The Wreckoning Chapter 15: Thanksgiving (Patreon)

The session’s time was almost here and I am all ready to go.  I had just gotten home a half hour ago having spent the day over at my parent’s place for Thanksgiving.  While the visit was nice enough I was so happy to have escaped the noise and chaos and be back here in my little sanctuary of sin.  Beside me I had the contents of November’s box ready to go.  A stout replica of a man-sized forearm and fist, D9, and a string of three massive anal beads each one as big as a baseball, B2.

I had tried to call Robyn a few times already but so far there was no answer.  I am starting to become concerned but it still wasn’t quite time yet so I’m not too worried.  However, after another few minutes the time was upon us and still she wasn’t answering.  In all these past 9 plus months not once had she been late answering.  My concern grew as I try again.

At last she pick up. I breath a sigh of relief, though it is short lived as I immediately notice that her eyes and nose were red from crying.

Seized with worry I lean in.  “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin.”  She sniffles angrily.  “Just…do your thing.  Time starts now.”

“Wait a second.  You’re upset, what’s going on?”

“Nothing.”  She snaps.  “Get going Missy or I’m sending the video.”  That threat was laughably toothless at this point.

“Robyn.”  I say soothingly.  “It’s me.  Calm down hun. What happened?  Why are you crying?”

She grits her teeth and looks away, anger and pain smoldering in her features.  “I went to Dad’s for Thanksgiving.”

“Oh.”  I knew her relationship with her father was complicated.  For some reason unknown to me he blamed Robyn for her mother running off back when Robyn was still a child.  He had moved on, married again, had another family, yet still there was a lingering bitterness in the man that colored every interaction he had with his eldest daughter.

“What a stupid idea that was.  I’m such an idiot.”

“No you’re not.  It’s perfectly normal to want to see family on holidays.”

“Family will let you down Missy.”  She says.  “Friends will let you down.  Lovers will let you down.  Everybody will let you down sooner or later.”

“That’s not true.”

“Ha!”  She glances back my way and I see that old jealousy and resentment in her eyes.  “Maybe for you Little Miss…”

“Don’t you dare call me that!”  I stare back sternly.  “If you say it I swear I’m ending this call.”

She squares up to the screen and sits taller.  “I think you forget what is happening here.  You forget what you are and who I am.  Don’t get ideas above your station Little Miss Perfect…”

Blip.  I hang up.  I am furious.  After all we’ve been through for her to call me that again.  She knew how much I hated that.  She had had a bad day but that no reason to take it out on me.  Yes, she had a tough go of it.  Yes, her father was an asshole.  Yes, she didn’t enjoy all of the blessings that I had.  But god damn it, none of that was my fault!  I was so tired of her feeling sorry for herself.  She was a deranged and damaged soul, there was no doubt, but she had so much going for her that she was blind to.  She was healthy.  She was good at her job.  She had a weird and silly sense of humor.  She was smart and playful and attentive.  She was attractive when she wanted to be, to me she was beautiful all the time.  And she was an excellent listener.  It pissed me off that she couldn’t see what I saw so plainly.

After a few minutes, once my anger had been given a chance to cool, a fear I hadn’t felt in a long time begins to well up inside of me.  Shit.  What if she did send the video?  In her ire would she do something rash just to strike out and hurt someone?  Had I gone through almost 10 months of sexual servitude and degradation only to throw it all away now?  She wouldn’t, would she?

I look up at myself in the corner mirror, staring straight into my sky blue eyes.  I knew deep down that no matter what happened now I would never regret the things I had done.  I had achieved and experienced things I didn’t even know were possible and even from the start…I loved it.  I really truly loved it.  I didn’t know why, it touched some fucked up part of myself.  Cute little yoga instructing sex kitten to the world but a dirty nasty double fisting floozy in the bedroom.  It made me feel worthless and powerful and hideous and sexy all at the same time.  I knew now I was every bit as messed up as Robyn and I had her to thank for getting me in touch with that.

