12 - What I Want (Patreon)

Phoenix followed Uriel around the small space as he grabbed more items for her to stash in her collection for easy transporting. It felt a bit… intrusive to help store the items the long-time friends kept at their home whenever they were off fighting monsters and interdimensional wars.

The single set of dishware for each of them. The worn loveseat and chair next to a low table that she didn’t believe had been designed that way based on the broken legs. The single bed that –she realized with a blush– was barely large enough to allow them both to sleep on.

There was a single picture on the mantle of the two men as younger teenagers. A scrawnier Dazien with a tiny paper crown –who must have been only thirteen or fourteen– with an arm around the collared neck of a disheveled Uriel looking like he wanted to be anywhere else than standing in front of the temple of the Parent with the boy who would be king. 

Phoenix thought it was adorable. She wondered if there was a ritual for copying pictures and then decided to ask Everin before resorting to another trip to the temple of the Scholar. 

As Bliss finished eating the last treat, the chimera shifted back into the small midnight kitten and languidly rubbed against Phoenix’s leg with a purr before begging at Uriel’s feet. She snorted a laugh as the cinderen gave in and lifted the kitten up and onto his shoulder as he said, “I know you’re not too full to climb up, you spoiled thing. You’re basically a black hole if my pantry is anything to go by.”

Phoenix chuckled at the exchange. Looking back at the magically drawn picture, she didn’t bother asking the Mage if there was anything he wanted to leave behind. She’d make sure to grab it all. So she simply ordered, “I can finish up here. You should go and let your landlord, or whoever, know that you guys are moving out tonight.”

Uriel shook his head but looked more amused than annoyed, like he was indulging her as much as the instantly-sleeping cat on his shoulder, “You’ve been hanging out with Dazien and Rayna a bit too much, it seems, with such assured confidence like that.”

She grinned and teased, “Well, you do make a good sparring partner already but does that mean you’ll actually listen to my orders too?”

The cinderen gave a low laugh, “Maybe, but I trust Daze to not abuse the authority too.”

Her smile slipped a bit at that, the mood suddenly feeling spoiled, as she replied, “Ah… and you don’t fully trust me yet…”

He frowned, those ember eyes scanning her face, and she couldn’t help but look away. Then he said, “I didn’t mean it like that. I do–”

“It’s fine,” she interjected, wanting to chase away the feelings currently clawing at her chest, and lifted the picture in her hand, “You haven’t known me nearly as long. I understand.”

The picture vanished into her collection with a shimmer of silver starlight as she walked aimlessly to grab anything left, “If you want to keep paying for this place, that’s your choice. I just didn’t want you to think you needed to.”

“It’s not that,” he said, moving closer, “I already agreed to move when he decided to join House Wayland but I’m leaving the choice of canceling it to him.”

She glanced up and asked without thinking, “Don’t you ever choose things for yourself?”

Uriel’s brow raised in surprise, then seemed to hesitate while gently stroking Bliss’ furry back as he asked, “Would you think less of me if I said I don’t want to?”

“I–” she hesitated as well, not expecting the question or what it might imply, “I don’t know. Part of me thinks so. It’s something I always wanted but even after arriving here and being able to… it feels as though I’m just choosing things that please others. Which isn’t really a bad thing, but I’m not sure it’s always what I want.”

The Mage moved back to the kitchen area to hand her the remaining cookware in the cupboards as he explained, “Before I met Daze, all the choices I made felt like the wrong ones. They turned out to break more than they fixed,” he paused to give Bliss another scritch behind the ear who gave a big yawn but remained asleep, “After I met him, there was only one thing I chose for myself –only one person I discovered that I wanted– and I wouldn’t trade him for the world.”

He stood again and met her eyes as he asked, “What is it you want now?”

“To go shopping!” Kara said from the front door where she stood waiting on them, “So hurry up so we can get to the fun part!”

“I still don’t understand why you didn’t just go with Saiya and Rayna. They like shopping way more than we do,” Phoenix called back to the impatient voxen while making more cookware vanish.

“Because I want to understand you both better and you can learn a lot about a person based on how they shop,” the Obsidian Caster responded like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

“Like the things we buy?” she inquired.

“Not telling ‘cause then you’ll act weird and self-conscious about it,” the Paladin retorted before gesturing towards the hallway, “So let’s gooo.”

Both she and Uriel chuckled at the childish behavior the centuries-old woman displayed. “I think there’s something she really wants to buy,” the Mage noted with a smirk, handing over the last baking sheet.

“A barrel, apparently,” Phoenix informed with a roll of her eyes, “No idea what that’s about.”

“Ah,” the cinderen replied simply, “That makes sense.”

“How in the world does that make any kind of–”

“She’s probably a Sundance voxen. They are a bit infamous for their love of barrels,” the knowledgeable Mage explained, “Not all voxen are but it’s a pretty common thing in their culture, more so on the other continent of Alkupera though.”

Phoenix felt like her translation ability must have broken somehow as she clarified, “We are talking about the same object, right? Circular wooden container that stores like… I don’t know, fish or oranges or whatever?”

Uriel gave her another amused look as he repeated, “Fish or oranges?”

“I only remember seeing them on pirate ships in movies!”

He laughed, “Yes, wooden barrels that contain things, such as pranking voxen kits on unsuspecting persons going to retrieve a fish.”

She paused at that mental image, totally picturing Rayna jumping out of a barrel to make her soul instantly flee her body. Then glanced back out the front door to the large nine-tailed monstrosity of fur and spoke again without thinking first, “I don’t think you could fit in a barrel, Paladin Fairweather.”

“Rude,” the voxen replied with a flat look then shook her head and said with a sigh, “But understandable from someone who thinks barrels only go on pirate ships. Voxen make the biggest and bestest barrels, though.”

