Big Daddy Dispatch: June 2022 (Patreon)

Dispatch Sixty Six, May 28th, 2022



Greetings WHM Family!

What a crazy May! A ton of brand new content got dropped, a lot of fun was had and it was the birth of MINGO (see above)! If you aren't on the top Patreon tier you are missing out on MelR0210, a show that might be the silliest in the WHM Canon. We do get "on one" on that feed, that's for sure.

May is ending with a bang which means, June is right on the way and we've already started recording killer content for that as well! The Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza is going to be in full swing starting June 7th and we've got an incredible line-up for you (see below for the first month of offerings) on the Free and Patreon Feeds including a BRAND NEW SIDESHOW re-capping Obi-Wan Kenobi! There's so much going on I don't know how we're going to find the time to do another virtual live show later this summer–oh, crap...I really shouldn't have said that. Pretend you didn't read that! I could get fired! 


Banner Credit: We Hate Movies The Big Daddy Dispatch by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit:  Mingo by Shawn Goff @ButtonheadCEO via Twitter

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Episode 608 – Soylent Green



WHM IS PEOPLE! The boys head back to the future with Charlton Heston and Edward G. Robinson to uncover a mass conspiracy to churn the dead into food for the (barely) living, which we are about twenty years away from doing for real. What are the ingredients in Robinson’s hobo stew? Can we get just a little bit more context about how the world went to shit or what? Did Heston’s character fuck his life up this hard just to live and have sex in an apartment for a few days? Time to go hang out with my research partner/friend!

Episode 609 – Firestarter (1984)

What if Scanners sucked? Such is the question posed as the fellas take on one of the less successful Stephen King adaptations, in which young Drew Barrymore must fight off a slew of villains who want to control her pyro-kinetic abilities…and then kill her. What the fuck is up with George C. Scott’s character and can it stop? Why would you style your movie to look like a John Carpenter flick and not let John Carpenter make it? What was the thinking behind bringing the film and story to a grinding halt halfway through the runtime?  Nice fire, though. Absolutely stellar fires and explosions.

Episode 610 – Collateral (Patreon Only)



This month on the Patreon WLM Feed, the boys pick up a silver fox Tom Cruise and have a blast re-visiting Michael Mann's stellar action/thriller, Collateral! There's so much to unpack including coyotes that dig on Audioslave, whatever this Ruffalo mustache is all about, and a truly beguiling cameo by Jason Statham! Wall to wall great performances in this one won't stop the boys from talking about sexy, sexy Minions for at least twenty minutes.

Episode 611 – A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors Live In Cleveland! 

Recorded just a few months ago in Drew Carey’s favorite city, Andrew, Eric, Chris, and Steve venture into the dream-world to do battle with Frederick Krueger as he offs a half-dozen or so mentally-ill teens under the care of Laurence Fishburne and Craig Wasson. Isn’t this particularly mean-spirited? What did it take to get Heather Langenkamp back? When are we getting the full Serial treatment for what went on with Krueger? WELCOME TO PRIME TIME…BUDS!

Episode 612 – Top Gun



While Eric is off competing in Top Pod, Andrew, Steve, and Chris head into the skies to have fun, accidentally kill their friends, and kick-off World War III with Tom Cruise, Val Kilmer, and Anthony Edwards. Would you go home with a stranger who sang at you aggressively and then followed you into the Women’s room? How is Goose’s death all about how Maverick is doing? Can we get Kenny Loggins back doing full soundtracks? Who’s up for volleyball?!

Episode 613 – Mortal Kombat (2021)



The guys are unlocking their virtual live show earlier this year to discuss the latest failed attempt to bring the thrill of fighting tournament games to movies, with the feud between Scorpion and Sub-Zero taking center court for this take. First of all, who cares about the feud between Scorpion and Sub-Zero? How do we not even get to a fucking tournament in the first movie? Who the fuck is this new guy who I’ve never seen before and no one cares about? He’s the lead?! A few gnarly deaths do not a good movie make.

NEW PATREON SIDESHOW ALERT: OBI-POD KENOBI



You could really make a case that we just make up new sideshows on the Patreon solely to force the great Felipe Sobreiro draw more kick-ass show art, but it's not entirely true! We're pumped to see what the hell is going on on Tatooine (AGAIN!) in Ewan McGregor's grand return to the Star Wars franchise! It was supposed to be a movie, but now it's a Disney+ show, as is the style of the times.

Listen along as we re-cap every single episode of Obi-Wan Kenobi–which has to be better than that rancid Boba Fett show, right?–starting THIS WEEKEND with a massive re-cap of the first two episodes! You want to get on that $10.00 tier just to hear us react to whatever the hell Hayden Christensen is doing in this show. Let's find out together, shall we?

