Christmas Crossover Special! (Patreon)

“Papa, it sounds like there are a lot of people in here?” Naomi asks Lance as the two look ahead at the room full of who appear to be absolute degenerates.

There’s a girl with spider legs, a girl with horns and a serpentine tail, a puppy who’s staring at the girls with large chests, a blonde woman who is eating all of the chocolates on the serving table, and some other men looking around who seem to be equally confused but are accepting the current situation regardless.

“I need my unit,” Lance says, already missing his A-10C VSU.

There is nothing like a giant robot to clear away degenerates from his daughter.

“Hi!” a short girl with the horns of a sheep says, now standing in front of Lance and Naomi. “Did you two get the invitation?”

Behind her stands easily the largest man that they have ever seen. A tall, muscular redhead whose Christmas sweater looks too tight on him and he’s got to be close to eight feet tall.

When Lance looks up to try and make eye contact, all he’s met with is a silent nod.

“Yeah… we did,” Lance answers, pulling out the stamped invitation.

“Great! Then welcome to the party! My name is Fara, and this big guy behind me is Hero! What’s your name?” the sheep girl, Fara, asks while leaning over to look at Naomi.

“Oh! Um… my name is Naomi! It’s nice – nice to meet you!” Naomi answers, smiling up in the direction of Fara’s voice.

“We have a bunch of candy and juice over at the table! You might want to be quick before that vampire lady eats them all, you know?”

“Oh! Papa, can I go eat candy?”

“You can eat whatever you want,” Lance answers.

“Thanks, papa! Oh, umm, could you take me over there?” Naomi asks Fara.

It took Fara a few moments to realize what’s going on, but as soon as she gets asked a question while Naomi is looking right next to her instead of directly at her, she understands. “Of course!” Fara answers, looking up at Lance to get an approving nod before taking the smaller girl’s hand into her own.

With those two heading off together to acquire sweets before a certain vampire eats all of them, Hero and Lance are left by themselves. They stare at each other and… then both follow after their girlfriend and daughter respectively.

Meanwhile, there are two men in the party who… well, of course they’re getting along.

“Nothing beats fluff,” Fenrir says.

“Especially when fucking fluff,” Damian agrees.

“What’s the best fluffy monster girl?”

“Sheep,” Damian answers, shooting a quick look over at Fara.

Fara might not notice the look, but Hero does, so he steps between them and is easily able to hide the entirety of Fara behind his sheer size.

“Sheep girls are cute, but moth girls are the best,” Fenrir says. “You see, moth girls get the bonus of being super fluffy while also being more exotic than the usual sheep girl. They’ve got wings, may or may not have more than one set of arms, and are usually self-conscious about the insect factor which makes them shy and even cuter.”

“You’re not wrong about that, but I imagine sheep girls being better in bed than moth girls. They’re more… animalistic.”

“Yeah, sheep girls are great. I only think moth girls are better by like, one percent.”

“Fair, and I only think sheep girls are better by about one percent. Ultimately, the best choice would be to have one of both. That way you get all the perks of a sheep girl while also having all the perks of a moth girl, both at once. It’d be especially amusing to see them competing in bed trying to prove which one is the superior fluff.”

“That’d be one great way to prove it.”

“Wait, Fenrir, I just thought of something else.”

“What?”

“Fluffjobs.”

Fenrir’s eyes widen up before saying, “You’re right. How could I forget? What kind of fluffjob is the best?”

“Well, depending on how you define fluffjob, anything could be a fluffjob. A handjob could also be a fluffjob, a tailjob could also be a fluffjob, you could even get a fluffjob with ears, and…”

While Fenrir and Damian discuss fluffjobs, their respective harems take turns passing around another man.

And that man is also a puppy.

Akorya’s ears twitch as she holds the puppy who has been introduced as Woofen. “I have a feeling Master is talking about something weird,” she says.

Woofen doesn’t care about anything they’re talking about and is happy to be held with his back against all of the girls’ chests.

He doesn’t even mind the fact that he’s being dangled around from underneath his front legs. All that matters is that Akorya is holding his back against her chest and he gets to stare at Lily’s and Thera’s chests during that same time.

