A Simple Life: Chapter 145 (Patreon)

I sit a moment to gather my thoughts. My warm mug cupped in my hands I stare down into the reflective black of my tea to see myself looking back from behind the steam.

“Well.” I say softly. “She’s an elf.”

“Pointy ears and all that?”

“Mmm.” I nod. “And slender and petite. S-S-Small b-breasts, willowy b-body, light boned. She c-comes from a f-fair skinned lineage. She’s b-blond w-w-with eyes the c-color of the azure sky.”

“I can almost see her.” Grandpa takes a sip of his drink. “I bet she has nice smile.”

“Yeah.” I grin. “Sh-She’s really s-super p-pretty.” With a giggle I recall Winona’s reaction when I rolled my Charm. “She one of th-the m-most beautiful women in all the w-world. F-For real too! She’s g-got the stats that s-say so.”

“Mm.” He hums dubiously. “I think beauty is about a bit more than a number, don’t you Avery?”

“Yeah.” I glance up at him. “I t-try to play her as b-being nice and k-kind and good. I think her s-soul is beautiful too b-but there’s no s-score for that.”

“Some things just can’t be measured.” He says. “I bet she’s even more beautiful on the inside.”

“I h-hope so.” I say. “She’s clever. Smarter than m-me. Which m-makes it t-tricky to be her.”

“You’re pretty smart, Buttercup.”

“Mm.” I shrug. “I d-did one thing that was p-pretty cool though.” I go on to tell him the big moment in our first game where I made all the fungus grow to free the noble’s son along with what happened next. Smiling as I hear all those raucous cheers from my friends in my memory I finish by saying. “Th-That was k-kinda clever I guess.”

“Ha ha ha! Sharp as a tack I’d say.” He chortles. “Althea’s a smart one alright.”

“Yeah. She’s awesome.” I say. “What else? Um…she l-loves nature. In fact she is a n-nature mage. I g-guess it’s something that n-not many people play.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mm. B-Briar says it’s not optimal.” I say. “In f-fact it’s really weak, wh-which is why I gotta be c-clever sometimes. But I like her that way. I l-like that I c-can make the others f-feel strong and h-heroic. I l-like helping them be awesome.”

“A natural helper. What a sweetie.”

I giggle. “Yeah.”

“How did she come to like nature so much?”

My smile grows. “Her g-grandma.”

“Grandma’s a gardener or something?”

I giggle. “No way! She’s v-very powerful. An archmage! Powerful and caring and respected b-b-by all the g-good peoples. Everyone, ev-verywhere l-looks up to her.” I take a little sip of my tea and watch my reflection waver back into focus. “She l-lives in a high tower in a v-vast elven forest. I’m her apprentice. Her b-b-best pupil ever. Sh-She taught me all I know about magic and n-nature.”

“Groovy.”

“The g-grooviest.” I say, my voice softening like when I play Althea. “Grandma is v-very old. She’s seen a lot. And b-because she’s an elf…she’ll n-n-never ever die. Not ever.” There is a rustle and I feel a warm hand come to clutch my shoulder. I look up and Grandpa and smile. “Althea loves her grandma more than anything.”

“I am sure the feeling is mutual.” He smiles back.

“Oh!” I peep as he sits back again. “I d-didn’t tell you about my b-best friend.”

“I can’t wait to hear.”

“He’s a raven!” I laugh. “He’s my f-familiar.”

“Your best friend is a bird?”

“Yeah! He he he. N-Not a normal bird. He c-can talk to me and everything. He’s kinda funny. Clever. D-Definitely wiser than me.” I say. “He w-watches over me and helps me and n-nothing could ever m-make him turn on me.”

“A friend to the end.”

“Mm hm.” I nod. “He w-was wary of my M-Mistress. Turns out he was r-right to be.”

“Mistress?”

“That’s L-Lady Ara. W-Winona’s old character. She’s an NPC n-now.”

“NPC?”

“Just m-means the Fable Master controls her.” I explain. “M-My people s-sent me to her to s-secure a valuable alliance against d-dark forces that are rising.”

“Can’t have that happening.”

“Exactly.” I say. “B-But it turns out…Ara is a vampire lord!”

“A vampire?”

“Yeah! N-Nobody knew it. It w-was a secret. Lady Ara’s d-deepest secret.” I say. “B-But she t-told me. She l-let me in on it. N-Now I don’t know what to do about it.”

“She’s a bad guy?”

