I seriously just hate my life now (Pixiv Fanbox)

*Rant* So this was my entry....didn't get in top 10 on the BLlits contest.....like I can graciously accept defeat.....if it wasn't for the fact that they went ahead and said "Hey, we like so much art here's 5 more spots" and mine was even on it....WTF DX? I'm super pissed because this cost me money in 2 ways. ONE I had to prolong my Fanbox Content just to pump this out in a few days. TWO: I developed hemorrhoids from sitting down straight for so long working on it and barely moving DX. My ass has been bleeding for a week and its going to take a while for the doctor to look at me. Seriously, Fuck this ugh....don't know why I even bother. I don't care about losing, I care about literally not having effort BOTHERED to be acknowledged.