Rapture in Shame (Pixiv Fanbox)

※This is a story from Misha-Yule's point of view.

※Not to be viewed by anyone under the age of 18.

Rei Taylor. That was the name of my best friend. She and I had been together for the past ten years now, but lately she had been acting a little strange.

No, actually, it wasn’t just a little. She had been acting very strange.

“Claire-sama~!”

“Haven’t I told you not to cling to me like that!? Let go!”

Recently, all Rei had been doing was chasing Claire François-sama around. It appeared that she loved Claire-sama. The Rei that I once knew didn’t seem to be the sort that fancied girls, but I suppose that had changed at some point.

Just a little ago, I took the opportunity to directly voice my doubts to her. The response that I received came surprisingly flat.

『Hm… I think you’re probably right. I mean I’ve never felt attracted to a man so…』

I was sure that it should have taken quite some resolve to say something like that, but Rei’s response didn’t seem to possess any of that. She had uttered the line just as though she was talking about one of her favorite foods. It must have been her lackadaisical response that spurred me to inquire further about her sexuality.

Rei talked a lot about the experiences of those in a sexual minority. Her anecdotes dispelled all of my previous prejudice toward them. And at the same time, I also thought…

—Ah… It’s not like there was anything especially strange about me.

Ever since I was young, I had held some doubts about my sensibilities. Even when all of the girls around me were squealing about the boys, I had always wondered,

—Hm? What about the girls?

It’s not as though I was exclusively drawn to girls. There were times when I found men to be charming as well. If I had to guess, I would say that I was likely bisexual.

But the only models of bisexual individuals that I had were the troublemakers that appeared in novels or plays. They were overly flirtatious and rather loose when it came to sex, so I didn’t want to be compared to them.

And that’s precisely why, when Rei said that people in sexual minorities weren’t actually like that, I felt as though I had been saved. I felt relieved. It was okay for me to admit that I liked what I did.

When that thought crossed my mind, the first person I thought of was Yuu-sama. Yuu-sama, who suffered from opposite sex disease had always been the object of my affetions. Serving ‘her’ had always been House Yule’s duty, and I had never once questioned that.

(But…)

Were those feelings love? I certainly did like Yuu-sama. I wanted to help her in any way that I could, and if possible I wanted to allow her to live as whichever gender she desired.

But that’s all there was to it. I never felt like I had wanted to kiss her, and anything beyond that was unthinkable. I was certain, these feelings were nothing more than a deep admiration.

As for why such thoughts had crossed my mind—

“… Misha? Misha?”

“!?”

When I snapped out of my thoughts, Rei’s face was right next to mine. Her large black eyes peered toward me worriedly.

“Something the matter, Misha? You seemed kinda out of it.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Really? Are you sure you don’t have a cold? Excuse me for a sec.”

With that, Rei lifted up my bangs and brought her forehead against mine. I almost couldn’t breathe. Just right there—no distance between us. Rei was right there.

“Hm… It doesn’t seem like you have a fever?”

“Like I said. It’s nothing.”

“That so? Well, that’s good then.”

As I desperately feigned indifference so that she wouldn’t pick up on what was going on, Rei continued to speak to me at point blank. We were so close that I could feel her breath. It was a distance where I could kiss her if I wanted to.

“Isn’t that enough? You’re too close.”

“Yup, you’re right. If I stick too close to you, Claire-sama will be jealous.”

“But I won’t!?”

“Eh~”

Rei left me, and returned to Claire-sama’s side. It wasn’t as though I didn’t feel a little jealous, but now wasn’t the time for that.

(Why are you… Just so casual when it comes to skinship?)

Rei really didn’t leave much distance between us. Or rather, it wasn’t just with me, but she was rather close and personal with any girl that she got along with. That may have had something to do with her sexuality, but it was taxing to me as I always had to deal with it. It was difficult for me to keep my composure. I didn’t imagine that Rei might have fallen for me or anything of that sort, but due to just how close she was all the time… There were just a lot of opportunities for misunderstandings.

