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Yikes… It’s a really good thing I found you pantsed and wedgied before anyone else did! Here, let me take you to the nurse’s office, help you out of that atomic wedgie and find some more clothes. I told you that confessing to your crush, my bully, was a bad idea! I knew she would refuse you! I knew that you should have just dated me, your best friend, instead. But don’t worry, I’m still here, and its not like any of the other girls would ever date you!

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