Chapters 61 & 62 Revised (Patreon)

These were tough to finish, and even now, I think I could spend another week looking them over.  Hell, I could spend a lot longer than that, but I don't want these this revision process to take forever.  I can always come back and give them another pass.

I think I'll just drop the chapters right here and save my thoughts for after.  As always, let me know what you think of these changes in the comments down below!

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Chapter 61 - End of Enrollment

Original 

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Compared to Gaius and Leon’s duel, the rest of the combat test went by with little in the way of excitement. The rest of the nobles sparred with each other, though none did so with the same ferocity and brutality as Leon had demonstrated. However, there still seemed to be a strangely tense air about the room despite this seeming lack of hostility, the kind of tension that comes from people knowing that they had a wild animal loose in their vicinity and weren’t sure when it might snap.

Leon himself was aware of this attention, for many of the nobles kept on glancing at him with varying degrees of obviousness. The two nobles who sparred first, Alcander and Marcus, seemed to be the most overt, but when Leon met their blatant curious gazes, neither blinked. Marcus even gave Leon a respectful nod.

They were the outliers, though. The more Leon looked around the room, the more he saw the other nobles turning away from him, averting their eyes as if they didn’t want to be caught staring. To Leon, it seemed like hardly any attention was being directed toward the nobles who entered the sandpit.

Leon wanted nothing more than to vanish from existence. Anger had made him challenge Gaius, but now he regretted every swing of his blade. He wished Gaius had just kept his damn mouth shut, that the noble hadn’t felt the need to introduce himself. He did his best to just not pay attention to the rest of the room, but it was difficult when it felt like everyone was staring at him when he wasn’t looking.

It became even harder when Gaius returned about ten minutes later, looking only a little out of sorts, and sent a brief glare Leon’s way. That one look came with a hint of killing intent; not enough for Leon to feel like he was about to be attacked, but enough for him to know that he’d probably made an enemy today.

It was to Leon’s tremendous relief that the Tribune finally called an end to the combat test following the last pair of nobles finishing their duel. The nobles made a bit of a show congratulating each other, though not one person spoke to Leon—though he wasn’t too broken up about that. He did notice that Gaius seemed a little quiet, too, only offering his congratulations to the woman in blue.

The Tribune led them outside and directly to a building just a few hundred feet away—none of the rest of the command staff followed, leaving the nobles to finish their enrollment test without an audience.  The building they were led to was just a boring administration building with little in the way of decoration, but it was the site for the written test.

Leon barely processed anything about the building, so in his own was he from the previous test. He only managed to bring himself back to reality and to stop replaying the duel in his mind when they were brought to a room which was filled with forty small cubicles. Within each was a table, an extremely comfortable chair, and a stack of papers. Leon and the rest of the nobles were given their own private cubicles and left alone to complete the written portion of their test.

Leon didn’t begin the test immediately. Instead, he just sat back in his chair and took a few minutes to just revel in the relative isolation of the cubicle. To say that the last hour or so had been hellish for him would be to put it mildly, and he needed a bit of time to compose himself and make peace with what he’d done to Gaius.

‘Shit, I’ve barely been here a few hours and already I’ve made an enemy!’ he complained silently. For a brief moment, he contemplated just leaving and not completing his enrollment. He knew that making his way through the Knight Academy wasn’t his only option to find out who was responsible for the fall of his family, but the more he thought about it, the more certain he became that it was still the best option he had. It would take decades if not a century or two for him to accumulate enough power to begin his investigation if he were a guild mage or some other private citizen, and by then any trail that might’ve been left would be long gone. He needed to be a part of the government if he wanted to actually find his enemies before they went to ground or before they found him first.

He just hoped he wouldn’t regret his decision to stay. The embarrassment he felt after losing control in his duel with Gaius was starting to fade, allowing him to think back on it with a little more clarity.

He didn’t regret what he did now as much as he did when he still had to endure the stares of the other nobles. Gaius had gravely insulted him, and Leon knew he hadn’t the eloquence to make a verbal retort. No, the duel was his only option to save what pride he possessed.