Or perhaps, I was just overthinking things.

“Misha! I’m going to the cafeteria with Claire-sama, wanna come?”

“I’ll pass.”

“That so? Sure, I’ll catch you later.”

“Sure, see you.”

I saw them both off. Though Claire-sama acted as though she hated it, I couldn’t help but feel that internally she didn’t hate it as much as she let on.

(Maybe the two of them are actually already intimate…)

Perhaps when the two were alone together, the atmosphere between them was more intimate and—wait, just what am I imagining?

Just as I realized that my thoughts were headed toward the gutter, I gave a firm slap to my cheeks to reset myself.

(… I should take a bath.)

◆◇◆◇◆

Rei was also my roommate. But we didn’t spend a lot of time together in our room. Since Rei served as Claire-sama’s personal maid, she spent most of her time in Claire-sama’s room. And tonight too, she didn’t return to our room until the twenty-third hour.

“Oh? Misha, you were still up?”

“Yeah.”

She must’ve been by Claire-sama’s side until Claire-sama had fallen asleep. She had returned to the room in her pajamas. As for me, I was having difficulty sleeping with all of the unnecessary thoughts swirling around in my mind, so I was reviewing for tomorrow.

“Misha, you’re reviewing? You’re so earnest.”

“Unfortunately I’m not quite as quick on the uptake as you.”

“Yes, yes, again with your humility.”

“You sure you’re not talking about yourself, Miss Valedictorian of the Transfer Students?”

Just like that, our casual banter continued on. I felt happy to be able to share small talk. I felt that Rei’s personality and my own were on the same wavelength.

But, that must have been why… I had also let my guard down.

“Hey, Misha.”

“What?”

“So Misha, do you like me or something?”

“Huh!?”

When I unwittingly turned back, I saw my best friend sitting on the bed with her gaze fixed on me.

“You… Just what are you…”

“Did you think I hadn’t realized? I mean Misha, for a long time now you’ve always had your eyes on me.”

Rei put on an almost bewitching smile. Her gaze almost seemed to ensnare something within me. I was aware that I had gulped loudly, but I tried to keep my calm and gloss over that fact.

“You’re interpreting it all the wrong way. You just have a reckless streak, so I can’t afford to take my eyes off of you.”

“You really think so? When we played together in the river, or when I was changing, I kinda felt that your gaze concentrated in certain places.”

“You’re just being self conscious.”

“Heh… Perhaps.”

I had meant to coldly brush her off, but Rei maintained a confident expression. I could sense that she was the one with the initiative.

“But I see… That’s how it was. Just my misunderstanding, huh, that’s too bad.”

“Too bad? What do you mean?”

“I mean just what I said. If it’s with you Misha, I wouldn’t mind.”

“You wouldn’t mind… You… But aren’t you in love with Claire-sama?”

I doubted my ears. Rei was trying to seduce me. That was an act that I couldn’t at all imagine coming from her, who had until now appeared entirely devoted to Claire-sama.

“Of course, I do love Claire-sama too. But you know, it’s not like there’s a reason I can’t love more than one person, am I wrong?”

“That’s just immoral!”

“Heh… Perhaps from your perspective, but—”

Pausing there, Rei stood from the bed and came toward me. As I remained in my chair, she peered down on me for a moment before lowering her mouth next to my ear. Then, she said,

—Getting a little dirty feels good, you know?

I felt a shiver run down my spine. I did think that I was perhaps a little too prudish. But there certainly were times where I felt tired being that way. It’s not like I chose to be like this. Even I wanted—

At that point, I realized that Rei had almost gotten the better of me.

“Rei, what’s wrong, there’s something strange about you.”

“Don’t you get it? I’m seducing you.”

“I got that, but I have no intention to go along with it.”

“Really?”

Rei placed one of her fingers on my lips. Her finger traced a line from one side of my mouth to the other. At times touching, at times straying off, it was tantalizing.

“R…ei…?”

“It’s fine, Misha.”

“What’s fine…?”

“You can just blame it all on me.”