He wants to stare at the chest of the blonde woman, Cassiel, as well since he can tell that she’s got a nice pair under her sweater. Unfortunately, she’s too covered.

Cassiel shoots a glare at him when she can read the sense of disappointment on his face.

“My! It sounds like you must go through so many struggles. It sounds wonderful!” Nell tells Thera.

“You… could say that, I suppose. I would rather not struggle, but there have not been struggles that we have not been able to overcome,” Thera answers.

“But struggling is so romantic! Dramatic! And you are keeping yourself pure while he defiles other women around you! Ah, that sounds wonderful…”

Thera takes a step back with some of her spider legs only to bump into a girl with dark skin and pointy ears.

“Ah, I did not see you there. I apologize for that,” Thera says.

“It’s okay,” Elanah answers, too busy staring at Woofen whenever he looks too happy for being hugged against chests.

“Hey, Elanah, right?” none other than Oleander asks, naturally including himself with the group of girls.

“Yeah.”

“I can totally tell what that look is you have.”

“You… you can?”

“Yeah, you’re like, super obvious.”

“Oh.”

“Do you want to find a way to break through to him?”

“I… guess.”

“Alright! Just listen to me. I can come up with a plan for you to seduce anybody regardless of whether they’re a guy who looks like a dog or an actual dog!”

Cassiel cringes and pretends that she didn’t just hear that.

Now, there is a problem.

Attention is being taken away from Woofen.

Why?

Because the girls are beginning to notice that there is a little girl here.

Over at the sweets table where the one who turned him into a puppy is, there is a little girl clumsily trying to pick up candy, and all of Woofen’s new harem is staring over at her.

Naomi tries to pick up one piece of candy from the table but drops it, and Lance is right there to immediately grab it mid-fall so that he can hand it to her.

Naturally, he can’t resist patting the top of his daughter’s head afterward.

Serra, Cassiel, Nell, and Azalabulia all look over at Fenrir.

Lily and Akorya look at Damian.

Elanah looks at Woofen.

Fara looks up at Hero.

Oleander, not wanting to be left out, looks over at Corwin where he’s busy playing a game of cards with Rao, Frederick, and Zane.

Speaking of others, Shogun and Rock are busy doing their usual cuddling and ignoring everybody else, and then… then there is Tabitha and… Tabitha.

The two Tabithas are sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of each other and have been ever since they saw one another.

“You’re tellin’ me that you’ve got actual giant mechas?” the short Tabitha asks.

“Heck yeah we do!” the taller Tabitha answers. “I get to play with them every day!”

“I want to hear more but I don’t! I want to tinker with giant robots! Do – do they fire missiles?”

“Tons of missiles.”

“Do they have giant guns?”

“Bigger than houses!”

“Giant swords?”

“To cut through all the aliens!”

The short Tabitha’s short twintails are practically spinning on the sides of her heads as she hears more and more. “That’s it!” she announces. “I need to put giant guns and swords on our boat!” She looks over at Fenrir and shouts, “Ya hear that? We’re addin’ guns and swords to The Shoebill!”

“You guys have a boat?” the tall Tabitha asks. “That’s awesome! I’ve always wanted my own boat to play with and to go sailin’ with.”

“It is pretty great. We’ve even got this livin’ tree sort of thing goin’ on that got fused with wood that’s as hard as metal, so it can repair itself with steel-strong wood whenever it gets damaged.”

“How does that even work? We need that!”

“And we’ve got this giant honkin’ horn on it now that’s loud enough to hear from like, an entire small country away.”

“I’m… not sure how useful that would be, but it sounds great!”

“But ya know what we really need to do?”

“What?”

“Ya familiar with a certain little witch and academics?”

Both Tabithas’ eyes light up as they nod at each other.

“Giant flyin’ ship!” the shorter one declares.

“That can turn into a giant robot!” the taller one adds on.

As those two continue worrying everybody in the room about their mad inventions, Lance now has to be jealous as all of the girls want to take turns playing with and talking to Naomi.

The only girls and girl not giving attention to Naomi are Thera, Elanah, and Oleander.

“I would not advise listening to the deer’s advice,” Thera says. “What I have heard thus far is very… concerning.”