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.

Andrew: May was a wild month because to my surprise, I really made a dent in the massive To-Watch pile of disc media that's been steadily accumulating on a rack in my home studio. I re-watched Cronenberg's Eastern Promises for the first time in who-knows-how-long on the new Kino 4K. It's such a great goddamn movie and Viggo and Naomi are great together. I was dancing around a full Cronenberg re-watch in the lead-up to Crimes of the Future, which I still may do, even though I've seen the new film. Oh, that's now something I can say publicly that I saw in secret several weeks ago: Crimes of the Future is fucking great. Total return to Old Skool Davey C. in a big, bad way. Viggo, Stewart and Seydoux are all tops. 

I also revisited Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy which, folks, how this is not considered a modern masterpiece and talked about much, much, more, I will never know. Kino 4K looks brilliant. 

I was, as most of you probably know, totally nonplussed by Doctor Strange and the Multiverse of Madness. But speaking of, last night I watched a movie where Raimi actually gets to be Raimi for more than six minutes, The Evil Dead! I picked up the 4k in that really beautiful "The Evil Dead Groovy Collection" that also comes with the 4K of ED2 and the full series of Ash vs. Evil Dead on blu-ray. I've got a lotta great Bruce Campbell coming my way. I wish Universal weren't assholes and allowed Army of Darkness into the set, but whatever. Yes, if a 4K of that is released, this pig will feed... 

I'll end with something fantastic, Judd Apatow and Michael Bonfiglio's George Carlin's American Dream, the massive doc about the late genius and his family. Utterly fascinating and enlightening. It's great to see his multiple career transformations play out and with the staggering amount of archival footage, it's a phenomenal reminder of how Carlin spoke truth to power. Make the time to watch the whole thing. George Carlin is a comedian I've loved since I first found out what stand-up was—that uncle that I've mentioned several times on the show? The one who showed me C.H.U.D. and Star Wars and yelled "crispy critters" after Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru are cooked up? Unsurprisingly, he also turned me on to Carlin. And I have several fond memories of watching the HBO specials as they aired, or driving around our town in Chris Cabin's old Mercury Villager, listening to Carlin sets on the CD player. The man has been with me almost my whole life, and I'd like to take this little corner of the internet to publicly thank Kelly Carlin, George and Brenda's daughter, for being generous enough to share her family's story with the world in this way. 

Chris: I finally got to see The Northman, which I both think is very good and probably the least remarkable film Eggers has made thus far. That’s okay. It’s a more familiar story, made with a much bigger cast and set pieces than his previous features. It doesn’t have the snap of discovery and uncanny madness that powered The Lighthouse and The Witch, but it peppers its well-trodden legend with a variety of curious visual idiosyncrasies and plenty of violence and visceral emoting to pay off its predictable narrative turns.

I was less enthralled by Akiva Schaffer’s Chip ‘n’ Dale Rescue Rangers, which is a shame because I am a big fan of both Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping and Hot Rod. Hell, I even don’t mind The Watch in comparison to this thing. In the most basic terms imaginable, the mixture of different animation styles should really make this more visually interesting than most resuscitations of 80s and 90s IP, and yet it all just kinda looks the same under the flat, dull sheen of the Disney+ aesthetic. And as is usually the case with big-studio movies that seem to be pondering whether they support their own existence or not, the shots it takes at resuscitating IP are mostly just amusing, never cutting. The voice work isn’t even that good, to be honest. It shows more sobriety in its pillaging of other Disney IP than either Ready Player One or Space Jam: A New Legacy showed toward their own catalogs, but not enough to excuse continuing this trend of IP-extravaganzas that no one seems to enjoy or is willing to pay for outside of subscription costs.

In between the new stuff, I’ve been watching a lot of rogue Jacques Tourneur films that I haven’t seen yet – Days of Glory and The Flame and the Arrow are the highlights of this latest marathon. I’ve also been watching movies from 2000, sparked by a wanting to be a Park Chan-wook completist and having never seen his much-touted Joint Security Area, which was indeed very good and thrilling in its aesthetic risks. The year also produced probably my least-favorite Hal Hartley film, The Book of Life, but that’s easy to shrug at when that year also produced such rare fruits as Lou Ye’s Suzhou River, João Pedro Rodrigues’s O Fantasma, and Marziyeh Meshkiny’s The Day I Became a Woman. I would also highly recommend Pedro Costa’s In Vanda’s Room, but I am imagining that the fanbase for 3-hour-ish studies of terminally-poor drug addicts in Lisbon is limited. Great movie, tho.

