YOUTUBE DEPRESSION MONGRELS (Patreon)

I'd like to know from you guys what you think of these current wave of YOUTUBER's waffling on about depression and how they suffer.  I know this sounds harsh. I've suffered depression, and still do and yeah I am not completely cured because there is no cure, and it has and does greatly affect my life and relationships. I see lot of people saying that they are depressed and shit, and use it as an excuse to gain sympathy. This Cayleigh went on her channel, couldn't  even bother putting a brush though her hair, stuck a stereo-typical "I suffer from depression look on her face" then went on for 24 minutes announcing she is leaving YOUTUBE, while telling us she could not be on too long because her mom was going to bath the Dog, while making sure she puntuated ever second sentence with how she is going to be doing a big sale on all of her merchandise.

I believe YT is disproportionately full of people who have issues. There are exceptions but most well-adjusted people do not make YT their life. But I can't help believe that these people are attention seeking and that  many of these  you-tubers were depressed and lonely before getting into YT. They use YT as an outlet, an attention they can't get in real life and that these are their motives. The week before Cayleigh Elise made the announcement, she was tweeting "I have a major announcement coming up... , even did a tease video, even with her leaving she can't help but perform to the gallery and click baiters. Once on camera it was laughable her just sitting there like a stinky unbathed mess, greasy hair, half open eyes, okay bitch we get it, your depressed, don't turn it into a fucking sideshow! 

Guess what, life sucks, I have had shit in my life happen that keeps me up at night where if I think about it tears roll out of my eyes even in public places but I get the fuck on with it, what other choice do we have? Suffering is part of life and all of us have shit in out life.. But why must these people turn this into it being about them instead of it being about the human condition? Just listen too Criminally listed stutter through a video and the occasional shot of him flogging merch (at least his body tells me) clearly the guy is a looser and I know that seems harsh but he is one of those faceless people who walk the streets unnoticed, the type a girl wouldn't notice unless she ran over him and got caught in her wheels yet on YT he has found something and can even direct people to his website to answer questions about himself, so why aren't these people just grateful they have this?

Allot of these people on YT create a YT persona and end up "net famous" then realise at some point that people are responding to the persona, not the real person. When the camera is off, they have to actually live with themselves and function in the real world. When I present I am part character , part real me but I don't confuse the two and I think allot of this may be other You tubers problem.

I mentioned this in my ZIPLOCKED Ep that you got a guy like Rob Dyke being interviewed (and I do realise I go on about this guy but in my limited experience with YT he really for me seems the most detestable) and it seems he is literally creating his own reality, with tales of being a bodyguard , a Private detective and a Journalist things that are beyond laudable, and yet people are taken in, the things I say about myself are truthful and generally pretty easy to check up on, but when someone like Dyke says he is voicing a Game Of Thrones PS4 game, this is only an internet click away from being discounted, so why does it go unchecked and more importantly why does this person say something that can so easily be revealed as a lie? Obviously he like many others, seeks validation from the internet. 

I got a troll message the other day and perhaps it is unfair to say troll maybe it's just a misled dick head but the guy (from Pakistan or some place like that) said why don't you leave Rob Dyke alone he is half your age and he is one of true crimes biggest starts. Now no matter how laughable that is.... And it is pretty funny, this dude believes what he is saying, now what my age has to do with it and how he knows my age I am unsure but in away it shows how blindly people want to proceed with following other people, unequivocally without questioning things.

I went to Japan in 2010 when I was offered to shoot a Zombie Film for a major video game company, it ended up a nightmare and through creative differences I left the project midway through. At this point unemployed in a foreign country and not wanting to return to England where I wanted to avoid a troubled past I stayed on and ended up Directing cooking and lifestyle series with people like Martin Yan, Anna Olson, Chuck Hughs to name a few. It was after doing this for a few years that I realised how far I had strayed from film making, journalism and even music video directing, things that I was trained in but at this point, I was caught in the reality of doing 2 series a year making allot of money staying in luxurious accommodations and it was my life.

In 2016 I had a dream about Darlene Prioriello a person I knew as a kid who was murdered and I woke up in a hotel room in some foreign place and googled her and absolutely nothing came up except a very amateur website by Terri Prioiello reminding people of the brutality of her sisters murder and why her killer needs to remain in jail. It was this point with some off time in I think it was Malaysia that I decided to make the film on Darlene's murder because I felt Darlene needed someone to let the world know what happened to her but also if this sick fuck Dave Dobson got out and was working in a factory somewhere, a place where one of you or your children may be working and they google him, they will know despite what management tell you, you are working with a brutal killer! I uploaded this to a YT account id had for years but never used and forgot about it.

Fast forward a few months later and I log onto the YT page and there is an overwhelming amount of people saying that Darlene's film was the most real, stunning documentary on a film they had ever seen. Message and message from people saying they had never heard of the crime and how angry it had made them and thanking me for giving Darlene a voice. Now at this point, the accolades of "you should do this for a job" don't mean anything to me because I was already doing it for a job, what really meant something , meant more than having a beer back stage with Metallica or interviewing the prime minster of England.... was and still is.... that I am bringing an injustice out and doing it in a way that is different from anyone else. A couple weeks after this and Terri contacted me and she said "are you the person who made this film I need to talk to you". I was fucking terrified, I thought she was going to tear me a new asshole. She gave me her phone number and she was euphoric on what I had done and told me that everyone from Dobson's defence lawyers to cops to parole officers had contacted her about it with the same question "WHO THE FUCK MADE THIS FILM?"

For me this is what it was all about, I am an agitator and always have been, I enjoy stepping on toes and upsetting people but at the end of the day, I don't need anyones approval to make me the person I am, I do what I do at this point because I believe there is an audience that enjoys it and if depression becomes too much I will walk away from it and won't show up disheveled on camera with a look on my face like aI just ate a shit sandwich doing a 25 minute video on how I mentally ill while still fitting in Im having a big Merch sale and on the flip side I won't be flogging mental health services to the masses.

Now  no one mentioned BETTER HEALTH and Rob Dyke in the comments section of ZIPLOCKED , id be interested for you to let me know now.

Excuse my poor writing, Im a television writer not a Blogger but I thought it may be a nice change I write something, or attempt to write some, please as always tell me if this is something you'd like to see more of....if so don't expect my spelling or punctuation to improve TAKE ME AS I AM!!!!