Desperate Measures Chapter 5: Charlatan (Patreon)

The indignity from being roughed up in front of the others and forced to kiss the Scourge’s feet did not have the effect I thought it would.  My people were not demoralized, if anything their resolve to endure had been galvanized.  Once Silima and I are locked up and the guards back away from us the others once more encircle the cage.  Hands reach through to touch me and give me reassuring squeezes.

“Don’t give up princess.”  They whisper.

I assure them that I am okay and tell them to sleep while they can.  If I could have I would have sung them a magical lullaby, but my singing voice was not my own any longer.  Despite this, huddled together for warmth, their exhaustion soon claims them.  Though the rest is fitful they do sleep.  For my servant and I we are not afforded this brief escape from reality.  Every few minutes one of the guards would approach the cage and jab us with sticks, even if we were obviously awake.

Looking around to the slumbering elves all around us I let out a soft sigh at their plight and my own.  Over 100 souls scooped up from their lives and loved ones through no fault of their own.  Maybe two dozen of them were men with the rest women, all of them in their prime.  Pulling out the bent platinum comb that held up my mussed up hair out I allow my long locks to spill free and tuck the comb into the sash belt of my sister’s kimono.  Silima takes me in her arms and we sit and gaze up at the beautiful night sky beyond the bars.

“Do you still have your escape?”  She whispers to me.  I knew she referred to the small pill she had tucked in my sash.

“I believe so.”

“There is no shame in it.  You’ve done your part Aerin.  You’ve done more than anyone could have expected of you my boy.”  Hearing her speak to me as a real person, without title or subservient gesture, was one of the only silver linings of this whole experience.  My body relaxes into hers and I slide my arm around her.  “It’s not going to get any better from here.”  She says.

“I know.”  I lay my head on her shoulder as she lightly strokes my hair.  “But…I can’t…I can’t leave them now.  I can’t.  But I don’t know what to do Silima.  How can I help them?”

Her only reply is to hold me tighter, which comforted me more than any words could.  I knew Silima had no answers but knowing she was here made all the difference.  We stay like this until we are jabbed once more by a sneering guard.  And so the night passes.  Mercifully the summer night is warm and dry.  As we sit my thoughts drift to my deceased sister and my parents yet I hadn’t the emotional energy left to weep at their loss.  Then, without meaning to, I think about the ferocious woman who held my fate in her hands and there my mind lingers for a time.  It angered me that she dwells there for so long, and some of the improper thoughts that force their way into my imagination even elicit shame in me.  Yet try as I might I could not escape this fascination with my enemy.  Like a moth to flame my thoughts circle around her memory.  In both body and spirit I had never seen a woman like her.  She was so entirely different than the elven maidens I was accustomed to interacting with.  Had I not hated her so fervently I might actually have come to admire her…or even lust after her.

Silima and I watch the moons and the stars slowly shift across the sky, we watch the shimmering Evenstar set, and we watch the glow of the sun gradually illuminate the horizon to the East.  From up on the hill we could see out across the vast forested land of my homeland.  I silently take a moment to say goodbye to my country and my people.

As the guards are changed for the final time more activity can be heard around the encampment as the initial preparations for another hard day’s march begins.  One of the guards, who for some reason reeked of horse shit, comes and opens our cage.  He grunts and points at the ground.  Silima and I stiffly exit the cage, the motion waking some of the other captives who let out expressions of concern for my well-being when they realized I was being taken.  I motion them with a hand that all was okay.  Having understood the commands last night I knew what was happening.  Once out Silima and I stretch our cramped backs and necks.  It felt wonderful.  A rough wooden bucket is jammed into each of our hands along with a metal ladle and the guard motions for us to follow.  In the sights of a heavy crossbow of another guard that trailed behind us we are made to fill our buckets at a nearby well and ferry them back to the other captives.  Our task was to personally give a ladle full of water to each and every thirsty mouth.  With Silima working along one chain and I the other we do just that as quickly as we could.  I wanted to be sure that everybody got their share before we were forced to move.