So, with his conviction that he was doing the right thing reinforced, Leon finally turned his attention to the written test and got started.

The test wasn’t long, but thanks to the time he spent thinking, Leon was the last to finish.  As he turned everything in, the bored Tribune told him the results would be posted in a week outside the main administration building of the Academy, and that he would receive further instructions then.

With all that done, Leon took his leave.  He had finished enrollment, and he was quite ready to leave this place. It had taken several hours, and he was starving.  The thought of a late lunch at the burger place was the only thing that was keeping him going.

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Gaius Caecilius Tullius was a proud young man. He came from a powerful Ducal family, even if their power was limited mostly to the Southern Territories. They still had money, influence, and a prestigious name, and he took great pride in all of it. He was fiercely protective of it, and he based much of his identity and sense of dignity upon that connection.

When the barbarian defeated him, it was more than just a personal loss, an embarrassment he had to endure in front of all of his peers and fellows—and her—during the enrollment test. To say that Gaius was livid was to ludicrously undersell the magnitude of his anger.

Through sheer force of will, Gaius managed to hold himself together without disgracing himself further following the defeat that Leon gave him. He was too mortified by his public loss to speak with the other nobles, he didn’t even stick around once the written test was over. He knew they’d all look down upon him for his humiliating loss to the northern savage, so there was little point in doing anything else other than returning to his family’s local estate.

However, as soon as Gaius was left alone in House Tullius’ palace in the capital, he screamed in anger and frustration, lifting his plush armchair and smashing it against the ground, his mind projecting the savage’s smirking face onto it as Gaius’ anger turned it into a pile of wood chips and scrap textiles.

But that one act of destruction wasn’t nearly enough. Gaius’ heart madly beat, his anger raising his blood pressure until he heard nothing but the roar of blood rushing through his veins. His eyes spun around the room, seeing the condescending look the barbarian had given him when he delivered the final blow and the looks of pity and derision his fellow nobles had displayed when Gaius woke up.

With a furious roar, Gaius slammed his hands down upon a nearby table, smashing the intricately-carved wood to pieces. Next came the rich shelves and cupboards that lined the walls, the rest of the chairs, even the sofa in front of the hearth. All of it Gaius destroyed, venting his fury and frustration on it.

Finally, Gaius’ eyes landed upon the last unbroken piece of furniture left, a silver mirror hanging above a desk. It was a gorgeous thing, but the gleaming silver frame reminded him only of her hair.

Gaius had lost in front of her. He’d been made to look weak in front of her. He wanted to believe that she was as angry about this as he was, he wanted to think that if just asked her about it, she’d tell him that it wasn’t a big deal.

But he knew better. Even if Valeria wasn’t now laughing about this behind his back, mocking him with the rest of her friends and all the other nobles who’d borne witness to his humiliation, the same couldn’t be said of everyone else in that room. The enrollment test had been over for barely two hours and Gaius knew that the entire city had probably already heard about what happened. They were all probably laughing at him, every one of them.

‘He did this…’ Gaius thought, his thoughts finally turning back to Leon. He felt nothing but hatred for the sneering, arrogant, repulsive savage. He was a product of such inferior breeding and yet he dared to do such things to Gaius, his superior in every way!

Gaius knew that he had no other option. To regain his pride and honor, to regain the ability to look the woman he’d someday make his wife in the eye, he’d have to seek his revenge.

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Leon awoke the morning after the enrollment test quite tired and a little apprehensive about the day ahead of him. He and Charles had agreed to take a day off from training, though Leon was loath to set it aside completely. As a result, Charles was sleeping in, but Leon had other things he wanted to do during the day.

The most pressing of his tasks was to visit the capital’s Heaven’s Eye Tower and arrange for the purchase of the ingredients Xaphan needed for his potion. The demon needed a kick in the pants to start his recovery, and since he’d be providing Leon with power at the same time, Leon was only too happy to comply with that request.

