A Giant's Heart: Chapter 17 (Patreon)

The instant the club makes contact with my skull…I bolt up and find myself sitting on my soft warm bed in my luxurious home and gasping for breath.  Sweat pours down my face and my body is drenched causing the fine silk sheet to stick to me.  I look around momentarily confused.  I let out a long sigh and cover my face with trembling hands as I work to settle my jumbled nerves.  It was just another nightmare.  The twist at the end was new but the rest of it all too familiar.

“Fuck.”  I whisper into my palms then give my cheeks a brisk slap to help snap me out of it.

Lounging across from the bed on the chaise longue my wife slowly opens her eyes as she exits her meditative trance.  Glancing around at the tossed and crumpled bedding around me I realize that I had forced her from our bed with my thrashing.

“Sorry.”  I mutter as I wipe the sweat from my face.

She simply gives a one slow nod.  I take a long steadying breath and push memories of the dream from my mind.

After giving me a moment to compose myself she says.  “You came to bed late.”

“Yeah.  It was a clear night.  I was just…walking.”

If she could tell I was lying she gave no indication of it.  “Did you find the peace you were looking for out there?”

Memories of the evening before flash through my mind.  I remember the anger and pain, the lust and laughter, and a heavy embrace.  I could see Osa’s calm sleeping face in the flickering firelight as I left her.  Rubbing my eyes of sleep I sidestep the question.  “There’s a big stag that’s moved in.  I’m going to try to take him.  I don’t want anyone else wandering the estate until I bag him.”

Her pale blue eyes study me a moment, each second felt like an hour to my guilt ridden heart.  Could she see my sin?  Finally she says calmly.  “Very well.”

“After breakfast I thought I might go out and see if I can track him.  I could be gone all day.”  Try as I might I could not hold her gaze.  I had betrayed her and already it was eating me up inside.  Trying to act casual I stand and move to the thick curtains to throw them open.  The clear night had turned into an overcast morning, the gray clouds matched my mood.  Rain would be coming today though probably no more than a drizzle.  I knew giants had no qualms camping in the open on days like this yet I cannot help but worry about Osa.

Lana rises and with the grace of a dancer glides across the room and to my side.  Her lithe body presses into my back, her slender arms wrapping around to rest her hands on my bare chest and abdomen, and she rests her fine chin upon my shoulder.  “Could you stay the morning my love?”

Oh no.  Today of all days for my wife to become intimate.  I already knew that the shame of my infidelity would not allow me to bond with her as we did when we made love.  But, as often happened, I had misread her.

“We have company coming.”  She continues.  “They should arrive just after midday.”  She kisses my shoulder.  “I would like you to talk with them.  It would mean a lot to me Caspian.”

I am simultaneously relieved and troubled.  “Company?”

“From the city.”  She admits.  “They wish to speak to you about the offer I told you about.”

“Lana!”  I swear under my breath.  “What did I tell you?”

“I know.”  Her soft hands stroke my scarred body.  “This was arranged before I spoke to you.  They’ve come all this way and they’ll only be here for a few hours.  Could you at least hear them out before you say no.”

I sigh and take her hands in mine.  I was in no mood to argue and in even less of a mood to disappoint her considering the terrible confession that I would be telling her at some point in the next week.

“You should have told me they were coming.”  I say.

“Yes.  I should have.”  She says.  “But last night you seemed rather adamant that you didn’t wish to talk of it anymore.”

“Yeah.”  She wasn’t wrong.

“Just listen politely, thank them for their consideration, then tell them you’re not interested.”  She says as her embrace tightens.  “I warned them you might say no.”

I sigh and nod.  Bringing of one of her delicate hands to my lips I kiss it.  “I don’t deserve you Lana.”

She lets out a soft chuckle and kisses the side of my neck.  She thought it was a kindly jest but today I meant it.  I did not deserve her love.

That morning passes leisurely as so many other had since my retirement.  Lana and I share breakfast and enjoy some quiet time together before I excuse myself to the yard for exercise and weapons practice.  I go through the motions without any real conviction and reflect on my dream from the night before.  I had lived and relived that dream a hundred times yet never had I been killed in it before.  Smashed by the giant’s club.  The change hadn’t brought any relief.  The desperation, the futility and the terror were all just as acute and I still woke up in a sweat soaked panic.  Gods I was a mess.  My insane actions last night revealing to me that my cracked mental state was beginning to affect my judgment.  How much longer could I hold it all together?

Having worked up a sweat I head to the bathhouse for a quick but thorough wash.  Unlike the frigid stream the night before the here water is warm and beautifully scented.  I dress in clothes comfortable but acceptable for welcoming guests.  Even though I would not give them the answer they wanted I had to maintain appearances, this was important to my wife.  Afterward I get the word out among our small staff that nobody was to enter the forest as I did not wish the fictional stag to be scared off.  The lie was necessary, both for Osa’s safety as well as everyone else’s.  A hill giant, even a wounded one, was a grave threat to anybody who wasn’t a seasoned warrior.

Later I am alone in my study, the book I had pulled down to read sits on my desk unopened.  Instead I stare out the window to the West.  A light Spring rain had begun to fall.  The fire I had built would have burned out hours ago.  The boulder, hill, and trees would provide some measure of shelter but she would still be getting wet out there.  I could still smell her and feel her huge body envelope me and hear her hearty laughter.  I didn’t like the idea of her laying out there alone and exposed.  In the back of my mind I begin formulating a plan.  I had plenty of lumber and some spare canvas about.  It wouldn’t take much to build her a tent.  It could also act as concealment on the off chance somebody did wander out that way.  While big I could claim it was a hunting blind.  Looks like I had my afternoon planned.  I just had to get through what would unquestionably be an excruciatingly boring meeting with these city nobles that were coming and then I could get to work.  It felt good to have a project to think about.

The hours drag as I waited impatiently before at last I hear Tali’s voice call from entry.  “They’ve arrived!”

I straighten my fine embroidered vest and go to greet our company.  By the time I reach our entry hall I could hear the approach of the hard pounding hooves of three horses approach the door at a gallop.  Odd for nobles not to be traveling by carriage, and why were they riding in so quickly?  Were these messengers?  Something wasn’t right here.  Reaching behind me I rest my hand on the hidden dagger tucked into my belt.

“Tali, lock the door.  Lana, stand away from there.”  I say.

Tali looks at me with the strangest grin on her face and proceeds to disobey me.  Lana too makes no move away and stands directly in front of me to greet our guests.  Before I can say another word the thick wooden door swings open and a slim man in a heavy cloak strides boldly into our home with two others following just behind him.  I am just about to pull Lana back and spring into action to defend her when I hear the rich velvety voice of the man speak.

“Gods damn him!”  It is a voice from another time and place, from an entirely different life.  “Make me ride out here in the rain like I don’t have better things to do.  Where is that stubborn old bastard?”

Lana steps back to reveal our visitors, her smiling eyes telling me that she was responsible this deception.  Standing there with two others that I did not recognize, shaking the rain from his cloak, is my former lover and my closest living friend.

“Zayne?”

Chapter 18