Some of the captives cling to sleep but most are awake by the time we return with our first buckets.  Early into it I find the woman who had given me the plum the evening before.

“You look tired Evenstar.”  She says as I pull out her portion of water from the bucket.

“I am fine.”  As she greedily slurps down every last drop of her drink I ask.  “And how are you this morning Daeliah?”

She finishes the water with gratitude and smiles her reply, but there is great fear in her eyes.  “What’s going to happen to us Princess Tariella?”

“I don’t know.”  I confess.  “Don’t let your thoughts linger on it.  Our fate is not in our control.  Truth is it never has been.  We must endure it as we can.”

“That guard…he keeps looking at me.”  Her eyes dart off to over my left shoulder.  “The big one.”

“I know.”  I say softly.  The orc she spoke of, a particularly massive male of the species with large vibrant orange eyes and one missing tusk, had clearly singled her out as a favorite.  I had noticed over the night how the soldiers began looking over the elves like shoppers at a market and it made my skin crawl.  I wish I had words for her, I wish with all of my heart I could help her, but all I could do was sympathize.  We were all in this equally.

“He’s going to…”  She cannot bring herself to speak the nasty word.  “He’s going to have me, isn’t he?”  She looks to me desperate for a response.

“I don’t know.”  I answer honestly.  “Whatever happens it isn’t your fault.  You do not deserve this.”

“I hate him.”  She says with a tremor to her sweet voice.  “I hate them all.  With all of my heart.”

“Hey.”  I take the sides of her head and stare into her green eyes.  “Their sin is theirs to bear, don’t let it be yours.  What we must suffer in this short life they will pale compared to their punishment in eternity.”  My voice sounds sure despite my heart being full of despair.  I felt like the worst kind of charlatan saying these honeyed words in an identity not my own.  It was not courage fueling my assurances but cowardice, I simply could not bear the sight of Daeliah giving up.  I lay a hand upon her chest.  “The hate is natural but keep room for love and hope in there.  Keep that space precious.  Don’t let them in there Daeliah.”

“I’m scared.”  She whimpers as others huddle closer around her to listen in and lend support.  “I’m so scared Evenstar.”

“Me too.”  I bring my hand up to stroke her fine cheek.  “Me too.  We all are.”  Whispered echoes of agreement follow my statement.

“You…you said in the Autumnal Realm…the painful memories would be forgotten?”  Daeliah asks.

“That is what the priests tell us.  They say they’ve seen it, a land between this world and what is beyond.”  As I fill the scoop once more with fresh water and serve it to another I look to one of the others.  “Isn’t that true?”

The woman nods.  “It is a place for our souls to rest and heal before moving on to the great unknown.  A place without pain or suffering or cruelty.  They say it is a forest of a warm everlasting mid-Autumn day, when the leaves are bursting in full color but not yet falling.  No hunger, no fear, no toil.”

“Where you’ll be rewarded for the love you’ve shown in this life.  Where we can cleanse our spirit for heaven.  A place where nobody can ever hurt you again.”  I add.  “And a place to be reunited for those who went first and to wait for those who come after.”

“It sounds wonderful.”  Daeliah says.

“It will be.”  I lean in and kiss her forehead.  “Hold to that.”

“Will I see you there Evenstar?”

“Call me Tariella.”  I smile.  “And of course you will.  I will be there awaiting you with open arms.”

She smiles back with genuine warmth.  I felt terrible filling her head with such stories but at this point I could see no harm in letting her live with some speck of hope for as long as possible.  The others as well take some comfort in my words.  Each in turn gratefully accept the water from me as if it were mine to give.  If the General thought this menial task performed by their princess would cause the others to think less of me she couldn’t have been more wrong.  With each ladle drawn and each trip back and forth from the well I see their faith in me only grow.  This was going to make my inevitable fall all the more painful but for now I let them believe in their fake princess.

Chapter 6