ThankYouPatrons Day - Important information! (Patreon)

Hey there. I've been meaning to write a journal for some time and this seems the most opportune time to do so.

I want to start by saying that I absolutely love you guys. Your support is quite incredible to think about! Such generosity proves that the world is not entirely a bitter place! heh

However, I am going to admit that there are negative side effects to this Patreon thing.
Too often I lose sleep over worries that I am letting you guys down with my bad uploading schedule.
Too often I have a guilty conscience towards those I have promised to do things for but not delivered on.
Too often do I feel horrible that I have to lie to people about how I can afford things via drawing lewds on the internet.
Too often I consider quitting Patreon for a while so I can build up more things to upload regularly so you're getting your money worth....which evolves into thinking maybe I should just stop doing art and pay people back that I owe and then disappear.

And yet somehow I persist. Maybe due to the thought of being mocked as someone who didn't appreciate a good thing; a quitter.

I guess a big part of the issue is that I don't feel engaged... It is selfish of me to ask for more but I would really like it if more people commented on my work and my thoughts. It was never about the money, it was about feeling like I belonged to a community where I was appreciated and listened to.

HOWEVER, there in lies some hypocrisy as I don't reply as much as I should. Procrastination is one excuse, the numbers of comments I used to get is another. Know that, though, I love to read your comments even if I don't reply!

And so, I am gonna start going on discord again soon. I thought that maybe if I wasn't on discord people would miss me and I'd get bunch of heartwarming notes telling me how they worried about me and stuff. Well, it turns out that doing that so often results in people thinking of the boy who cried wolf!

People have their own worries and issues so they don't have the time or energy to spend it on fueling my ego!

And so, I am gonna man up and stop this moping (for now!) and see you guys on discord!

I also want to end this on a high note! I want to show you guys one thing I really need help on;

How the hell I can start Finishing things instead of endlessly starting new projects!

Examples of unfinished big projects (all blurred because I still love mystery!):

These are all BIG projects (excuse the pun) that I have been working on for various length of times. And all of them remain unfinished and mostly unshared. I feel such angst at the fact I can't finish them! PLZ HELP!