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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

It is the Facility's great pleasure to announce the promotion of from the position of "Editor" to the new title of "Director". Throughout the past year he has shown a willingness to work through incredible adversity and has been a great team player, showing great restraint when working with the working girls at the Facility. In particular, we would like to specifically commend him for his handling of what is now known as "The Sex Goblin Incident".

It is for these reasons that "The Editor" will henceforth be known as "The Director".

But mostly because he was tired of calling himself "The Editor".