Chapter 50: The Colossal Cock (Tame Version) (Patreon)

Author's Note

This chapter has 2 versions, this censored version that has no inappropriate cock jokes, and then the uncensored version. There is no significant difference in the story, read whichever you feel comfortable with.

Seeing the Supreme Elder's gaze turn their way, Dusty puffed out his chest, his eyes sparkling with anticipation. He nudged Nomed, his voice barely a whisper. "The Grand Elders thought I had no talent, but it was them who had no eyes," he bragged. Dusty was sure that word had gone around concerning his rapid comprehension of the Gluttonous Titan technique and now the Supreme Elder himself was impressed.

Shaking his head at his friend’s antics, Nomed remained silent, he felt a strange feeling in his belly as though something bad was about to occur.

As the Supreme Elder approached, Dusty's grin stretched wider. Looking down at his round belly, he murmured to it, "Stay patient, my friend. Being the disciple of the Supreme Elder means you can feast to your heart's content."

Ever since he could remember, Dusty had a special place in his heart – and stomach – for chicken. It was his ultimate comfort food, the one thing that could bring joy to his big-boned frame. Nomed often joked that nothing fueled Dusty quite like a well-fed chicken.

Dusty remembered that one particularly incident when he snuck into Grandma Sully's henhouse. The plump hens clucked obliviously, unaware of just how delicious they looked. He was so close to grabbing one when he heard that old crone’s voice, "You naughty boy, you're going to end up just like your father, gobbling your way to the grave! Haven’t you got a lick of sense?"

Caught red-handed, Dusty panicked. With a half-caught chicken in his grip, he did the only thing he could think of – he bit into the chicken, feathers and all. One bite was all that he needed to realise it was a terrible idea, quickly he spat out the feathers and gave Grandma Sully his most innocent face.

Grandma Sully was not fooled.

Shaking his head to dispel the memory, Dusty rubbed his healthy-sized belly and whispered, "No more sneaking around after today."

But as Slifer walked past him, Dusty’s smile faltered, and he watched baffled as the Supreme Elder stopped in front of his best friend.

A smile appeared on Slifer's face as he looked at the status window.

Name: Nomed

Realm: 1st Stage Qi Refining

Known Techniques: N/A

Known Affiliations: Black Rose Sect

Disposition: N/A

Comprehension: 6

Luck: 7

Talent: 8

Will: 8

These stats... the boy’s average performance doesn't match his stats at all. A hidden gem… or is this perhaps the storyline where the protagonist hides his true talent to infiltrate a sect for some secret mission, he mused silently, a knowing glint in his eyes.

If stats were all it took to gain the System’s interest then the System would have identified Kalin as a potential disciple. Slifer suspected that there were more requirements, he just couldn’t figure out what they were, and the System was more than happy to not help him.

Nomed, feeling the Supreme Elder’s unsettling smile linger on him, tried not to fidget. I did everything I could to remain unnoticeable, but this old man still noticed me!

Looking at the young man's innocent, simple face, Slifer couldn’t help but assume, this kid probably entered the demonic sect hoping to turn it into a righteous one from the inside, much like how some girls think they can transform their leather-jacket-wearing, motorcycle-riding boyfriends into card-carrying members of the "Pajama Party Posse."

Eh, it doesn’t matter if he hid his talent intentionally or there were some other reasons why he performed terribly, what I need to do now is make a good first impression and complete this mission.

Standing tall with his hands clasped behind his back, Slifer raised his chin slightly. With his eyes half-closed as if peering into the depths of the universe, he subtly activated the Whimsical Wind Card, a card he had previously thought was useless.

A gentle breeze began to swirl around him, causing his robes to flutter dramatically. For teens who had almost no experience with cultivation, the effect was striking, the naïve disciples began to gasp in awe.

"Look at the Supreme Elder's aura."

"He…he looks like an Immortal!"

“I…I want him!”

Pretending as though he didn’t hear the last comment, Slifer coughed as he focused his attention back on the protagonist before him. "Young man, would you…would you like to be this old man’s disciple?" he asked.

The surrounding disciples' awe turned into shock.

"This nobody has caught the Supreme Elder's eye?"

“How lucky!”

“This…I refuse to believe this!” One of the city boys even began to repeatedly rub his eyes in disbelief.

As for the Grand Elders, they exchanged confused glances. They couldn’t fathom the thoughts of the Supreme Elder; Nomed was so... average. However, recalling how Slifer had effortlessly killed Grand Elder Darius, they wondered if there was something in the boy that they couldn't see.

Nomed, feeling slightly overwhelmed by the sudden attention, was frantically trying to think of a way to reject the Supreme Elder's offer. He realized, with a sinking heart, that there was no logical reason he could give that would be accepted without drawing more attention to himself.

Why is it so hard to stay low-key? he lamented inwardly.

Forcing a smile, he tried his best to appear excited and bowed repeatedly. "Thank you, Master."

Slifer, observing his new disciple's enthusiasm, stroked his beard in satisfaction. It's always good to have loyal disciples, he thought. From the simple look of the kid, Slifer could tell he would be a loyal one.

Ding!

New Task

Complete Master-Disciple Ceremony

Success!

All Slifer had to do was complete this annoying ceremony and then he would gain the mystery reward for completing the mission. The task had been far easier than Slifer expected. He had initially worried the System would pick someone with typical xianxia protagonist problems: tragic pasts, vengeful enemies, or cursed bloodlines that attracted calamity. Thankfully, so far Nomed seemed refreshingly normal, just a village boy whose family had yet to be wiped out.

"Grandma Sully was right, I will die a miserable death, death by starvation," the whisper from the fatty beside his new disciple brought Slifer out of his thoughts. W-why does he remind me of myself…?