“…”

“I’m the one at fault here so… show me…”

“Show you what…?”

With a low chuckle, Rei whispered,

—How you look, when you get dirty.

　◆◇◆◇◆

My first kiss made my head spin. The feeling as the membranes on our tongues entwined was unlike any other sensation that I had felt before. It made me feel like I was drowning. As we exchanged saliva, I devoted myself to the act of pursuing rei’s lips.

—How dirty. This is absolutely obscene.

My sense of reason that had all but succumbed to my instincts stubbornly gave that warning, but I already knew. I already knew that the stains, the shame… felt good. It was a similar joy to leaving one’s footsteps in fresh snow. I already knew that a certain kind of pleasure came from taking something that was clean and tidy and throwing it into disarray. Rei giggled and said,

“Misha… you’re so cute.”

“… Don’t talk to me.”

“I won’t stop, I mean Misha, you seem so happy.”

“I’m not happy about any of this.”

“You’re lying. If you’re not, then explain this.”

With that, Rei flicked both the tips of my chest from above my bra.

“Ah…!”

“They’re so hard. You know that’s proof that you’re feeling it.”

“Y-You’re such an idi…”

Rei continued on, skillfully using her fingers to play with my chest.

“Misha, you’re the idiot here. Just be honest. You feel happy I’m the one defiling you. You feel good.”

“There’s no way I’m happy… Ahn…!”

“Bad girls who pretend to be goody two shoes must be punished.”

Rei pressed down on my nipples, drawing a circle with her fingers as she caressed them.

“Hmn… Ah…mn…!”

“There’s no point holding it back, Misha, I know all of your weak points.”

Rei put her lips against my breast and began licking. While also intentionally making obscene noises, she used her tongue to toy with me. And yet, her licks somehow felt innocent and simpleminded, like that of a little kitten.

“Fufu, just look at how cute you’ve gotten… How about over here…?”

“Ah…!”

Rei’s slender finger slipped down toward my privates. Parting the prepuce protecting my clitoris, she gently caressed it. In response to pleasure more intense than anything I had ever felt before, I felt myself arching back.

“Ahah, you’re dripping.”

“Ah… Ah…mn…!”

Catching some of the fluids oozing from my genitalia in her hands, she rubbed them back onto my pink jewel. At the mercy of her fingers, I felt an intense heat gathering in my loins.

“So~ Misha? How about it? Feeling a little more honest now?”

“Who… would…!”

“You’re so stubborn. If you would just be honest with yourself, I could make you cum, but no…”

“…!”

Once again sealing my lips, Rei played with my breasts with one hand while using the other to rub my jewel. I was just about to give in to the overwhelming pleasure that was drowning my entire body.

“Misha, this is your last chance.”

“… Eh?”

“Misha, if you say that you like me, I’ll take you all the way. Otherwise, if you insist on being stubborn, it ends here.”

“… You…!”

“So? What’s your answer? Do you like me?”

Rei’s eyes were filled with mischief as she smiled.

That was when I knew.

I was confident that Rei would take me all the way regardless of my answer.

“… I don’t care about you whatsoever. In fact, I hate that you’d do something like this.”

That’s why I chose to respond in that way.

“… That so?”

With just a soft whisper, for some reason, Rei put on a happy smile.

“Got it. Alright, guess we’re done.”

“Eh?”

“Sorry I forced myself on you even though you hated it so much. Well, guess it’s bedtime.”

With that, Rei swiftly put her pajamas back on and returned to her bed.

“N… No way…!”

I only felt regret. My body had practically been lit aflame. She had brought me to the brink and left me there to suffer. I actually wanted her to take me all the way.

I wanted to cum.

“Yup, I knew it. Misha, you finally admitted it.”

“Eh?”

I heard her voice again, right next to my ears. Then, from both my chest and my vagina, an intense rapture that couldn’t be compared to anything I had felt before surged.

“R-Rei!? Why… you… we’re in my bed…!”

“Fufufu, don’t sweat the details. Come on, you can’t hold back anymore can you? I’ll let you cum.”