“Listen,” Oleander says, “there’s nothing concerning about an elf in love with a puppy! All she has to do is be really forward.”

“If there is one thing I have learned recently, it is that consent is of the utmost importance and that you should absolutely not listen to anything this deer is saying. Furthermore, he is but a puppy. Puppies are not of age, thus are incapable of consent.”

Damian can’t hear the conversation, but an intense feeling of pride fills him nonetheless.

“I guess,” Elanah says.

Oleander pouts and says, “Come on, that’s no fun! Besides, we all know that he’s got to be actually at least eighteen and somewhat perverted if he’s a main character! No main character would say no to this cutie!” He points at Elanah.

As for Woofen himself, who is tired of being called Woofen since his real name is King Pup, he goes over to the only others in the room who might be able to understand him.

He barks at Rock and Shogun.

They lift their heads, look at him, and then go back to cuddling each other and ignoring him.

Dejected, he walks over to Fenrir and Damian to at least listen in on whatever weird conversation they’re having about fetishes and monster girls.

“I like you, Damian,” Fenrir says.

“Right back at you,” Damian says, holding a hand out to shake.

Fenrir shakes his hand and says, “We should talk more often. You got a Fiscord?”

“Fiscord? No, but I have a little spider who can carry messages for me.”

“I’m not sure it would work out then.”

“Yeah, probably not. We could always just meet up again for Easter if another of these parties happens.”

“I have a feeling there are going to be even more people here next time if we have enough meetup. I mean…”

Both men look over at their girlfriends fawning over Naomi.

“As long as I only have sex as a monster, I should be fine,” Damian says.

“Yeah, and as long as I stick to virtual reality, I’ll probably be safe,” Fenrir says.

“Damn bastards being able to actually have sex,” King Pup barks.

“Hey, nothing is stopping you,” Damian says. “Make use of what you’ve got.”

“I don’t have anything! That’s the prob—wait, ya can understand me?”

“Yeah. I can understand all monsters and animals.”

“You… you can actually tell what I’m saying without having to guess and get it wrong?”

“Yeah.”

King Pup looks up at Damian with wide, borderline-teary eyes. “It’s been so long since I’ve been able to actually talk to somebody. The name is King Pup, by the way. Not Woofen.”

“Nice to meet you, King Pup. You looked like you were enjoying yourself over there earlier.”

“Wait, can you actually hear him?” Fenrir asks.

“Yep.”

“I want to talk to monsters and animals.”

“Come over to my place then.”

King Pup asks, “Could ya please explain to everybody that I’m King Pup and not Woofen? And tell that crazy board with the pointy ears that she’s got some fucking crazy tastes?”

“That wouldn’t be any fun,” Damian teases.

“I regret you being able to understand me.”

“He says that he wants you to cuddle him,” Damian tells Fenrir.

“Really? Uh, well, he is just a puppy, so sure,” Fenrir answers, reaching over and picking up King Pup before he has a chance to escape. “How’s this?”

“Damn it! Let me go! I get emasculated enough by women! I don’t need a man treating me like some damn little puppy either!” King Pup barks.

“He loves it,” Damian says.

“Aren’t you Mister Consent?! I’m not consenting to this!”

That is, until Fenrir wraps his large, fluffy tail around to the front of his body to cover King Pup with as if it’s a blanket.

“H-hey! What do ya think you’re doing?! You can’t just… you can’t just seduce me with a fluffy tail!” King Pup barks, totally not enjoying being covered by Fenrir’s fluffy tail.

“He’s really yappy,” Fenrir says. “Rock wasn’t even this loud when she was his size.”

“Looks like he’s calming down now,” Damian says.

King Pup couldn’t resist relaxing within the fluff forever.

It helps that Fenrir is actually holding him properly and petting his head.

“So,” Lance says to Hero, “crazy guys and slavers?”

Hero nods his head.

“Sounds rough. I just have to deal with crazy guys,” Lance says, looking over at Zane, “annoying students, and giant alien monsters.”

“I bet my Hero could help you!” Fara says. “He can beat anything!”

“I don’t doubt it with how huge he is.”