The fact that he’d seen that Elise was in the city was certainly not a factor, of that he was sure.

Still, he made an effort to properly prepare himself anyway. He shaved what little hair was on his face, took a long shower, did what little he could with his short hair, and dressed in the cleanest and sharpest outfit that he had. Finally, he finished with a short half-hour meditation to center himself and prepare himself to deal not only with the world at large, but also with the bold and beautiful Elise.

He wasn’t sure if he was going to run into her or not, but he figured that it was better to be prepared than to leave it to chance and wind up embarrassing himself. Again.

[Well aren’t you just the cutest little thing, getting all dolled up like that,] Xaphan said mockingly.

[Screw you, demon.]

[Looking forward to meeting that Elise girl that much, are you?  Do be a dear and try not to utterly embarrass yourself this time. The way you acted when the two of you met had me so mortified that I couldn’t even speak! A partner to a Lord of Flame ought to have more composure than that…]

Leon had no words to respond, but his face immediately grew bright red. Whether it was anger or embarrassment that had his face flushing up, he couldn’t entirely say, but he thought it probably a mixture of both.

[Hmmm… ‘Elise Raime’.  Has a nice ring, doesn’t it? Hey, is there any way I could convince you to name your first-born after me?]

[Enough, demon.]

[No, no, you’re right, I shouldn’t be so presumptuous. After all, there’s no way a shy little cherry boy like you could ever get a girl like that.]

[Shut up.]

[Yeah, she probably wants someone who is actually capable of talking to her without his face glowing brighter than me.  But hey, you never know, maybe she’s into charity and will give a little bit more than the time of day. Honestly, though, she probably just saw your aura and decided to go prospecting, if you know what I mean. So just keep that in mind while you’re drooling all over your shoes when you see her next—]

[I’M GOING THERE FOR YOUR DAMNED POTION! Maybe I shouldn’t bother, I can just as easily stay here and read instead.]

[All right, all right! You need to lighten up, kid, I was only playing around a little. Besides, there’s no guarantee she’ll even be there, right?]

Leon sighed. Xaphan was right about that last bit, at least, Elise might not actually be at the Tower.

[What was that sigh? Relief or disappointment at the idea?]

Leon clenched his teeth in annoyance, but he had no answer for Xaphan. His heart was beating fast and his hands were shaking slightly, but it could just as easily be from anticipation than dread.

Regardless, he soon left his room and went to get some breakfast. He’d have to keep it light, though. The last thing he wanted to worry about was eating too much and heaving it all back up out of anxiety.

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Chapter 62 - Chance Encounter

Original 

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The Heaven’s Eye Tower in the capital was nearly identical to the Tower in Teira, save for the sheer number of people who went there to socialize with their friends and business partners. It was the hangout of the rich and powerful in the city, a place for refined and wealthy people to congregate and socialize, a place where they could receive the attentions of the Heaven’s Eye attendants, some of the most beautiful people in the entire Kingdom.

Most of the people in the huge lounge were doing just that, spending time with each other, talking over food, going about some of their less important business. In one fairly out of the way corner that gave a fantastic view of the rest of the huge lounge and all of the people in it were three young women, recently reunited after returning to the capital after having spent several years apart, communicating with each other only by mail.

One was darker skinned than what was usual for the Bull Kingdom, with the deep natural tan of the natives of the Samar Kingdom across the Gulf of Discord south of the Bull Kingdom. She was dressed in a red and yellow dress and wore a warm and inviting smile on her beautiful face.

The second had the looks of a Bull Kingdom native save for rather unusual long silver hair and was dressed in a blue skirt and white jacket. If anyone had been tempted to try and approach them by the first woman’s inviting demeanor, they would swiftly have that temptation killed for the second woman had an attitude that looked cold as ice that promised nothing for anyone who might disturb the three of them.

