What the heck happened to VS? (Pixiv Fanbox)

Hello guys.

You may be wondering, what the hell happened, well I'm here to explain my lengthy absence or at least try to.

First of all sorry for the zero to none activity this last couple of months. I never expected for this kind of issue to affect me the way it did.

I can't really tell the whole story, I wish I could, because in those details is where the whole issue lies. Neither I can write the 'condensed' story here, you can find it in Discord. It's quite lengthy.

Long story short...

I lost contact with a very important person in my life, it was a girl that I'm very fond of, we lost contact more than once in the past, but we always find a way to get back in touch. Back in December we get in contact again and we begin to catch up, by the way we talked I thought something great it was about to get started. But it didn't end well, sadly.

For reasons I don't quite understand she blocked me, and I hadn't be able to contact her again.

I have to say, for many this stuff will sound ridiculous, I mean, a girl?... phfff!? I know, but I'm as surprised as you are, I'm a very lonely person, love never was a priority in my life, but this time was completely different, I can honestly say that never before I had felt something similar.

I had been rejected before, like all of us, but this one felt the worst so far, especially because more than anything she was my friend, a dear friend. We had something special regardless of romantic interest or not.

I can only compare it with a family member passing away... It really felt that way, still does. Have you watched The Banshees of Inisherin? well, something like that.

The whole situation is very complex, as I mentioned; the devil is in the details, and had been part of my life for the last couple of years, she was the inspiration for most of the stuff I do in life, not only illustration, but also irl stuff like my hobbies of photography and music, so after losing her I also lost every bit of inspiration that I had.

For a few weeks after I entered a depression cycle, it was so severe, I guess that I had to spend a few days with my parents because even they were worried.

After that I really tried to sit down and draw... but nothing came out... It's very frustrating, especially because I know you still supporting me, I know who remain here are the most hardcore fans that could wait a year if needed, and I feel so grateful, but that's simply not fair.

The last few weeks, I had been slowly gaining traction again, I'm feeling better and I had finished a few doodles and illustrations that will publish in the next few hours. So, at least my career is not over yet.

From time to time, I feel down, but its manageable, I'm trying to think forward. I need to find a new source of inspiration and keeping afloat my only source of income is quite the inspiration.

So... just to wrap things up, thanks a lot for your incredible patience, I really don't deserve you guys, thank you for understand my unusual situation. You are really the best. I'm back to draw cute and funny stuff. And I will do my best to make the wait worthy and recover those who understandably left.

Also, I want to specially thank those who keep contacting me just to check how I was doing. Thanks!

That’s it for now.