Midnight Pals: Hogwarts Legacy (Patreon)

[mysterious circle of robed figures]
Helen Joyce: ok listen when the dark lord gets here
Joyce: nobody mention that hogwarts legacy didn't get a single award nomination
Joyce: she's going go through a lot
Joyce: you know with all those duct problems in her castle

Allison Bailey: i have an idea
Joyce: yeah?
Bailey: you know how i lost that court case but i just told everyone online that i won?
Bailey: what if we just did that?
Bailey: i mean that's kind of our thing in general
Joyce: delightfully devilish allison

JK Rowling: hello children
Helen Joyce: dark lord! congratulations on hogwarts legacy sweeping the game awards!
Rowling: what?
Joyce: oh yeah absolutely, it won, like, every category
Joyce: just massive numbers of awards
Joyce: lots of them

Rowling: iss that ssso? weird, they didn't tell me
Rowling: usssually when i win ssomething, they ssend me a trophy
Joyce: oh no no no
Joyce: they didn't want to clutter up your scottish castle with more shabby old awards
Rowling: that'sss true
Rowling: i do have a lot of awardss

Rowling: what awardsss did i win?
Joyce: oh you know umm
Joyce: like the number one top video game award
Joyce: for
Joyce: uhhhh
Joyce: most pixels
Rowling: oh yeah hogwartsss legacy did have a lot of pixelsss

Rowling: what other awardsss did i win?
Joyce: oh you won the
Joyce: the golden mousepad
Joyce: for
Joyce: excellence in
Joyce: uh
Joyce: pushing
Joyce: buttons?

Rowling: i can't believe hogwartsss legacccy didn't get a ssingle nomination!
Rowling: how iss that possssible?!
Rowling: itsss got blood libel
Rowling: i wass under the impresssssion that wass really big right now!