The last was dressed in an elaborate black sleeveless dress that reached her ankles and had a slit up to her thigh, complimented with a pair of long black gloves that extended past her elbows. She had piercing green eyes that shone like the finest of emeralds, long red hair that fell down her back like a river of fire, and the kind of figure that could inspire lust and envy in just about anyone who saw her.

These women were Elise and the two noblewomen who had taken the enrollment test with Leon the day before.

“… but every time I tried to get within range, you would skip around me! It was sooo frustrating! I could barely even touch you!” Asiya, the darker-skinned woman, exasperatedly complained.

Elise had been curious about how her friends had fared during the enrollment test, and Asiya had been quite eager to sate her curiosity. The power and written tests were boring and could be ignored, but Asiya narrated the combat test with enthusiasm, energetically gesturing and almost acting out the first duels right there in the booth.

“Perhaps you should train a little more, prepare yourself to face anyone with any weapon,” said Valeria, the silver-haired woman, with an expression of cold dispassion that was broken only by the shallowest of smiles sent Asiya’s way.

“Hey! I train plenty! You’re just a monster with that spear!” Asiya pouted.

For a moment, a tiny smile of pride appeared on Valeria’s lips when her skill was brought up, but it was gone so fast that only her two friends saw it. “Well, then we should just train together. Maybe some of my monstrousness will rub off on you.”

“Yeah! Let’s do that! What about you, Elise? You need to train too, right?”

Elise smiled and laughed at the thought. “Oh, I don’t rely on violence so much here. Besides, ascension through the tiers of magic doesn’t necessarily need warrior’s training, right? But I would love to train with you two regardless, even if all I do is sit there and watch.”

“But you should join in! Come on, it would be so fun!” Asiya almost reached out and grabbed Elise’s arm, but restrained herself.

“Oh, I’ll consider it. By the way, did anything else happen during that combat test? Something unexpected, maybe?” Elise had seen Leon at the training field, and she couldn’t imagine that his appearance there wasn’t attention-grabbing.

“… There was indeed some unexpected excitement,” Asiya answered. “A Valeman was there, and he challenged Gaius Tullius! Everyone thought the Valeman would lose, but he beat Gaius so badly he passed out from embarrassment!”

“I don’t think he passed out from the embarrassment,” Valeria muttered as she remembered the vicious strike Leon made against Gaius’ spine when the nobleman tried to rise after being beaten down.

“I’ve never met the Young Lord Tullius, but I’ve heard that he has some talent with the blade, how was he beaten so quickly?” Elise asked with a knowing smile.

“Gaius is quite skilled,” Valeria confirmed. Elise fully believed her, for Valeria’s father was the Exarch of Calabria, a trading city that lay on the Naga River and bordered Gaius’ home Duchy. The two had known each other for years, and Elise had even lent her ear once and a while to Valeria’s complaints about his attempts to court her a couple years ago. “This Valeman, however, was unrelenting and came at Gaius with the kind of savage ferocity that Gaius didn’t seem to expect. A bit naive of him, given who he was fighting against.”

“What was this Valeman’s name?” asked Elise. She felt it was obvious who this Valeman was, but she wanted to be sure.

“I think it wa—" Asiya suddenly cut herself off. Her eyes widened in disbelief and she stared at the young man who just walked in through the Tower’s front door and stood there just past the doors looking a little lost. “That’s him! The guy who just walked in!” She wasn’t so rude as to point, but she did indicate where she was looking with an emphatic nod.

Valeria looked over at Leon, but her icy expression didn’t even flicker. Elise, however, allowed a devilish smile to appear on her face.

“Leon…” she whispered, just loud enough for Asiya and Valeria to hear.

Asiya turned her eyes towards her friend with a look of shock. “Do you know him?” she asked.

Elise nodded at Asiya, before apologizing as she rose from her seat. “I’m sorry, but this is something that I really ought to take care of…”

As Asiya and Valeria stared in surprise and wonder, Elise walked towards Leon with an ethereal grace.

