A Simple Life: Chapter 32 (Patreon)

We listen to tunes and chat a bit more about Fables of Fantasy and even get a tentative date set for our first game.  As we talk a really nice energy was already developing among us, a sort of instant chemistry of just the right sort of disparate personalities clicking into place with each other.  Winona was the leader and visionary, Kayla both the social glue and lubricant, Cain the practical one and stoic wiser head, Riley was pure enthusiasm, Briar the brains and passion, and me…well, I was just the lucky sap who was happy to be tagging along for the ride.  The more we talked the more I really liked this group.  I was already smitten with Winona, Kayla was my oldest friend, Briar and I had hit it off right away, and after all these years of knowing each other the more popular Cain and Riley were actually starting to warm up to me as I gradually felt confident enough to open up little by little.  It was nice!  And I was really looking forward to my Althea meeting all of their alter-egos.

Eventually snacks are broken out and the subject of the movie comes up.

“Let’s go with a fantasy movie to get us in the mood.”  Winona suggests.  “It might get your imaginations fired up.  Help you figure out what you might want to play.”

“Fine, but I’m not sitting through some three hour snoozefest.”  Insists Kayla.  “Babe.  Let’s see what we got.”

“Yes Kayla.”

“Can’t go wrong with Tolkien.”  Briar says excitedly as the television screen lights up behind her with a host of fantasy options already listed for us.  “Lord of the Rings or the Hobbit would be good.”

Out of the corner of my eye I catch Winona give the ceiling an annoyed glance at Babe listening in and responding as it had.  The AI interpreting the conversation and reacting to it appropriately clearly bothered her.

“I’m not sitting through some three hour snoozefest.”  Kayla repeats flatly.

“She’s not kidding.  I tried to get Kayla to watch Fellowship three times.”  Winona says.  “She fell asleep every time.”  She pats my knee and gets up.  “I’m gonna grab my specs.”

Leaning forward, elbows on his knees, Cain peruses the options.  “Sucks.  Trash.  Dog shit.”

“But tell us how you really feel.”  Chuckles Kayla.  “What a critic!”

“Cain is soooo picky with his shows and movies.”  Riley says.  “Yet he watches that game of his for four hours a week!  Such a nerd.”  Without even looking Cain reaches over and tweaks one of Riley’s nipples through her shirt.  “OOO!  Ha ha ha ha!”

Cain’s serious expression cracks into a little grin as he continues to look.  “Nope.  Not bad, but meh.  Too long.”

Back from getting her glasses from her jacket Winona flumps down beside me.  For some her glasses might have spoiled the cool look she had going on, but for me she looked even sexier.  Her left arm slips right back around me where it had been before.  In her easy, natural way she runs a hand up and down my back like we were longtime lovers.   I liked that.  I liked that a lot.  I liked everything about everything right now a lot.  “See anything you like Sprout?”

“Oh!  Um.  I-I’m good with whatever you g-guys want to watch.”

“I got it.”  Briar says after shifting around to face the screen.  “The Princess Bride.  Something for everyone.  Fantasy, action, comedy, romance.”  She smirks at Kayla.  “Plus it’s short.”

“Romance?  I’m sold.”  Kayla brightens.  “What do you say Cain?”

“A classic.”  He shrugs.  “Sure.”

“You heard’em Babe.”

Babe takes it upon himself to lower the blinds and dim the lights as everyone settles in.  Kayla shifts her chair to sit directly to the left of the sofa.  “If everyone gets cozy there’s another spot on the sofa.”  Kayla says to Briar.

“I can give you the chair.”  Cain offers.

“I’m good.”  Briar says as she stretches out on her side on the living room rug, her head propped up with her right hand while her left starts picking away at the bowl of popcorn she’d been given.

“Lights, camera, action.”  Kayla points at the television and a second later the title fills the screen.

As a group we are engrossed as the movie plays.  The others laugh and gasp and talk to the screen at all of the appropriate parts.  For me though I sit and watch in wide-eyed silence.  The movie is an absolute roller coaster of emotions.  The grandpa, the grandson, their bond, the tragedy of a true love found and parted, the triumph of it united again, the group of misfits and their struggles, the quest to avenge a father taken too early, and to top it all off the beautiful blonde princess who was named…Buttercup!  Every line, every scene, every joke and story beat felt as if it was created just for me.

In the princess I saw the most perfect damsel, the very woman I wished I could become in those times when the mood struck me.  In the hero I saw a man wise enough to know that true love was the first and most important thing and was brave enough to act on it.  In the giant I saw the outcast, the loner, who had found a family that accepted him.  In the Spaniard I saw a noble man brought low by the loss of a beloved father figure, a state I would find myself in far too soon.  In the prince I saw a vain man caught up in looks and appearances over substance.  In the wicked six-fingered man I saw the cancer that would take my grandpa away from me and my own cowardice at not trying harder to make him give up smoking when there was still time.  And even in the Sicilian I saw the clever fool who thought he had it figured out but ended up with his face in the dirt.  With each of these characters I saw some aspect of myself reflected back at me.  But what got me, what really got me, was the grandpa and grandson.  The grandpa might not be cool or as exciting as a baseball video game, but he loved his boy more than anything in the world.  It was so beautiful, but right now it was a lot to deal with.  Too much.  With my chest already tight and tears blurring my vision I am trying so hard, SO HARD, to hold myself together as the movie comes to its conclusion.  Already exhausted from dealing with so many other people for an extended period of time I had not the reserves to deal with this.  I was not strong enough.  The final “As you wish” shatters me completely.

The credits roll and the lights brighten as the others are all smiles at the movie we’d just witnessed.  The totally normal reaction of normal people for such a heartwarming tale.  As for myself…I let out a loud gasping sob then bolt for the door.

“Avery!?”  Kayla calls after me.

In sock feet I run from the house, my frantic eyes searching for somewhere, anywhere, to hide.  What I see instead are a pair of Kayla’s neighbors looking at me as if I were a crazy man.  Retreating from them I dart around behind the house.  I needed to be alone.  I just needed to be alone!

Out back there was an open field but I spot a chest high hydrangea bush alongside the back wall of Kayla’s pod and that it is what I make for.  I rush in behind it and squat down into a little ball.  Covering my face with both hands…I weep.

Only now, now that I was alone and hiding my shame behind a bush, again, do the other thoughts come.  Everyone was having such fun…and I had to go and make that big scene and ruin it.  I didn’t mean too, I never mean too, but I just didn’t know what else to do.  I ruined the mood, the movie, the party, the FoF group, my new friendships, and every good thing that had happened these past few hours.  Why did I think I could do this?  People like me don’t do parties.  Worst of all though, I just ruined my first date with Winona.  It had started out so good.  I really liked her.  She actually liked me!  I thought there was magic happening.  She could have been the one.  All that was gone now because I wasn’t even strong enough to watch a nearly G-rated family film.

I ruined everything.

I realized then how hopeless it really was.  I couldn’t even get through a first date without messing everything up, what hope did a loser like me have at finding love.  I was alone because I deserved to be alone.  I didn’t deserve that kind of happiness.  Grandpa will be so disappointed in me.

Chapter 33