Eric: I've been going all over the dial this past month, it's been a rough month... but oddly watched a ton of 1990's shot on video TRASH. I didn't watch Kung Fu this month though. I do need to fix that this June. However, here's some first time viewings I really enjoyed: Erik the Conqueror and Black Sunday (1960). Both of these Bava films I never saw before, and I might've liked Erik a little more but Black Sunday is a must see. Erik the Conqueror is a Viking movie that feels slightly epic despite only being like 82 minutes. Great arrow work here too. Shooting arrows onto a building to make a ladder? Genius.

I have to also thank Andrew for getting me into this Sartana western series. I got the 5 film set from Arrow Video and I watched 3 so far and enjoyed them all but especially liked Sartana's Here... Trade Your Pistol for a Coffin.

And since you folks love slop, here's the shot on video films I feel like might be worth checking out if you just drank 30 beers: Death Mask, The Suckling, Phantom Brother, and the truly not good Campfire Tales (1991) which features Gunnar Hansen (Leatherface from Texas Chainsaw with his regular face which is I assure you is just as frightening.) Gunnar plays a drunk drifter telling boys “stories” around a campfire. That's right, shot on video anthology horror. Truly awful stuff! And here's two I think are even worse and not worth your time at all, but hey if you've moved onto beer 31 and 32: Scream Dream and Demon Queen.

New stuff I dug a lot: The Northman and Ambulance. Go see and support movies like those even if it's just a rental so we can slightly, ever so slightly veer away from everything being a superhero movie. Speaking of, yes, I saw Dr. Strange 2 and didn't like it despite thinking Dr. Strange 1 is one of the very best MCU films. At least it prompted me to revisit The Quick and the Dead and that movie rules so hard, so if you want to see Raimi at the height of his powers, this is it. Dr. Strange 2 it ain't! 

Steve: Just what the hell have I been watching? Great question! I'll run down some fun watches below, but please do know that I re-watched American Movie just a few short weeks ago (after watching it in December for the show) because it was on the big screen! Goddamn that movie remains perfect...Will I watch it again around "Thanksgiving time" as is my new-ish tradition? Maybe! Maybe somebody should lock me up first! 

Dog Soldiers: This film has to be on the Mount Rushmore of movies I almost rented from Blockbuster the most growing up, but never actually wound up seeing. I can remember it clearly, it was always in the stack of movies I'd gather as I made my way through the store, but it never, ever made the final cut. Well, this month I rectified that that oversight as this movie has been talked about a ton for it's 20 year anniversary and ...it's just OK! Not bad at all, really. Kind of a fun, macho, werewolf romp with a star-turning performance from Kevin McKidd. Somewhere between Trainspotting and this film, someone hooked Kev up with the Bane serum and the results speak for themselves! This is the movie that launched his career and got him Rome and eventually Gray's Anatomy. Anyways, it's a charming, low-budget, grainy, ultra violent werewolf movie. Not much to complain about. Though, if you're looking for an early '00s werewolf picture that also has some subtext and nuance, please check out the superb Ginger Snaps, if you haven't already.

RRR: Holy crap was this movie fucking fun. I'm in no ways a Tollywood expert, but we've been self-quarantining in advance of a vacation and this movie just dropped on Netflix mere hours after my good friend Andrew Jupin sung it's praises and well, me and my wife ordered some Indian food and dove right in. It's such a blast. Really bonkers action, some real stakes and British BLOKES getting murdered by the dozen. A right good time, innit?? 

One stray thought about RRR I can't shake is that modern Super Hero films would do well by watching this film and realizing you can have incredible action, real stakes, while also allowing for some sweetness and sincerity as it doesn't detract from the audience's investment. It underlines it. Christ, I'd love to see a Superman movie made by S. S. Rajamouli. 

I'm Not There: In our self-enforced exile we popped this on for my first re-watch since I saw it in theaters in '07, when most of you readers were bouncing on your granddaddies knee. Hot damn, did this hold up. Even the VERY STRAINED Richard Gere bit played better this time around. It is amazing to watch Haynes work with so many of these incredible actors, each in these fragmented little takes on the same story. Be forewarned, re-watching this movie will make you miss Heath Ledger a whole fucking lot. Also, what the hell ever happened to Ben Whishaw? I know he works steadily, but between this, The Hollow Crown, and seeing him do The Crucible on Broadway, my dude should be Oscar nominated by now, a few times over. But the roles don't really come to him. Que ser a, I guess. 

Also, yes, Blanchett is every bit as stunning as you remember her in this.

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND

Here's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from 

Alan from Portland who asks: 


"I think I can assume we are all getting sick of movie franchises and that there is a severe lack in the creativity of big studios when it comes to developing new and/or original I.P. That being written, is there a movie in recent years that you believe deserved a sequel or a character that deserved a spinoff but never happened because the studio dropped the ball? If so, what would you have wanted to see in that sequel or spinoff?"


