A Simple Life: Chapter 118 (Patreon)

I do cry for a little but with Grandpa there to hug me and console me it was only a couple of minutes.  It was a strange feeling Mom had brought out in me with her secret.  I was definitely hurt.  But I was also…relieved.  Without meaning to she had filled a little gap in the puzzle that was my life.  I had always known that I was different from the others.  I had always sensed concealed emotions lingering in the eyes of my mother and father.  One of those emotions I now knew to be resentment.  For them I was an unwanted burden.  I knew that now.  And it helped make everything else make so much more sense.  Besides, as I just said to Grandpa, not being my dad’s real son was no bad thing by my reckoning.  He was already physically absent from my life.  Now I could cut him from my heart as well.

Another thing this moment made me realize was that Buttercup still sometimes needed his Grandpa after all.  I loved Winona to bits but only Grandpa’s care could have brought me back up so easily from something like this.  I felt so very, very blessed to still have him here.

He hid it well as he consoled me, but I had never seen the man as angry as he was right now.  Hearing what my mother had told me hurt him just as keenly as it had me but, as her Dad, it came with the bitter thorns of disappointment.  Even if it was one step removed he felt responsible for his daughter’s cruelty.  The better he made me feel the more I tried to return the love.

“It’s not your f-fault, Grandpa.”  I tell him.  “P-Please don’t be sad.  I’m okay now.”

He looks at me, touched to his core at my concern.  “Aw Buttercup.”  He pats my cheek in that Grandpa way of his.  “You are more than okay.”

After another long hug we take our seats again.  I sip my tea as he slurps his coffee and watch the world drift along around us.  “I w-wonder who he is.”

“I’ve been thinking back and…I don’t have a clue.  But I intend to find out.”  Grandpa says.  “Do you want to me to find out Avery?”

“Um…I think so.  Yeah.”

“Then I will try.”  He says.  “Do you want me to tell you if I do?”

“Y-Yes Sir.”

Reaching across he pats my hand.  “I’ll let you know.”

“Do y-you think he’s nice?”

“Probably.”  He says.  “Most folks are good underneath it all.”

“Yeah.”  Pulling my mug to my face I take a long inhale to take in the bitter green aroma.  “He p-probably has a f-family.”

“A man that age, quite likely.”

“I w-wonder if h-he’s handsome.  Or s-smart.  One of the p-professor’s maybe?”  I say as my imagination begins to create a fuzzy image of my biological father and his perfect life.  “P-Pretty wife.  I b-bet h-he’s really nice to his kids.  G-Girls I b-bet.”

“Who can say.”

“Mmm.”  I sip my drink and swirl it around my mouth before swallowing.  “Whoever he is, h-he d-doesn’t need to know.  About me I m-mean.  If he doesn’t already.”

“That’s your decision, my boy.”  Grandpa says.  “But if I were him I would want to know.”  He shoots me a warm look.  “Especially if it were a fine, honest man like you.”

I smile.  “You always know wh-what to say.”

“I just say what’s in my heart, Buttercup.”

“Yeah.  I l-like that.”  I say.  “Winona is like that too.”

“I know.”  He nods.  “I could tell.”

“She l-l-lets me be me.”  I say.  “She m-makes me f-feel beautiful.  Inside and out.”  After a nervous glance I correct myself.  “H-Handsome I mean.”

“You are beautiful Avery.”  A rattling cough interrupts him.  After another slug of coffee he clears his chest and says.  “I’m glad you found someone who can see you for what you are.”

“Yeah.”  I watch a low flying gull swoop past.  “I do love her.  I…um…I think I’m g-gonna ask her to m-marry me.”

“Oh!”

“N-Not yet.”  I lean back and let out a long breath.  “B-But soon.”

“Okay.  Just…don’t take it to heart if you don’t get the answer you want.”  He says.  “You two are swept up in a very fast current right now.  Marriage has a way of making people pause and take stock.  If she says no, it doesn’t mean she won’t.  It just means that she won’t right now.”

“Yeah.”  I say.  “I know it’s t-too soon.  B-But…I don’t w-want to wait too long.”  Gazing across at him with unabashed hero worship glowing in my heart I say softly.  “I w-w-want you t-to be there, Grandpa.”