Leon didn’t notice her approach. The air was filled with the single most delicious scent he had ever experienced, and his eyes were glued to the restaurant adjacent to the lounge where it was wafting from. He was tempted to walk over and see what it was, but before he could, Elise walked up and lightly tapped his shoulder.

Leon was momentarily startled and almost drew his sword until he turned and saw Elise’s familiar bright green eyes and impish smile.

“What a coincidence, seeing you here, Leon!” she said with a wide and welcoming smile.

Leon’s face immediately lit up with an unabashed smile, though it quickly disappeared as his cheeks went a bit red. He could see a few of the other patrons giving him dirty looks, though whether that was because he was an outsider or because he was talking with Elise, he wasn’t certain. Regardless, he didn’t want to look weak in public and did his best to keep his expression stoic and unreadable.

In that, he was only moderately successful.

“Wasn’t… uh, expecting to see you here,” Leon said, his voice only a little bit shaky.

[HA!] Xaphan was watching, as he had little else to do until Leon got those potion ingredients and couldn’t help but loudly laugh at Leon’s obvious lie.

Of course, Leon knew she’d be here. He wouldn’t have put so much effort into preparing himself this morning had he not been expecting her. The past month and a half had helped him get a little more used to being out among people, so combined with his mental preparations, he felt a little more confident in his ability to talk to her.

“I was only in Teira to get away from the capital. Ajax is my uncle, and his Tower seemed as good a place as any to get away for a while.” Elise flashed him a radiant smile, then moved a little closer. “So, what brings you here? Looking for something in particular? Or are you just here to see me?”

Leon’s heart raced and his blush deepened, but he was still able to form words. “Yes… I need to find some, uh, ingredients… There’s a potion I need to make…” He stumbled a bit on his words a little, but Elise’s smile only grew wider, helping to soothe his anxiety.

“Oh… That’s disappointing, I was hoping you had come here to see me…” She pretended to pout and gave him a heart-melting look of disappointment.

“I have to admit…” Leon hesitatingly began, “… that this matter wasn’t time sensitive. Could’ve come here at any time to get these ingredients, but… well, I’d hoped to run into you…”

With that admission, Elise’s expression changed startling quickly, turning into a brilliant, beaming smile.

“I’m glad you decided to come here, you’ve already made my day that much brighter,” she replied. “But we can talk about that later. You’re here for business, so let’s get that business out of the way right away.”

Elise took his arm, causing Leon to freeze up a little in instinctive displeasure at the unexpected physical contact, but since it was her, he held his tongue and did his best to ignore the side of him that was demanding more personal space. Besides, her touch was light and more suggestive than demanding, though she did quite easily steer him toward the back of the Tower, toward the magical lifts that would take them to the other floors.

So taken was Leon with her at that moment and so in his own head about his behavior that he didn’t notice her rather blatantly glancing over to the corner of the room where Asiya and Valeria were sitting, watching their every move. Asiya was staring with something that resembled awe and wonder, with a hint of playful admiration at Elise’s decidedly bold behavior. Valeria, meanwhile, remained quite cold and inexpressive, but Elise knew her silver-haired friend well-enough to recognize the surprise and acceptance in Valeria’s demeanor.

A moment later, the two stepped into one of the lifts and Elise activated the runes to take them to the second floor.  That was where all the merchants affiliated with Heaven’s Eye gathered and was the best place in the entire city to find rare and valuable materials.

“So what ingredients are you looking for?” she asked as the lift began to move.

“A core from a fifth-tier fire beast, a feather from a fourth-tier bird possessing wind magic, and a century-old Kagu flower,” Leon replied, most of the uncertainty and anxiety in his voice vanishing as he composed himself and focused on the task at hand.

Elise looking thoughtful for a moment.

“I’m not sure about the Kagu flower, those are rare and only grow in places with a high density of fire magic in the air, but the other two shouldn’t be too hard to find since they’re less specific. Still, I think we should be prepared to have to make some custom orders; as prepared as Heaven’s Eye is, we don’t have absolutely everything in our stocks.”