Andrew: The answer is simple, Alan, Dredd. It's utterly absurd that such a bad-ass adaptation, that saw Karl Urban blow Stallone's performance out of the water, never got a sequel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the plot of the film is much like The Raid. OkAy... — Given another chance to tell another story, it would've been another great ride on the Dredd Express. Alas...  

Chris: Here’s one you can go either the sequel route or TV route with: The Florida Project. In either case, you start with a new group of tenants moving into the apartments, but Willem Dafoe is still the super/manager. If it’s a for-real sequel, you could focus exclusively on Dafoe’s character and use it to explore the state of housing in Florida (America). I like the idea of giving Dafoe the stage and letting a host of unknowns interact with him and create scenarios for him to navigate. For a TV show, you must nail down Dafoe, but you focus on new tenants every season, maybe even every episode? Think FX’s Fargo if it hadn’t fallen into complete disrepair. Just a scene or two of Dafoe in each episode, or like four big scenes over a season with some small appearances elsewhere. He can just be watering the flowers in the background for all I care but let him do his thing. In either case, let Dafoe do his thing. 

Eric: I went from heavily criticizing the trailers to being a big Alita: Battle Angel fan. I think that movie deserves a sequel. Sure it's kind of a CG spectacle but I never knew which way it was going to go while I was watching it. I think the reason we bash Marvel more and more is those films feel written by committee now and you, in the audience, will easily know what will happen minute to minute and that's not exciting. I'd also like a Nightmare Alley prestige TV series. 

Steve:  The answer, Alan, is simple: The New Mutants! Kidding! My god...could you imagine???

No, my honest answer is I'd love to see Jeffrey Wright reprise his CRIMINALLY OVERLOOKED performance as Roebuck Wright from The French Dispatch, this time as the star. I know Wes doesn't do sequels or cinematic universes, but hot damn! Wouldn't it be something to watch Jeffrey Wright revisit this character in a starring role? All you have to do is send Roebuck on another article assignment and BAM! Writes itself.

JUNE SCHEDULE

Say what? The Schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter you get a sneak peak at what we're putting out for this June for the first month of the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza! 

Episode 614 — City Slickers

Episode 615 —  Expendables 2

Episode 616 —  Cats & Dogs

Episode 617 —  Despicable Me


Patreon Episodes:

Patreon Exclusive We Love Movies — Jurassic Park

Animation Damnation — Happily Ever After: Fairy Tales for Every Child:  "Henny Penny" (s3, e6)*

The Nexus: TOS: "Is There No Truth No Beauty?" (s3 e5) TNG: "Deja Q" (s3, e13)

Gleep Glossary: Davin Felth (the "Look sir! Droids!" Sand Trooper)

Melr0210: 90210: "My Desperate Valentine" (s2, e16) Melrose Place: "Revenge"  (s2, e3)

Once in a Lifetime: Babynapped aka Born and Missing

Obi-Pod Kenobi: Episode 1 - Episode 5, which covers the WHOLE SERIES! 

Find all this crap and enjoy it legally, just like we do! Now!

*if you're curious why we're doing such an obscure HBO Fairy Tale show, you should check out the cast listing, here.

PATREON RSS BUG

If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try un-subscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." 

Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION




Our Youtube Channel continues to kick-ass folks!  Eric has also put out great clip packages like Toby Jones in Bee Movie, Sausage Claus, David! Muppet Hitchcock Presents, Egg Lawyer, Lak Sivrak, the Wolfman of Star Wars, Michael Biehn at Comic Con, Loose Loomis, and many more! You can also watch the entirety of our Witchboard episode! Complete with visual gags (most of which are almost funny.). You'll find all sorts of cool shit like Mailbags, VHS Trailer Games, Full Episodes like Eternals, Saw III, and Resident Evil (2002). Like we said above these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already! 



We just want to let you folks know that the Scanner Cop 1 & 2 collection is back in stock on the Vinegar Syndrome website! Why should you care? Well, A.) Those movies are awesome and B.) Scanner Cop features a synchable, hilarious commentary by your friends at We Hate Movies! Get your copy now before it's off the market! 

This month on Hooked on T.J. Hooker: Eric and Ben watch as Hooker deals with an old nemesis and a shit ton of 'splosions!  Listen here!  

If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our TeePublic store! We've got awesome designs including a MINGO (copyright forthcoming) shirt from MelR0210 by (you guessed it) Felipe Sobreiro! We also have a ton of great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come! 

That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! See you next month! 

Take it easy,
Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve
We Hate Movies