“Aw my boy.”  Again he reaches and takes my hand.  Giving it a supportive squeeze he tells me.  “Avery.  I will be there.  I promise you that.  Whether this old pile of bones is still rattling around or not, I will be there.  Grandma too.  Right there beside you.”

“Oh Grandpa.”  I blink away the mist in my eyes.

“My boy.”  He gives my hand a shake.  “Hey.  You want to come sing with me?  I thought I’d take the keyboard up to the college today.  The kids up there are always cool to me.”

“Lousy t-tippers though.”

“I don’t do it for the coins, Buttercup.”  He says with a chuckle and a wink.  “Old Gramps isn’t quite as destitute as some might think.”

“I wish I could.”  I say.  “But I gotta work.”

“Of course.”

We sit for a time, talking a little but mostly just basking in the lovely morning together.  When my tea was done I let out a long sigh.  “I should g-go.”

“Avery.”

“Yeah Grandpa?”

“I love you.”

I damn near break into tears all over again.  “I l-love you too.”  We get up from our seats and share another awesome hug.  “Thank you.”

He kisses my cheek.  “Anytime.”

“I’ll c-come see you at lunch if y-you’re still there.”  I say.  “Usual spot?”

“Unless the hire-a-fuzz chase me away again.”  He laughs.  “I’ll be there.  And if not, just keep your ear out for the groovy beats.”

I giggle.  “Okay!”

We say our goodbyes and I am on my way.  Back at the lot I find my motorbike leaned on its kickstand in one of the spaces, my helmet hanging from the handlebar.  I could just imagine Winona hefting it up and out of the bed or her truck.  The image gives me a flutter in my chest and my dick.  I just loved how strong she was.

Helmet on I straddle my bike and kick start into life.  I turn the throttle to elicit a satisfying, if a bit wimpy, snarl from out of my puny Honda.  Soon I am weaving through the streets and alleys of Haven Point on my way to the apartment.  As I ride I find myself searching the faces of all I pass.  Not all the faces, just those men of a certain age.  I look for similarities.  My hair and eyes I inherited from Mom, but maybe he was blond and blue eyed as well.  I look for smaller men, slender men, fine featured men, and men who might share my unique smile.

It proves a fruitless endeavor.  Every guy I see had something that didn’t fit.  It was hopeless.  I knew I got my looks primarily from my mother.  My biological father could potentially look like anything.  I was ninety-nine percent certain he was white, but beyond that who knows.  Heck, he might not even live on the island anymore.  Maybe he never did.  Perhaps he was some one-night stand when Mom was on the mainland.  Though as I reflected back, the way she talked about him being so selfish and ‘drifting through life without a care in the world’ gave me the sense that she still knew him.  Or at least he was close enough to keep tabs on.  It was so WEIRD!  Knowing that any of these middle aged guys I passed might have given me half of my genetics left me feeling…just…WEIRD!  The curiosity was going to gnaw at me.  If Grandpa didn’t find out himself I was going to have to gather my courage and talk to Mom about it myself.

The news this morning might have rocked my world and my night with Winona had been nothing less than transformative yet life went on just as it always had.  I had bills to pay, a job to work, and regular stuff to do.  After so much happening lately getting back into the well-worn groove of existence was going to feel odd.

Back at home I find Brayden gone.  Hopefully gone to his new job.  With him you could never tell but there was something about this time that gave me hope.  I am nearly through the living room when the glint of steel on the sofa catches my eye.  Walking closer I see something caught between the cushions.  Pulling on it I reveal…a studded black choker?  This wasn’t mine and I’m pretty damn sure it wasn’t his…yet it looked familiar somehow.

“Ha!”  The woman at the pet store!?  “No way!” I grin.  He did it.  He really did it.  I thought for sure all that talk was just more of the typical Brayden bluster.  Just getting up and doing anything beyond dope and video games would have been an accomplishment for him, but to break the ice with a girl then actually get her back here?  For him it was a miracle!  I felt so dang happy for him.  This whole love and dating thing just might be contagious.  “He he he!”

I carefully tuck the collar back into the sofa just like I found it.  That little discovery puts a spring in my step as I head off and get ready for work.

Chapter 119