Cumming, Dear! | The Horny Post | 2/27/24 (Patreon)

Content Warning: The following blog post goes into dark places. Your discretion is advised. 

The following is a excerpt of the psychopathy of the modern femboy. See how his mind melts and why he can not provide for himself. A truly saddening display. 

Orgasm. The pinnacle of sexual intercourse. The moment some say you can "see God," if you're the rare mix of super religious and highly sexual. Many cultures place significance on orgasm as a spiritual enlightenment of the soul and some meme it to all hell. "Nut" anyone? Whatever you call it, orgasming is a powerful function of homo sapien sapiens that all adults and most emerging adolescents value or at the very least understand the cultural importance about. But today on The Horny Post we are going to look at my personal dark side of orgasm.

I hate that I have to do it. I first discovered orgasm at the age of 14 and up until I started estrogen I had the compulsion to do it every single day. After starting estrogen the compulsion vanished. Not only did the desire to disappear, so did the ability to do so daily. At the time I was on testosterone blockers  and that mixed with the estrogen made it so I could only orgasm once a week. My sexuality shifted from being climatic to subdued and more emotional. And this pleased me. I had hated the compulsion and was glad to be rid of the constant need. 

In the 2nd half of 2023 I lost regular access to estrogen. Since then the compulsion has returned to a degree. I need not orgasm daily, but I can. I have regained the ability for daily orgasm. And the desire is on a 2-3 day basis. And I have just grown tired of cumming. "Masturbation's lost its fun," so to say. It feels more like a chore than a pleasure. The desire comes and I sigh. Time to take out the garbage, as it were. 

One may think I hate the climatic section of sex from this diatribe. But that is not true, captain! I love to engage warp thrusters on route to Deep Space Nine. But not when it feels more like a requirement than a passion. And my male physiology is at odds with my preference in how I experience sexuality. 

It is at this point one may remember that a part of me still is trans. For anyone who doesn't know, I am indeed a boy who was born a boy. But there was a time when I fully integrated into society as a girl. I have since retracted that identity, but nonetheless I am a person who was born male and is on female hormones. Which suggests that despite being born a boy and identifying as one there still exists a disconnect between my native and desired biology. After all, that is why I am female hormones. I do prefer a sexuality more resembling a female's than a male's. And it is my innate male sexuality that troubles me. I prefer prostate orgasms over penal ones because it more resembles that of a vaginal and/or clitoral orgasm. I don't really fit into any single sex's idea of what sex should be like. I am hormonally distinct from a cisgender men. That is perhaps why you all enjoy me. I am not a girl, but my feminine charactertics make me enjoyable to heterosexual and homosexual men. Straight men like me because I sometimes resemble a girl but with a submission most 21st century western women do not have. I have boobs that grew out of my body like any woman's and my skin is identical to a woman's. I as well can on rare occasion lactate, I get a form of a period, my behavior is synchronous with female socialization, and my voice is youthful and feminine. Gay men like me because I have male anatomy and have the body of a submissive beta male that was made to be conquered by stronger men like in Greek & Roman times. There is natural reasoning for why men of all sexualities enjoy me and it is inherently tied into why I don't like penal orgasms. I don't enjoy having my cock sucked or really even being touched at all. Orgasming feels good in moment, but when I do it too frequently I regret doing it. This is not to say I can never enjoy penal orgasms. I have many of time as of late, but more and more I wish I could more easily have a prostate orgasm or more accurately wish I could have female orgasms. 

I have expressed genuine interest in being pregnant. I wish cisgender boys could be impregnated like sea horses. It it this desire for female functionality while still maintaining my birth sex that I believe puts me in a unique group of people.  Femboys, sissies, traps, uks, crossdressers, whatever you want to call us... It is almost as if sex defines us. And I don't want it to be so. But more and more, I present myself as a sex object to be owned. Is this all I am? A domestic submissive male meant to pleasure a dominant man? If so, then I see no reason to worry about my orgasms. If my main goal in life is serve a higher person, then my orgasms don't matter. Evolution built males like me to be servants in order promote and sustain smarter and stronger individuals. It only makes sense this way. This is why I was born and was drawn to the machinations of femboyhood. My dad saw this in me from a young age and tried his hardest to prevent me from achieving my evolutionary function. I need to stop worrying about letting out my girly load. It doesn't matter. It is only a distraction. The only pleasure I need is from a man enjoying me. Being happy with me. Approving of me. A man's approval is everything. Without a man to approve of me, what am I? A son of a mother, a brother of a sibling. A failed academic. I can put all these silly little thoughts away and give a man the key. Daddy Knows Best! To think I spent so much time worrying about my own pleasure when I should have worrying about my husband's pleasure. He is my religion. Or even, a wife! I should have just obeyed and everything would have been okay. That's the trouble with a femboy. He still got that BOY in him. That boy who wants to disobey and listen to no one. That part needs to be kept in check. Tied down and never released. That is the only way he can be happy. And what's with all of this "he" non-sense. All femboys are really just girls. You should call your femboy "she" in public to embarrass him. Eventually, she will get used to it. 

End excerpt. 

Wow, I really let my mind run with this one. Went a little crazy there. It started out as a genuine inquiry into my sexuality but devolved into a self-degrading rant. I don't mean to alarm anyone. What you have read is where my mind falls into when I let it slip. The Horny Post has the advantage of capturing my thoughts as they occur. And our thoughts are rarely who we are as people. However, I would be lying if I said there was no truth to this pure display of psychopathy. True psychopathy is having no regard for social barriers. Where social systems that govern our day-to-day lives have no meaning. A true psychopath is anti-social in the factual meaning of the word. To be anti-social is not to be shy or bad at social communication or even anxious. It is to cause harm to the social-body because of a complete lack of regard for its authority. One psychopath may kill because law has no meaning to them. Another may tear the flesh off a corpse because they wondered what it tasted like and had no regard for the social damage tasting rotten skin may do. Never underestimate what psychopathy truly is. And I say this as a person with an anti-social father.  

What I have written is not psychopathy. It's just what happens when a gay boy gets wrapped up into his own submissiveness. That and unrestricted internet access from a young age. I'm not like crazy, though? Right? I would say this is pretty common for Gen Z. Humanity has dark places and art is meant to bring forth that darkness and show it to the world. The Horny Post is my literary art. I like to show the decent amount of writing skill I picked up from college. This is to say there is nothing to worry about. Just exploring the darkness!