When the lift doors opened, Elise lead Leon to the most reliable merchants, but unfortunately, they couldn’t find any of the ingredients Xaphan needed. They asked around for almost an hour, but all to no avail. In the end, Leon was forced to place a formal order with Heaven’s Eye that Elise facilitated for the organization to find the ingredients for him.

“Heaven’s Eye will send a messenger to you when we find what you’re looking for. All you need to do now is wait.” Elise closed the distance between herself and Leon and lowered her voice to an intimate whisper. “For now, how about we go downstairs and talk a little? I’d like to get to know you better… Or if you like, we could continue to look around some more, surely you need another weapon or some armor, too?”

‘Armor? How did I forget that?!’ Leon thought with a little panic. He glanced around at the merchants around him and saw a few pieces of armor, though none that could be said to be particularly well-made. They were also fairly expensive, going for thousands or tens of thousands of silver coins.

Leon shivered a little when he thought of the potential cost of getting armor custom-made if these were the prices for generic armor. He had a small mountain of money left for him from his family, but he still balked at spending so much of it at once even on something so critical as armor. For now, he decided to simply wait and see what kind of armor he should be given during his training. He doubted he’d need better armor for a while, anyway.

“I should probably get going. I slacked off a bit today, and I need to get some training done. I want to enter the Knight Academy as ready as I can possibly be.”

This legitimately disappointed Elise more than she expected, but she didn’t pressure him to stay. They’d already had almost two hours together, and that was more than enough, at least for now.

“Of course. You’ve some august company with you this year, and you need to be on top of your game if you’re to distinguish yourself. But don’t be a stranger, if you need anything at all, you know where to find it.” she said quietly, her smile fading a little as she took a step back. Leon gave her a small smile and gently nodded.

Together, they silently returned to the lounge. Elise didn’t hang on his arm this time, giving him some space, and despite his initial reluctance, Leon was a little disappointed that she didn’t make that move. He briefly considered making one of his own or of trying to spark up some kind of conversation with her, but he wound up spending so much time trying to think of something to say that the lift doors opened before he could say anything at all.

So, Elise escorted him to the Tower’s door and there they said their goodbyes. Leon walked away with none of the ingredients that he’d gone to Heaven’s Eye to acquire, but he still left in a good mood. As far as he was concerned, it had been time well-spent.

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So, I'll just jump right in.

As with the previous revised chapters, I think the biggest changes made here have to do with the cuts, but even then, most of the cuts I made were fairly small.  The biggest change I think I made was in cutting the entire bit with Tiberias' introduction.  Tiberias' obsession with Elise can be introduced later, and I think I'll be making it much subtler, at least from Leon's perspective.  Tiberias will mostly be the handsome, dignified noble that other people see him as, and the attempted assassination as Leon heads to Fort 127 will be quite shocking to him.  It won't be to us because we'll see his thoughts on occasion, but I still wanted to push that back a bit and focus on Gaius as an antagonist for now.

Honestly, I think I'll probably be cutting Tiberias entirely in a future revision.  One of the reasons these chapter are coming out today instead of last week is because I was really indecisive about his inclusion and needed the extra time to decide what to do with him.  He and his family are just relevant enough in subsequent arcs, however, that I decided not to do so during this round of edits.

I also added a section with Gaius that I'm a little iffy on.  I felt like we needed a glimpse into his perspective since it got cut in previous revised chapters, but it still feels like its missing something.  What that is, I'm not entirely sure, but I know that I'm not entirely confident in its execution.

I don't really know what else to say at this point.  These chapters actually ended up being longer than I'd anticipated, as I'd originally thought I'd be merging them into one single chapter - this also contributed to the chapters coming out today instead of last week - but they turned out to be substantial enough that I split them up again.  No lie, I'm a little bit disappointed that my planned consolidation fell through a bit.

Anyway, I think that's enough of my rambling, I hope you like these revisions! =)