life update | filming update | random stuff (Patreon)

You don't have to read this, its probably just going to be a lot, i just really need to get this out in a way, to explain why i haven't been filming, vent a bit i guess. 

I think to start, about two-three months back, i got this really bad shoulder pain. Its been so bad that i cant sleep, cant get comfortable, have to take more breaks during filming than usually. It became a constant pain, like wtf.
So i finally decided to see a chiropractor, definitely put a dent in the bank, but it was worth it because i started feeling better, but right now, i am just in more constant pain and extra extra tired. Like i am exhausted, i don't get whats wrong, if i am maybe more sick than i think?

Its been extremely cold and raining, not usual for California, so could be that as well? Knowing my living situation, it gets EXTREMELY cold in my room. And i hear a lot that the cold can tighten up your muscles even more soo... idk.

anyways i found out yesterday during PT (physical therapy) i asked her to touch my shoulder when i move it to figure out why it would crack and she said that it seems like the scapula bone is trying to move over this knot that i have near my shoulder blade.

so thats the problem, i have this HUGE knots in my back, haha, not as bad as i thought, i just thought omg im dying, omg its cancer, omg i broke my shoulder, just overthinking basically.

but its just these big knots that developed over time i guess, oh and my neck is a bit to straight and i need to help it become a C shaped spine again.
so it could be developed from a few different things, i told them that it might be because i sleep on my left side more, its most comfy to me, other than sleeping on my stomach but i had to stop sleeping on my stomach because that hurts my lower back.

- then i told them that i am at my desk all day, like editing videos all day, just surfing the internet, and what not, but i do take breaks.
and then i told them that i do lots of filming at night but i don't think that really hurt my back/shoulder, if anything is hurting while filming, its usually my lower back and i just go take a break and then i am fine.
- then i also just explained to her that i am just a nervous person in general so i am always tense and have to remind myself constantly to take a deep breath and get un-tense and shrug my shoulder to release that tension and what not.

so yeah, thats that.

but thats not ALL why i haven't been able to film, every time i get ready to film, BIRDS.

THESE BIRDS NEXT TO MY HOUSE KEEP CHIRPING EVERY NIGHT WTF. 

last night i woke up at 1 to film and as soon as i woke up i just heard chirping and i was like noOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

they chirped til 3 in the morning.... UGH.

so i am sorry if i dont really have videos coming out these week. and didnt have many come out last week.

I have been streaming a bit more on youtube to make up for the lack of videos but i so miss making them and editing them ugh!! i hope tonight it goes better.
i dont know what with these birds up at night but its one silly problem that i never thought i would have to deal with LOL.

I am going to take advantage of this time and just relax as much as i can and fix my dumb sore body up with some stretching exercises PT told me to do.

so yeah. just going to de-stress, maybe do some surprise streams & try to find a window to film. <3

love u all thanks for listening to me vent/complain XD i love you all, thank you for being here and thank you for your support, literally means the world. Dont know what i would do without you all, <3

also feel free to vent here in the comments or vent over in discord in the venting channel <3