Emergency! Replacement Santa Needed! (December 2020 Request) (Patreon)

Monthly Audio Winner: Jack Smith

"Emergency; Santa replacement needed! You're a security guard at the mall and Christmas is coming, but the usual  stand by can't do the job. Your manager pulls you aside as the other guards aren't as "qualified" to *fill* the role.

But you're still a little shy of the size they need, the manager is going to help you out, with some extra fattening Egg Nog, and a funnel. Hopefully they don't get too excited and make you too overqualified."

Merry Christmas, everyone!