Midnight Pals: Oklahoma Fursecution (Patreon)

Franz Kafka: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the guy who turned into a cockroach
Steven Boyett: god i wish we were in oklahoma
Boyett: they wouldn't tolerate this degeneracy
Boyett: this perversity
Boyett: this
Boyett: this furversion

Poe: what? what's happening in oklahoma?
Boyett: oh haven't you heard?
Boyett: the good patriots of oklahoma are gonna make furries illegal

Boyett: furries will be illegal in oklahoma!
Boyett: any kid caught pretending to be an animal will be arrested by animal control!
Boyett: this is the greatest day of my life!
Boyett: at least since the something awful lolocaust!
Boyett: yiff in hell, skunkfuckers!!

Boyett: we'll finally be free of the scourge of furry!
Boyett: no more big titty vixens!
Boyett: no more twink rabbits!
Boyett: no more comics where a ditzy genie accidentally misinterprets your wish and turns you into a sexy horse girl!
Boyett: and no more fucking protogens!!!

Poe: steve i don't think this law is going to pass
Poe: it sounds like another long shot power grab capitalizing on a moral panic
Boyett: shut up!
Boyett: shut up!!!
Frank Belknap Long: [arriving, breathless] friends i have terrible bone-chilling news
Poe: we already heard, frank

Long: this is blatant fursecution
Barker: haha sure i
Barker: wait a second
Barker: wow, he's
Barker: he's right
Barker: jesus christ i can't believe he's right
Barker: they finally did it
Barker: they made fursecution real

Long: this can't be allowed to stand!
Long: this fursecution won't just affect me
Long: but every protogen, every sergal, every chakat
Long: it's a real problem!!

Boyett: furry will be illegal!
Boyett: that means none of this tf bullshit, franz!!
Kafka: b-but
Long: now steve everyone knows that cockroaches don't count
Boyett: yes they fucking do!
Boyett: it's still anthro!

Long: no no
Long: it's not furry unless it's hot
Boyett: what the
Long: that's just science
Barker: yeah that scans

Poe: what's this all about?
Barker: they crossed the book-banning moral panic with the anti-trans moral panic
Barker: to declare war on the limitless reaches of a child's imagination
Poe: do you think joanne knows
Barker: oh i'm sure she's keeping her ear to the ground

[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: what newsss from america
Allison Bailey: great news dark lord!
Bailey: oklahoma is going to ban furries
Rowling: good, good-
Rowling: i mean wait
Rowling: what?

Rowling: foolsss!!! blundering nincompoopsss!!
Rowling: we've tried the furry moral panic before
Rowling: like literally 5 timesss
Rowling: that dog won't hunt!!

Bailey: oh but this time
Bailey: this time will be different, dark lord!
Rowling: no it won't!
Rowling: not even americanss will fall for that litter box sscam!

Bailey: our terf deatheaters had so much success outlawing trans kids
Bailey: we thought we'd extend the moral panic to furries too
Bailey: this time, we can't fail!
Rowling: see that you don't!
Rowling: we must win the war against the limitless reaches of a child's imagination!!

Rowling: and then
Rowling: when imagination iss illegal
Rowling: when playing pretend is banned
Rowling: when whimsssy is prohibited
Rowling: the children will have to turn to the one form of entertainment ssstill legal!
Rowling: Hogwart'sss Legacy!!!