A Message from Sean (Patreon)

Communist greetings,

Hello everyone. First off I'd like to thank all of you for the support of The Antifada. It's been very heartening to get such great feedback for a project that I've put so much of my heart into. That people are willing to throw some dollars our way is amazing and I hope we've lived up to your expectations.

With that said, I'm announcing to that I'm taking an indefinite leave of absence from the show. It's best to get ahead of it anyways, since you've probably noticed I'm missing from some recent episodes and I'd hate for you to think I got renditioned to a CIA black site or got caught up in the Epstein case or whatever.

Not many of you have met me and probably just know me as some guy who pops up on your feed once or twice a week and shitposts from the Antifada Twitter account . I wish life were that simple. I'm an intensely private person, so this doesn't come naturally to me... but maybe that's the point of this post.

About 18 months ago, around the holidays, my baby brother, Justin, committed suicide at the age of 30. I was his primary caretaker at the time and did all I could to help, but it just wasn't enough. After putting him to rest I spent several months grieving - a grief like I've never felt before and hopefully never will - and tried to continue on with my life. I got back to work, started a podcast and just attempted to plow through life.

As it turns out, since that time I've been neglecting to deal with my loss. Around the anniversary of his death my life began slowing crumbling around me. My career has suffered. I've self-medicated. I've withdrawn from family. I've pushed my friends away. And now I've reached the breaking point.

So, yeah, I'm going to go clean up and take care of myself for a while: therapy, counciling, meditation, etc. Mostly I just need to find myself again after too long avoiding my pain and withdrawing from life. Unfortunately, that means that I need to put my own mental health ahead of the podcast, but I'm sure you all understand.

If this whole missive seems a little TMI and intense for a Patreon post going out to 1,300 people, I guess part of it is you all deserve an honest explanation of why I'll be gone for a while. Maybe the bigger part of it is that I feel the need to unburden myself of all this and, by coming clean about it publically, that might be a step towards getting well.

So, thanks again everybody. Please take care of yourselves and those around you.  If anybody has any suggestions for others about good mental health services link them in the comments below. Politics is important, but none of us can be any good for the movement if we're not good to ourselves. 

Love and solidarity,

Sean KB

P.S.  I've already done the work for HIAW5 and a few other things, so expect those in the coming weeks.

P.P.S. Unrest is best!