0022 - Woman who yells in pain when Homer steps on her foot (Patreon)

Listen, I know. I KNOW. This is absurd.

I considered this for longer than I should have. I was so excited to start the actual show, the first real episode of this iconic series. Watching the episode, notebook in hand, my eyes glued intently to the screen. Following a brief car journey with Homer and Marge, we arrive at Springfield Elementary, ready to enjoy a Christmas concert full of wonderful faces, familiar and obscure for this project. And as Homer takes his seat...this lady yelps in pain.

She has, I would estimate, roughly four seconds on screen.

So, obviously, this was a weird one to make a final call on. Does a yelp of pain count as a line of dialogue? I certainly don't have a production script handy to see if she is more fleshed out there. Is this an essential Springfieldian? Should she "count" in our obsessive cataloging?

So here's the compromise I have reached: she is in the official numbered count, but I will include her as an "extra" entry this week, and do three instead of two.

While we're here, we might as well give her a backstory, this will be her only time to shine. I'm imagining her name is...Crindy. Homer addresses the man sat beside Crindy as "Fred", so I'm assuming they are married. They're here to see their son, Nikoli, in the Christmas pageant.

It's been a rough year for Crindy and Fred. Y'see, Fred lost his job as an accountant, the firm let him go following budget cuts, and money's been tight for the family. They're trying to keep on a brave face for Nikoli, but he can tell something is up. Crindy thought she'd be grateful for the extra help around the house, at least temporarily, but Fred barely lifts a finger, and has begun drinking more. Is he even trying to look for a new job? She's not sure. She might have to go back to her old job waitressing at Krusty Burger just to make ends meet.

But for tonight, for one night, they thought they'd try and forget about all that to enjoy a night of entertainment. Nikoli has been nervous all week, but he has a voice of an angel, so Crindy is sure it'll be a magical evening. She's so proud of him. She's willing to turn a blind away from the whiskey Fred slammed before they got in the car (he thought he was being subtle; he wasn't), but she wishes that when Nikoli asked if his father was proud of him, Fred had given a better answer than "Uh, yeah, sure."

And then she gets her foot stepped on by a lumbering oaf before the show starts. It hurt physically, but also she was surprised at how much it bothered her. It was the straw that broke the camel's back.

This was a turning point for Crindy. This was the moment she said to herself "I can't keep living like this." She put on a brave face for Christmas, but in January she made a vow to make a positive change. Crindy and Fred went to couple's counselling - it's hard work, but it's a start. Crindy started selling the necklace charms that she'd been making in her spare time, and the business took off more than she was expecting! She opened a small craft store in Springfield Mall. And Nikoli's seeing the positive change too, his grades are improving. He's joined a boy's choir, really flourishing. They're not a model family, they never will be, but they're doing the best they can.

Here's to you, Crindy. You did it.

This post is part of my "Every Simpsons Character Ever" series. For a list of my rules in this project, click here.