“I j-just don’t know. M-Maybe. W-Winona’s not telling me.” I say. “She s-says it’s up t-to me what to do. I’m in a r-real dilemma. N-Not only d-did I swear to serve her, b-but…um…” I squirm. “…I’m…she’s kinda attracted to her t-t-too.”

“Attracted?”

“She’s s-so cool and p-powerful and mysterious and HOT!”

“Hot? The game’s certainly come a long way since my day.” He chuckles. “Back when I tried it it was all about killing monsters and taking treasure.”

“W-We do that too.” I laugh. “I’m not sure ours is a r-regular kind of g-group.”

“As long as you’re all havin fun.”

“We are! W-We laugh so much.”

“Awesome.” He says as he slowly nods. “I like Althea. She sounds like a really cool dudette.”

“Yeah.” I swallow and stare back down into my drink. “I’m…really looking f-forward to shopping for h-her.” I glance his way to find him patiently watching and waiting for me to continue. “I hope I can find an emerald colored robe or dress. Th-That’s what she w-wears.” I pause. “I m-might g-get…other stuff.” I hurry to add. “In case we…d-d-do c-c-cosplay again.”

“Good idea, Avery.”

“M-Maybe…m-make up?” I glance nervously again to see if I was upsetting him. He sat with that same gentle smile waiting for me to talk. “And other th-things, m-maybe?”

“An elf girl’s gotta be prepared.” He says. “I think you should do that.”

“I, um, I’m a l-little n-nervous to shop.” I say. “In a st-store. P-People m-might see me. B-But I’m r-really looking forward to it.”

“You all will have a great time. You’ll see.”

“Yeah. K-Kayla thinks I’ll l-look hot. I th-think B-Briar will be cool t-too. And I know W-Winona will be happy.”

“They sound like really good friends.” His blue eyes twinkle. “Whatever you choose I am sure Althea will be stunning. You’ll be the belle of the ball.”

“I hope s-so.” I whisper. “Would…you…b-be angry…if maybe…I showed you Althea s-s-sometime?”

“Of course not! I would love to meet Althea.”

“I w-wouldn’t…embarrass y-you or d-d-disappoint you?”

“Disappoint me? You could never do that.” He leans closer to look me in the eyes. “You are my pride and joy, Avery.”

“Mmm. Thank you!” My chest was tight and my nerves taut. Grandpa was being his amazing, supportive self yet still this was so hard to get out. But out it was going to come. Right now. Grandpa’s scary coughing fit was yet another reminder of the ticking clock that was our time together. “Hey…um…Grandpa?”

“Yes?”

“You c-cross-dressed f-for Halloween?”

“Me and Anna both did. You saw the pictures.”

“Yeah. You were p-pretty. She was h-handsome.”

“So handsome.”

“Um. When you d-did it….did…you…um…” I take a deep breath. “…ever…f-f-f-feel…like a g-g-girl? Sometimes? Like…for r-real?”

His voice warm and low he answers. “No, Avery, I didn’t.”

“Oh.”

“Do you feel like a girl, Avery?”

“Um…a little, m-maybe. But…not?” I swallow again, trying to put down the lump in my throat. “I’m a m-man…I know I am. But…um…sometimes…just s-sometimes…um…”

“Sometimes it’s not so clear?”

“Yes!” I gasp. “Not so c-clear.”

“Sometimes black and white turns gray?”

“Yes! Yes!” I say. “That’s it. G-Gray. I’m gray. Is that…wrong?”

“No. It’s not wrong, Avery. The world is never so simple as black and white, no matter how comforting that surety would be sometimes. What is real and true is always shades of gray.”

“S-Sometimes I…feel like…I wanna be a g-girl too. I d-dress up…W-Winona lets me w-wear my n-nightie…and it f-f-feels good. Really g-good. Inside and outside. G-Good. S-Sometimes I j-j-just…um…feel…um…I f-f-feel…d-d-different…and…um…scared and c-confused and…happy? Hah! I w-wish I w-was only a g-g-girl, b-but I’m not! I’m a m-man b-but…not all the t-time? I d-don’t know wh-what I’m trying t-to say. Grr! It’s n-not fitting together right in my w-words.”

“It’s okay.” He sets down his tea. “Come here.” He waves me in. “Come here.”

I slip from the sofa and walk on my knees into my grandpa’s waiting arms. He pulls me in and hugs me in that way only he can. My cheek against his shoulder I take deep, shuddering breath and wrap my arms around him. “Sometimes I d-don’t know what I am G-Grandpa!”

“Oh Avery.” Hugging me tight he kisses my head. “You are my Buttercup. And you always will be.”

Chapter 146