"Master, would it be possible for you to also take Dusty as your disciple?" Nomed asked, not being able to bear the look on his friend’s face.

Slifer frowned slightly. He knew that the System wouldn't allow him to take in more disciples; if it did, he would have chosen Kalin. But he didn't want to upset his new disciple so soon, that would happen later when Nomed realised that he was being worked like the sla-, disciple he was.

Turning to look at Dusty, Slifer activated Insight.

Name: Dusty

Realm: 1st Stage Qi Refining

Known Techniques: N/A

Known Affiliations: Black Rose Sect

Disposition: N/A

Comprehension: 3 (8)

Luck: 8

Talent: 2

Will: 2

Eight in bracket? Hmm, his normal comprehension must be pretty low but if he has affinity with the technique then his comprehension shoots up to eight? Sounds about right. Slifer stroked his beard as he looked at the meatball-shaped human pouting at him.

But he is a lucky one, it couldn’t hurt to have him on my side…

"I have someone else in mind for him," Slifer mumbled as he sent out a spiritual transmission.

As if on cue, the disciples heard a grunt from above, they looked up to see a fat, bald man jumping down from a sword. Landing with a heavy thud next to the Supreme Elder, the man bowed deeply and said, "Master."

"Morvran," Slifer acknowledged with a nod. He then pointed to Dusty and instructed, "I want you to take this one as your disciple."

Morvran's eyes narrowed as he surveyed Dusty. "This one looks like he needs a lot of work, Master, but I will try my best."

Dusty, feeling slighted, shook his chubby hand at Morvran. "Don’t imply I’m fat, I'm only big-boned," he protested.

Morvran shook his head, his expression serious as ever. "You’re not worthy of being called fat, boy," he replied as he puffed out his belly to demonstrate his own impressive girth. "You have much more growing to do."

Dusty's eyes widened in awe. "Wow, you look like you have a Grandma who actually loves you," he exclaimed.

A rare sense of pride appeared on Morvran's face. "I have no need of a Grandma, if you follow the Way of the Cock then you can attain this physique one day!”

Morvran's statement seemed to ignite a new fire in Dusty. He looked at Nomed, his eyes once again shining. "Nomed, I'm gonna be just like this fat guy!"

The Way of the Cock…Slifer thought, a smirk threatening to break his wise master facade. However, he knew that Morvran was deadly serious.

Cocks, in the cultivation world, were reputed to be greatly beneficial, especially for those who cultivated their bodies. He recalled a tale from the Immortal Realm about a colossal cock, a creature so formidable that even immortals would flee at its sight. Legend had it that this immense cock had sired numerous offspring, and consuming the meat of these various descendants could potentially unlock the rare bloodline of the Great Cock.

From the vague memories he inherited, Slifer remembered that the original had given Morvran a cock-related cultivation method. The old man must have wanted Morvran to unlock the Great Cock bloodline, Slifer deduced, why that was, Slifer didn’t know, but knowing his predecessor, it wouldn’t have been out of goodwill.

Shaking his head, Slifer decided not to question Morvran's teaching methods. If Morvran wants to teach his disciple the Way of the Cock, who am I to disapprove?

The Disciple Selection Ceremony continued, with the other Grand Elders making their selections. Grand Elder Lydia found two suitable disciples for the Medicine Hall. Although they lacked the innate talent of the Wizeron Clan's usual recruits, they held enough potential for her to invest her time in.

Grand Elder Wyatt chose William as his disciple. Slifer, only half-paying attention, noted that Grand Elder Tenzin selected a boy from the Jexlarin Clan, but he couldn't recall the boy's name. They all look the same, Slifer thought, grateful for the Insight skill. Without it, I might have walked away with some random kid thinking it was Nomed.

William clenched his fists as he watched the Supreme Elder depart with his new disciples. How could he overlook me for a mere village boy? A boy who is only fit to be my servant! Despite his rage, William forced himself to focus on the bigger picture. He had successfully entered the sect, fulfilling the 'man’s' orders. As long as I follow his instructions, my clan will remain safe.

"I hope you don’t regret your choice, Supreme Elder."

***

In a dark cave, void of any natural light, five spiritual figures stood in a circle. Each figure was cloaked in a hooded robe, their identities obscured by the shadows that clung to them like a second skin.

"The plan was successful," one member announced, their voice echoing off the walls, "the agent has entered the Black Rose Sect."

Another member, their voice tinged with a hint of arrogance, retorted, "Like I said before, the Luminaresce Quartz is not difficult to trick. If those old fools in the sect had listened to me, there wouldn’t be such glaring holes in their defense."

The first figure hesitated before speaking again. "Even though the Luminaresce Quartz was tricked, the outcome was not what we were hoping for."

A third figure shook its head. "No matter, as long as the disciple entered the sect, that is what's important."

The fourth one, agreeing with a nod, added, "You need to make sure they secure one of the spots for the Sealed Realm."

Then, the fifth figure, who had been sitting quietly, stood up. "Once the Awakening is successful, war will follow." The figure’s voice caused the spiritual forms of the others to tremble instinctively as though they were in the presence of a higher being.

The figure paused and took its time to look at each of the other figures, its gaze piercing through their blurred forms. "Prepare for war," it commanded.

One by one, the spiritual figures nodded in unison. Then, as if they were mere mirages, their figures slowly dissipated into the air.

As the last of the figures vanished, a strange mark appeared on the cave floor. It was a tree, its branches twisted and gnarled. In the centre of the trunk was an eye, unblinking and unsettling, as if it were watching everything.

The eye bled a crimson tear before it too disappeared.

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