All of the doubts that flashed through my head were washed away by the huge wave of pleasure that assaulted me. Rei was very skillful with her fingers and brought my entire body to climax in a near instant.

“Fufu, Misha. You’re cute… Really, so cute… Come on, won’t you get even dirtier with me? I’ll make a mess of you…”

“Ah… I can’t…! Rei… I’m… already…!”

“Yup, yup… Misha, would you show me what you look like at your cutest…? Come, and show me what you look like at your dirtiest…”

“~~~!”

As Rei held me, I clung to her with everything I had. My entire body shuddered as I reached climax. To me, who had yet to ever even console myself, the pleasure was too much. It was so intense that I thought I’d lose consciousness.

“…”

Rei simply looked at me happily. Almost like a criminal looking at her accomplice, and yet at the same time, somehow like a motherly saint who would forgive all transgressions.

“Haah… Hahn… Haah…!”

Incapable of anything but gasping for air, I couldn’t say anything to Rei. Just the truth that her hands had violated me and degraded me caused me to tremble.

—It had… Felt incredibly good.

“Misha.”

“… What now?”

“I just wanted to apologize.”

“I won’t forgive you.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s not that, Misha, you’re still pure.”

“… Eh?”

I couldn’t grasp what Rei was trying to get at.

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll know. More importantly though, let’s kiss one last time.”

“Hey, wait just a second, Rei. I demand an—”

“I can’t. I mean, we’re already out of time.”

“Just what are you say—Mmn…”

Rei and I shared a kiss. Nothing like the indulgent ones we had just shared, but a gentle kiss.

“Misha, I’m always grateful. I really hope we’ll continue to get along.”

“Really, just what have you been saying…”

“Fufu, you’ll understand soon. See you’re just about to…”

—Sha… Misha…

“Eh?”

“Fufu, see, she’s calling for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“Don’t you get it?”

“I don’t get it.”

“To put it simply,”

—It’s time… for you to wake up.

　◆◇◆◇◆

“Ah, you’re finally awake. Morning Misha. Class is starting soon!”

“… Rei?”

When I came to, it was already morning. I found myself lying on my bed, without so much as a wrinkle on my clothes.

“You alright? You were tossing about a lot during your sleep.”

“…”

So that means… All that just now… Was just a dream?

“Misha?”

“Ah, yes, I’m fine. I just had a bad dream, that’s all.”

“Is that really all?”

“But… hm. I’m feeling a little off, so I think I’ll skip classes today. Could you tell Tred-sensei for me?”

“Leave it to me. You just rest up, ‘kay?”

“I will. Alright, you should hurry.”

“Yup, alright, see you later tonight.”

“Have a nice day.”

Though Rei still looked slightly worried, she left, leaving me in the room all by myself.

(… Just what kind of dream did I just have!)

To think that I’d dream about Rei and I doing… that.

Do you mean to say that those were my true desires?

No, it couldn’t be.

There was absolutely no way!

But—

(… It really did… Feel good.)

To toss away the facade, to toss away all of my usual reservations and drown in the pleasure, I had come to learn just how good it all felt. Though it was a dream, I still felt the sensation, the pleasure lingering in my skin.

(If I remember… It went like…)

Following what I could remember from my dream, I extended my hands to my breast and my vagina. On this day, for the first time, I learned to pleasure myself.

(Rei… I suppose it really is… Your fault.)

You… Since you said that I could in my dream… If it’s you, I think I’ll take you up on it after all.

My first time masturbating felt so good that it even surprised me, leaving me at the mercy of my own fingers.

AFTERWORD

━┛━┛━┛━┛━┛━┛

Plang-sama.

I am always in your care. This is Inori.　Thank you for making a commission.

As it was a request for a NSFW Rei x Misha story, I did my very best to write it. Given Misha’s character, I thought that both physical and psychological play would be effective, so I made “shame” the theme and the work turned out like this. You paid a fair bit for your commission, so I did my best to match. Did it meet your expectations? I truly hope that you enjoyed it.