Uriel frowned and moved to look out the entryway as well as he spoke, though much more cautiously than Phoenix had, “I hate to disappoint you, Paladin Fair–”

“Please, just call me Kara you two. Those titles are such a mouthful if we’re going to be spending a lot of quality time together.”

His frown became more of a reluctant grimace at that proclamation but he continued, “I don’t think you’ll find the kind of barrel you’re looking for. Such a niche item–”

“Will be an adventure to find!” Kara finished for him with a toothy grin, “Now hurry up!”

Uriel glanced around the completely empty apartment and felt… everything.

He hadn’t put his earrings back on since Kara had arrived and let them stop fighting for their lives and all the lives huddled within the city walls. He was feeling better about striking the balance between keeping himself under control with the jewelry so he could focus more on fighting while his Silencer was removed versus his own efforts when going about his daily life.

The confusing and almost overwhelming swirl of emotions that currently ran through him as he looked at the husk that held the memories of the last six years of his life was a prime example of what he had been missing out on. The arguments, the laughter, the quiet moments sitting by an unlit hearth while wrapped in as many blankets as they could scrounge up.

It wasn’t a glamorous life by any stretch of the imagination but it was cozy and safe. A refuge from the harsh world outside that scorned both men sheltering within it. Now it lay barren and alien and the sense of loss was palpable.

For just a moment, he unclasped the collar around his neck that stifled his senses and closed his eyes as he took a deep breath through his nose. He scented the lingering spiced meat that Bliss had devoured, pleased that he could bring her joy with something he created rather than destroyed. A smile tugged at his lips at the mental picture of her hasty munching.

Beyond that was the kicked-up dust from moving everything but it also held hints of what had seeped into the space. Metal and polish from Dazien cleaning his older shields and armor, the lavender-scented soap he used to clean the dishes, countertops, and clothing, and the sweet fragrance of clematis flowers that Dazien always smelled like for some reason –like sugar, honey, and vanilla all intermingled.

Newer than all those scents was the almost cleansing aroma of the dawn. Crisp and cold from the preceding darkness but warm as well, like a thawing flower. It was hard for him to compare Phoenix’s scent to any others as the combination incited more of a feeling than a specific object. It was just… her.

“I’ve been previously informed that you should put that back on before someone more nefarious than I witnesses you breaking your rules,” Kara’s voice whispered in his ear without him ever sensing her move.

Then the Sunlight Champion’s scent hit him and it was like getting punched in the face with the sun itself. Hot and blazing, sweltering and suffocating, like it might be able to burn his lungs if he kept breathing it in.

The Mage coughed from the burning sensation and offered dejectedly, “I’m training my perception ability…”

“Mhm,” the voxen murmured, obviously not wanting to believe him, “Nice excuse. Are you trying to stall us from shopping?”

He refused to look at her as he felt his eyes roll at the thought. The Crystal Caster doubted his actions would be a good enough reason to keep the Obsidian from her goals but was certain she would be able to read any hint of deception from both his body and aura. She had a better sense of smell than even he did, and he could pick up certain emotions from the scent people gave off when he wasn’t Silenced; fear, anger, and attraction were the easiest, but deception was a close second as the fear wouldn’t match the words.

So Uriel replied simply and honestly, “No.”

The Mage finished reclasping the collar around his neck and Kara asked, “So what exactly are you trying to perceive?”

“Anything wrong?” Phoenix asked, walking back to the pair from where she had been waiting with the voxen in the hallway.

“I was just double-checking we didn’t leave anything,” he lied, then winced as Kara’s eyes narrowed at him and he added, “I was also giving it a final smell.”

“Smell?” the Wayfarer asked curiously, sniffing the air for a moment before saying, “It just smells like the meat that–oh! I forgot your perception ability is scent-based. How much more can you pick up?”

He chuckled at the insatiable curiosity that was on par with Dazien’s and he thought that shared trait was the most sibling-like thing between them so far. “Mostly the people that have been here before… There’s a lot of memories I’ll be leaving behind here,” he admitted softly to his friend and gave Bliss’ fur another pet, “No more coming home to a sneaky kitten beggar.”

Phoenix looked around the small space with a bit more thought then smiled up at him as she said, “I guess you and Daze will need to make a bunch of new memories at our new home now.”

The cinderen shook his head, ponytail tangling slightly with cat-tail, “Yeah. I guess it’s also a new beginning instead of just an ending.”

“Yes, yes, it’s a very touching and momentous moment,” Kara interjected, moving past them towards the hallway again, “Now let’s go before I carry you all myself.”

As he moved to follow, fully believing the threat after what she had done to “collect” him from his meeting for Dazien’s ascension, Phoenix stepped in front of him and snagged his arm, halting his momentum, and asked gently, “Hey, Uriel?”

“Yes, Princess?”

“What is it that you want now?”

Her emerald eyes seemed to be searching his and he felt the tug at his heart to tell her everything. To tell her exactly who he was, who he had been, who he wanted to become and hear her accept it all with understanding words. To know that she wouldn’t ever push him away. To not be the Annihilator he had been turned into.

An impossible wish.

His eyes flicked up to the golden lie detector watching them curiously. He silently cursed the surge of emotions, wanting him to pour his heart out right then and there, but he settled on a half-truth, “For our party to withstand the test of time and stay together.”

Phoenix gave him a brilliant smile and rolled her eyes, pulling his arm along to exit the apartment, “Well, that’s obviously gonna happen. If the gods stepped in to keep my mentor alive, I’m pretty sure you’re all safe.”

“Then I guess I’ll pray to the gods that you’re right,” he replied with a chuckle and locked the door behind them.

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