Liebowitz Invest (Patreon)

He was completely over the shock and the panic now. The details were fading like a dream after waking up. Like the mere fact of trying to remember them obliterated them. How he had received the mail, no return address, containing a pair of mustard-colored underwear. How his initial disgust was somehow tempered by curiosity, preventing him from throwing it all away. How he kept the envelope in his office for almost a week, until he finally decided to try them on. It was his size. No one would know. Then the pain.

Searing incapacitating pain as the body convulsed and changed. Losing years, losing pounds, but gaining muscle. Tattoos were sprouting up from the flesh below, like a rotting fruit on time-lapse. As the changes got less and less drastic, he got up from the office floor and shakily stumbled into the bathroom, not so much in pain anymore as bracing for any aftershocks. And sure did he get one as he looked at himself in the mirror.

The only thing he recognized from before was his necklace, and while he had worn it for decades it was plain and not very unique.  No one could identify him from it. He knew he should be worried. Whoever he was now didn't have a name, a place, a job, clothes. There was money in the office, but the number to the safe somehow eluded him. But his thought pattern just kept sauntering to "Fuck yea"