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Okay, this is the big one. I hate myself for liking anime and watching hentai with a fiery passion. Please don't hate me for this one 🥺

Like many an American kid, I got into anime from 4Kids' dubs of famous anime like Dragon Ball Z Kai. I only ever saw up to the the start of the Android arc, but my brother and I enjoyed it greatly. I remember a time when were very young and were rushing to take a bath before the next episode came on.

After the 4KIds days, I didn't watch anime for years. That was until my step-brother introduced me to Death Note. I've been pretty much watching anime occasionally for years and even read a few dozen manga volumes since then.

As I watched more and more anime, I noticed that the portrayal of women characters became deeply disturbing. Children or children-like women being portrayed with impossibly large breasts dressed in clothes that are meant to elicit sexual gratification from male audiences was too much. It honestly feels like a good chunk of anime is p*dophile bait meant to milk the bank accounts of the mentally disturbed.

An ex of mine was also into anime and he had figures of underage anime girls with sculpted vaginas & fully modelled breasts. I later learned my now dead grandpa did too. And I cannot help but feel these things are made for pedophiles to get their kicks.

So here is my dilemma. I enjoy anime, but I find it hard to separate from the pedo-bait. When it's not characters who look under 13, it's fully formed women being very lewd. Which I also take issue with, but that is also apart of American culture and I feel less disturbed about woman sexual exploitation than I do for child-like & genuine child characters being exploited. I understand that the age of consent is Japan is 13, but it doesn't make me feel any less disturbed by 14 year girls having their naked bodies being violated by Shinji Ikari and it being portrayed as an, "Uh-oh, oopsie." It's not funny. It's not cute. It's disgusting. It calls to mind 40 year mangakas lusting over teenage girls.

I am currently reading Jojo Part 7: Steel Ball Run. There is a 14 year old girl character named Lucy Steel. Putting aside she is married to an adult, there is a cover of a manga issue where she is completely naked and is covering her breasts and lady parts with her hands with a pleading face. It has nothing to do with the story. It's just there for men to gawk at. I know the author, Hirohiko Araki to have been in his 40s when writing Steel Bal Run. What am I meant to make of this?

 (Not the image in question because I refuse to show it)

So, I hate myself for being an anime enjoyer. I feel like I am supporting the system that makes underage girls & boys (the same thing happens in yaoi but with boys instead) okay to be sexualized. It gets all the worse when it comes to hentai.

I do watch hentai. I think it's fair to say that most men who an internet connection have at some point. I like it because I see myself as the girl. It's hard to find gay hentai, so I result to straight hentai a lot where I can place myself in the girl's situation. What disturbs is that most hentai either has 14-17 year old girl characters (with adult voice actresses) or adult women who are meant to look like teenage girls. I go to find the rare hentai that has women who look like actual adult women. I even found one where the woman was like 55 but looked 30. But still, I hate myself for indulging in hentai the most. I sometimes think there must be something wrong with me to enjoy the idea of being taken & used the way the women are in those hentai episodes.

Clarification: Despite my rage, I do not think most anime fans are p*dophiles. I feel most feel the same way I do. I do think there may be a higher percentage of them in the anime community (of which I actually knew a few 💀), but that is all. There is nothing wrong with enjoying anime or manga or even hentai. And not all anime even has this type of fan service! Attack On Titan was a surprisingly gender equal show where no one got sexually exploited for fan service. I really liked that about that anime. And no one complained that it didn't have it, which tells me that most fans aren't watching anime for it. And that perhaps it will become less common as time goes on. Anime can be great!

Comments

Frosting the Birthday Clown

Explanation Point (a very good youtube channel) has some very good essays on this subject, over harm vs enjoyment. I recommend The Problem With Problematic Media - You (Probably) Aren't a Bad Person, The Thousand-Year Loli and Philosophical War, and Made in Abyss, Eromanga Sensei, and the Biggest Problem in Anime, as they make good arguments on this subject.