SG Vol. 1 pt. 38 (Patreon)

“Papa! I’m home!” Naomi’s shout wakes me up.

Shit, I fell asleep.

“You better have been good and resting!”

I already have one mother. My daughter doesn’t need to act like my second one.

“Papa?”

“Yeah, I’m here,” I answer before yawning.

Something feels soft on the back of my head, and I don’t mean the couch. First of all, I’m looking up at the ceiling. Second of all, my couch isn’t this soft and it sure isn’t this warm. There are also two things getting in the way of me looking up at the ceiling.

“Did you enjoy your nap, sir?” Valkyrie asks, leaning over to show me her face. This also brings those two things dangerously closer to me.

The fuck?

I turn around to see what I’m lying on and… yeah. I’m apparently using her thighs as pillows right now. That explains why it’s so soft and warm.

“Papa? Who’s that? I think I’ve heard that voice before but I can’t remember,” Naomi says.

“She’s one of my students,” I answer. “You might have heard her talk back at the infirmary when you visited me.”

“Oh! Hi!”

“Hello,” Valkyrie says, looking up at Naomi now.

Naomi immediately turns to look this way now that she’s homed in on Valkyrie’s voice. “I’m Naomi! What’s your name?”

“Valkyrie.”

“Oh! I remember you! You’re going to be papa’s friend, right?”

Naomi works way too quickly. She’s as bad as my mother and Zane when it comes to trying to set me up with other women.

“I would think that we already are given how close he seems to be to me,” Valkyrie answers.

Alright. That’s enough lap pillow time. Now, it’s time to give her the same glare that I gave her earlier before I apparently fell asleep.

“May-maybe not that close,” she corrects herself.

“Then you’ve got to get closer!” Naomi declares, throwing her own correction in now.

Can I just know one fucking normal woman?

As fucking crazy as Kate is, at least she’s consistently crazy and just a bitch. She’s not unbelievable like all these other women are.

Thinking of Kate, I’m just glad that she’s not the one who came home while I was apparently taking a nap on Valkyrie. That would have been bad. The whole damn city would have heard her screaming at the top of her lungs about how I’m some pedophile going after my cadets, even though she’s legal, and about how I’m some cheating bastard.

Naomi isn’t even asking why Valkyrie is here. She’s just happy that some other girl is here, probably because she’s hoping I’ll be friends with her.

“Would you like me to be friends with you as well, Naomi?” Valkyrie asks.

“Sure!” Naomi answers. “I want all the friends! Everybody has to be my friend, especially if they’re papa’s friends!”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself,” I whisper to Valkyrie.

“Do get ahead of yourself!” Naomi says thanks to her way-too-good hearing.

“I don’t know who to listen to: my teacher or his daughter,” Valkyrie says.

“That’s obvious if you don’t want to lose all feeling in your body,” I answer.

“Just ignore papa, he’s not that mean! Listen to me!” Naomi says.

Valkyrie couldn’t resist cracking a smile when she heard Naomi say I’m not that mean.

If only Naomi knew. She’s never going to know, and she’s not allowed to know, but if only she knew.

“Sorry, Naomi, but I think I have to listen to your father. We’re supposed to listen to our elders, right?” Valkyrie says.

“Don’t make me sound like some old man,” I say.

“But you are an old man, papa! That’s why you need to hurry up and make more friends before you’re too old! Making friends is going to be hard if you’re too creaky and slow like Grandma,” Naomi says.

I hope that Mom is already back asleep so that she didn’t hear that. Otherwise, her ego is going to be hurt for a few days.

“Naomi, you up for some sundaes for dinner?” I ask.

“Of course! Sundaes are the best!” Naomi excitedly answers, practically jumping up and down from the excitement, but she’s careful not to jump too high since she can’t see. The way she jumps when she’s excited is just too cute. She looks more like she’s vibrating than actually jumping.

“Not for dessert? What about proper food for dinner first?” Valkyrie asks.

Naomi and I both look at Valkyrie.

“Wow… like father like daughter. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people so different glaring at me the exact same way before,” Valkyrie says.

“Naomi, don’t you think that she should be the one to get our sundaes for us for saying something as sacrilegious as implying that sundaes aren’t proper food?” I ask.

“I only understood some of that, but yeah!” Naomi answers.

We’re both still glaring at Valkyrie.

“Alright, I’ll go get you your sundaes,” Valkyrie finally gives in.

“You’re the best!” Naomi declares, her view on Valkyrie now back to being solely positive.

Valkyrie looks at me as if expecting me to change my mood now, too.

“Hurry up,” I order her.

Just because I’m making her make us sundaes doesn’t mean I’m going to think any better of her. Getting me to like somebody is way more difficult than that.

Though, Naomi likes her, so that’s something.

“Papa, you’ll be friends with her and Clover, right?” Naomi asks.

I know that Naomi doesn’t just mean friends, but I don’t know if she has any idea what she’s asking right now.

“And Aunt Tabby?” she adds on.

“No way,” I answer.

Clover and Valkyrie might be a nice fantasy, but it was ruined by adding in that annoying mechanic girl.

“What do you want on your sundaes?” Valkyrie asks from the kitchen.

“Everything.”

“Both of you?”

“Yes.”

Naomi and I managed to answer both questions at exactly the same time with the exactly the same answers.

Like father like daughter, huh?