Thanks for being with me when I needed it most (Pixiv Fanbox)

Im sorry I didnt respond to every comment but just know I read them and I love and Appreciate them <3 They really helped me give me courage and strength to know my life isnt over and that it's okay to not put so much pressure on myself.

I always talk about how I'm not alone and how I can handle things and In a lot of ways I convinced myself of that but.. yeah, I feel a lot of weight on my shoulders. I don't really know how to go forward but I will and I will do what I can to make this healthy for me and not worry every 5 seconds if Im gonna lose everything.

You know something that actually helped put things in perspective a bit? I watched Encanto and I really enjoyed it, and a lot of the lessons and plots were stuff that I find really relatable within myself. Blaming myself for things out of my control, Putting pressure on myself to keep up a presence no one expects of me but myself, hiding problems until they get too much to bear. I know it's just a movie but it was nice having my feelings.. like.. known? Plus the music was a banger

I think I also had a lot of stuff in the back of my mind with a lot of promises I made recently. Backlogged Commissions and OC's and things you guys voted on and series I promised. I do best when I just work moment to moment so I think I'll just stick to raffles and ditch everything else for the sake of my mental state.

Some people like to plan their next move but right now I enjoy spur of the moment, no expectations. At least for now until things get better in the head for me.

I know I crapped out on everyone last month and I feel atrocious about that. Please, if you feel like I ripped you off or you didnt feel like it was worth supporting me please please please let me know how I can make it up to you because I really dont know how. I was thinking of just not changing the PW's this month and letting people have a free months but that wouldnt be fair to everyone who paid, so I really don't know, so I'd love ideas <3

But thank you for being there. I promise to look at life with a new perspective and do great things and do right for all of us together!