing one of the earrings. When Dazien had asked one time why the mage would do that –since he knew it wouldn’t activate their magic– Uriel had replied that it was a reminder to himself to not let the items shut him down; a warning of the apathy in store if he didn’t calm himself quick enough. 

Rather than push the question and have that argument for the umpteenth time, Dazien refocused on the other piece of what Uriel had suggested and said, “Actually, ‘more than friends’ might be on the table for Phoenix and me. Just not the way you were suggesting.”

“What does that mean?” the cook asked as he removed the meal from the heat and began preparing their bowls with the deliciousness.

He hesitated, not wanting his news to spill dinner, and suggested, “Let’s sit and eat while we talk more. It’s about those future plans I mentioned earlier.”

Bewildered, Uriel finished dishing up the bowls of drowning noodles and sat by the hearth, where they normally ate since they didn’t have room for a proper dining table and this worked just as well most of the time. He motioned to set the bowls on the low set table in front of them as he finally said, “Lord Wayland offered to adopt me.”

In a complete reversal of expectations, the cinderen burst out laughing.

“I’m not sure what you find funny about that.”

“Oh, Daze,” his partner wheezed, “You know not to work me up with too good of a joke.”

“I’m not.”

“You must be! The Blade of Pure Wrath, the Lord Paladin of the Avenger, Paul Wayland, wants to adopt a man that he’s continually been critically harsh on? Who rarely praises anyone. The same man that threatened to kill us if he thought we might hurt his Protégé? Are we talking about the same person?”

“Yes, actually,” he said, maintaining his sincerity. He needed to make sure Uriel fully understood the proposal that would alter both of their lives, “He gave me compelling reasons, laid out most of the expectations, and suggested making it official sometime after the Call-to-Arms but before the blood moon is over.”

Uriel’s laughter had slowly died while he had been explaining and the grimace that had replaced it was not promising as the cinderen asked, “You’re actually serious? You would become Dazien Wayland?”

He nodded and Uriel then asked, “And you declined, right?”

The hint of hope in that question confirmed that this was not going to be a pleasant conversation either way as he admitted, “I told him I wanted to talk to you first… but I’ll admit that the more I think about it… the more I realize I want it.”

The mage swallowed and the low voice broke slightly as Uriel almost whispered, “Are you… Are they going to force me out of your life? Are you leaving me?”

He leaned forward to place a hand on his partner’s hands which were now clenched together as if in silent prayer and he stated firmly, “No. Never, Senesh. I can be a king with you by my side. I don’t need any noble lord’s support or deity’s blessing in order to accomplish that, so I would never abandon you for such a thing.”

A molten tear fell down the cinderen’s ebony cheek, leaving a glistening trail in stark contrast, and then the man’s face went blank. Dazien recognized that look. Despised it. But not for any fault of Uriel’s. Instead, he leaned back and said softly as he picked up his bowl, “Lord Wayland said you could stay by my side and live with me still; at the Wayland estate.”

Then he began eating, waiting for the magic of the earrings to wear off, or to answer any questions his partner might have in that state of unfeeling. Uriel copied his movements instead, picking up the other bowl to eat quietly for a few minutes. While the cinderen was in that state of uncaring, he decided to info dump on the mage, going over everything that Paul had offered and his own thoughts about it all.

The party leader also went over the high-level plan for after the blood moon was over, pulling out the journal that Paul had given him to show to the man. He finished the meal during that time and continued to speculate, writing down more notes they thought of on the pages.

He could tell when the earrings’ magic let up, actual micro-reactions to his words beginning to show as the cinderen processed everything. “Going back to the original lead-in to this whole conversation, though,” he added, finishing with the long explanation, “Becoming a Wayland would certainly be a good reason for Phoenix to stick around even more than some romantic escapade.”

Uriel finally gave a barely perceptible smile, “I’m not sure becoming labeled as her adopted sibling’s partner is better than being her friend.”

“You can be both.”

“Have you noticed that you really like picking the ‘both’ option?”

He chuckled, “Why settle for only one when ‘both’ is obviously better?”

“So what would you call them?” the Mage asked curiously, “Would you start calling Lord Wayland ‘dad’? That just feels so weird to say aloud.”

The Defender laughed and nodded, “Agreed,” then he thought about the first part more and considered the man in front of him as he said slowly, “You know, since we’ve been together as partners, I’ve hesitated to call anyone my sibling. You got so upset at me for calling you ‘brother’, after all.”

Uriel grumbled, “Only because I kept having to repeat myself that I was definitely not your brother.”

He laughed, “Yes, I was almost as oblivious then as Phoenix is now when it comes to taking a hint but we had been nothing but friends for so long,” he trailed off at the memories of their time together at the Temple of the Parent and the man’s awkward non-confession after they had left it. The warrior chuckled at the mental image, “You made it very clear eventually that you didn’t have brotherly feelings for me and that mine were misplaced.”

Dazien looked down at the journal in his hands that bore the Wayland crest on its cover and realized that Paul had somehow managed to make the flower the same shade of amethyst as his nails that rested upon it. It was a tiny detail but one that he realized was how the stoic man expressed that care was put into the gift. This journal hadn’t been grabbed at random, it was chosen for him. 

He smiled and finished his previous thought, “I think in Phoenix’s case, however, I may have finally found a sister.”

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