“Did somebody say my hero?” Nell asks. “Hmm. I am not sure how well he would be at fighting giant alien monsters, but he is rather good at defeating slavers!”

“I, Azalabulia, Wielder of the Cursed Flame of Bahamut, would be more than eager to assist in any giant alien monster slaying!” Azalabulia declares.

Lance looks Azalabulia over, ignores her, and returns his attention to Fara and Hero. “Only downside is that I don’t think you’d fit in a unit,” he says. “We’d have to build you a custom cockpit.”

“A unit?” Fara asks.

“Giant robot.”

“Robot?”

“Never mind.”

While Fara pouts, wanting to prove just how useful Hero is and how he could totally defeat even giant alien monsters even though she has no idea what those are, Serra and Cassiel return to Fenrir.

“We want kids,” Serra says. “Look at how cute she is.” She points at Naomi.

“I’m surprised you’re not saying you want to add every single girl in this room into our relationship,” Cassiel says.

“That, too. I want all the girls here in our harem, but not Naomi. She’s too pure. I want to protect her instead. Fen, protect Naomi.”

“Doesn’t she have her own dad for that?” Fenrir asks.

“Everybody needs to protect Naomi.”

“She’s not wrong,” Cassiel says. “Knowing what happens in all of our stories… I’m afraid for that girl’s purity.”

“It’s alright. She’s too young for her innocence to be corrupted. I just want to know what Lily would look like in your armor,” Damian says while looking at Cassiel. “Don’t think her tits would fit, but that’d be great to see anyways.”

Cassiel glares at Damian before looking up at Fenrir. “When are we having kids?” she asks. “Naomi convinced me that it’s finally time.”

“Why have kids when we can have puppies?” Fenrir asks, holding out King Pup to her.

“I don’t want this dog. You can tell that he’s a perverted asshole just by looking at his face.”

“Hey! You’re not wrong, but I don’t deserve to be called tha—damn it, you’re not wrong, but I still don’t like it!” King Pup barks at her.

“It’s okay, Woofen, I think you’re cute,” Serra says.

King Pup looks at Serra’s chest and is just as disappointed as when he sees Elanah’s.

Speaking of Elanah, she’s more than happy to appear out of nowhere to take King Pup into her arms. “I’ll always be here for you, Woofen,” she says.

King Pup turns his head to look up at Fenrir with eyes expressing how betrayed he feels.

…

Later on, Fenrir and Damian have to resist their girlfriends wanting to do anything perverse as they drink more and more alcohol.

Naomi is also finally freed from everybody wanting to talk to her and hug her, too.

Well, there is somebody who has an interest in her.

“Here,” Zurie says, placing a single piece of chocolate into Naomi’s hands. “I saved the final piece for you and was waiting for you to have a moment.”

“Thanks!” Naomi says, popping the chocolate into her mouth. “Oh! It’s really good! Really really good!”

“It is, is it not? I will need to have my butler discover the secrets of this chocolate from whomever provided them for this event.”

“I’ll sell it at my future restaurant on the moon!”

“A restaurant on the moon, you say?”

“Mhm! Papa said I can do anything I want, and that’s what I want to do!”

“It appears that you have quite the father to spoil you.”

“Ehehe, he does! I’m super spoiled.”

“Yet you are still kind and patient. Those are wonderful traits for a girl of your age.”

“And I’m cute!”

“Very much so.”

…

As the night comes to an end, everybody save for Naomi, Rock, and Shogun are somewhat intoxicated. Even King Pup managed to get drunk after Elanah held him up close to a table, allowing him to hop out of her arms, onto the table, and into the junk food and alcohol.

Lance is among the first to leave as it is close to Naomi’s bedtime, and Fenrir is rejecting Damian’s offer to have a giant orgy with both of their harems.

Hero is letting the tired-out Fara use him as a body pillow to sleep against as he sits on the floor, both Tabithas are trying not to cry from having to leave each other, and Corwin is staring at the card-covered table with eyes of shock as Frederick has thoroughly dominated every single card game that they played.

The Christmas party is coming to its end, and it is time for everybody to return to their respective origins which lies beyond the door that they all came through.

Surely, the mystical door that has brought them together to this room will be back again in the future.