I had no idea what I was going to tell Dylan when he got home.  Robyn had wanted to ruin me, and she had, but not entirely like she thought she would.  Perhaps the physical changes would eventually disappear but the memories would be there forever.  Could Dylan go to those places with me?  Would he be repulsed?  Disgusted?  I wouldn’t blame him if he was.  I wouldn’t blame him if he dropped me like a bad habit.  But for now I prayed she didn’t send him the video, he didn’t deserve to be hurt like that.

I am interrupted from my thoughts by the ring of an incoming call.  It was her.

I let it ring a few times before finally answering.  “Yes?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t like it when you call me that.”

“I know.  I’m sorry Missy.  It won’t happen again.”  She says.  “I…got carried away.”

I smile and lean in close.  “I forgive you.”  I could see my gentle words hit home.  “Hey, what happened at your Dad’s?”

She lets out a huff.  “Just stupid shit, as usual.  Name calling and stuff, you know.”

“No, I don’t know.  A parent shouldn’t do that to their child, even if they are an adult.”

She takes a long breath, I could see she wanted to say something so I wait patiently.  In a very low voice she says.  “It’s, um, pretty normal…from what I’ve read…when you come out.”

“Come out?”

She stares back with wide frightened eyes.  “I, uh, I’m bi Missy.”

I give her my warmest most loving and patient smile.  “I don’t mean to be trite but…you’re kidding, right?”

“Excuse me?”

“I’ve seen how you look at me.  Did you think I didn’t know?  Did you really think it was a secret?”

“Uhhhh.”

I giggle.  “Maybe I knew it before you did.  I’m actually more surprised your just bi.  I’ve never once heard you talk about men.”

“You knew!?”

“Of course I knew!  I mean your favorite show is watching a woman masturbate for you.  Kind of a big give away.  And besides, it’s the 2020’s, fuckin everyone is bi nowadays.”  I lean in and hug around the screen and camera then pull back to look at her again.  “I’m sorry your family were such assholes about it, but I think it will be better this way.  If they can accept you, great.  If not…fuck ‘em!”

She grins, pauses, and then lets out a big laugh.  “Yeah.  Fuck ‘em!”

“That’s the spirit.  Fuck that toxic shit.  You’re better off without them dragging you down.  Get out there and find your own family.  Make your own circle.  Find your own tribe.”

“Yes!”

“Be the person you want to be!”

“I love you Missy!”

Everything goes quiet as I am taken completely off guard.  “Sorry, what?”

She blushes brightly and sinks down into her chair.  “Nothing.  Um, we should get…”

“You love me?”

She bring her hand to her mouth, I could see she was wishing she could take those words back.

I press.  “Like, love love me?  Like in love with me?”

She shakes her head and stammers but no intelligible words come out.  “I…uh….I…”

“I’m married Robyn.”

“I know…b-but…um…”  She gathers herself.  “I know nothing can come of it but…it just…sort of happened.”  She stares into my soul.  “I love you Missy.”

“Robyn, sweetie, I don’t know what to say.”  I knew what she wanted me to say but I just didn’t know, these were not words you threw around lightly and this had taken me entirely by surprise.  “Robyn…”

“Don’t say anything.” She says abruptly.  “Can we just pretend I never said anything?”

“Robyn…”

“Please!”  Her embarrassed expression was begging me to drop this.  “Please, I don’t want to talk about this.  I never should have said anything.  Please.”

“Okay.”  I agree, though I had so many questions and things I wanted to say.  “We can talk about it later.”

“Sure, sure.”  She nods rapidly.  “Hey, it’s getting late.  We should really get tonight going.  Do you have everything?”

My thoughts and emotions still swirling I step back and sit on the edge of the bed and pat the big rubber fist dildo.  “Of course.”

“Play for me.”  She whispers. 

And so I play for the woman who loved me.