今年もありがとうございました！ (Pixiv Fanbox)

2022年もいよいよ終わるということで、振り返りながら今年最後の投稿です。

新年絵描いてる真っ最中なので文だけで失礼します。

As the year 2022 is finally coming to an end, this is my last post of the year as I look back.

I am in the middle of painting a New Year's picture, so please excuse me if I only write a few sentences.

何度も言ってしまいますが僕にとって今年はとても悲しい出来事から始まり、辛く苦しい年でした。これからずっと守っていくぞ！と思ってた人が死ぬなんて思いもしていませんでした。心がボロボロになって、絵を描くこともままならず一人で居ることがとにかく辛かった。どうにか友人や色んな方に会って必死に過ごしていました。

I know I've said this many times, but for me this year started with a very sad event, and it has been a hard and painful year. I never thought that someone I was going to protect for a long time would die. My heart was so broken that I couldn't even paint, and it was hard to be alone. Somehow I managed to meet friends and various people and spent my time desperately.

今はだいぶ気持ちは安定しましたが、絵に対してまだ頑張って描いてるというか無理やり描いてる感じが消えません。僕の全ては絵だったので、絵が描けないなんて生きている心地がしない。

正直仕事の絵もままならない状態だったので一時期止めてもらって、FANBOXの収入だけの月もありました。流石にマイナスなので貯金を崩してなんとかやりくり。

Now I feel much more stable, but I still feel like I am trying too hard or forcing myself to paint. My whole life was painting, so I don't feel like living if I can't paint.

To be honest, I was not even able to paint for work, so I asked my boss to stop it for a while, and there were months when I only had the income from fanboxes. I managed to make ends meet by drawing down my savings.

絵が駄目ならちょっと離れてみようと決断して、新しい友達作りを頑張りました。

今いる友達は皆結婚して子持ちばかりで僕だけ取り残されていく「孤独感」が凄いｗ

色んな出会いで最近は年上の方とよく居ることが多くなって、その繋がりで国際的な交流が増えて絵以外で刺激的で楽しい事が多くなりました。

以前話したドイツの話も復活しまして、順調にいけば来年の今頃にはドイツに引っ越しているという超展開になりました。本当に居るのか....ｗ

I decided that if painting was no good for me, I would try to get away from it all for a while, and I tried my best to make new friends.

The friends I have now are all married with kids, and I'm the only one left behind, and the "loneliness" is awesome.lol

Through various encounters, I have recently been spending a lot of time with older people, and through these connections, international exchanges have increased, which has led to many exciting and fun things to do outside of painting.

The story of Germany that I told you before is back, and if all goes well, I will be moving to Germany by this time next year. Are you really there...lol

今住んでる家は亡くなった子との思い出が沢山あるので早く出た方が良いとずっと物件を探していました。最近物件を見つけてここしかない！と内覧なしで契約したら２番手で結局ダメだったりで、ドイツの話も重なったことで今はもう1年も無いしここでいっかという気持ちです。

I have been looking for a place to live for a long time because the house I live in now has a lot of memories of my friend who passed away, so I thought it would be better to get out as soon as possible. Recently, I found a place and signed a contract with no preview, but it was the second best place and it ended up not being good enough, and now that the German story has come up, I feel that I can stay here for another year.

今年は本当に応援してくれてる方にはずっと申し訳ない気持ちでした。

もっと絵を描きたかったんですが駄目でした。

でもこんな僕を変わらず応援してくれてる皆さんがいて、とても救われました。

本当にありがとうございます。

I have felt really bad all year for those who have supported me.

I wanted to paint more pictures, but it was no use.

But I am so grateful to all of you who continue to support me like this, and it has been a great help.

Thank you so much.

来年はドイツに行くという大きな目標が出来ました。

夏には1年も延期になっていたお仕事のお披露目です！

来年は絶対楽しい年にしたい！

この心のモヤモヤが無くなって絵の世界にまた入れるようになりたいです。

こんなNOEYEBROWですが今後も応援していただけると嬉しいです。

では良いお年を！

I have made a big goal to go to Germany next year.

In the summer I'll be unveiling the job I've been putting off for a year!

I definitely want next year to be a fun one!

I want to be able to enter the world of painting again without this blurring of my mind.

I hope you will continue to support NOEYEBROW like this.

Have a happy New Year!