Big Daddy Dispatch: October 2021 (Patreon)

Dispatch Fifty Eight, October 4th, 2021



Hello WHM Family!



Oh, yes...It's that sweet sweet time of year where the leaves are changing and crunch underfoot (or they would if the planet wasn't dying), it's the Halloween Spooktacular, folks! You've waited all year for it, hell, we've waited all year for it as well. It's time to get your gorehound sweatpants on, sit your ass on your couch and watch a ton of horror movies with us! This year we have a stellar line-up and a very special and spooky guest appearance by two pals we've been dying to have on for a long time now. It's all here! Werewolves! Midwestern serial killers checking out the West Coast!  Vidya games! The luck of the Irish! We're so damn excited to share all this with you and see some of you fine folks on the road!

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies The Big Daddy Dispatch by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit:  We Hate Movies Spooktacular by Felipe Sobreiro

WHM FALL TOUR!!! WITH A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

It's finally here! The much delayed, much re-scheduled, and much anticipated We Hate Movies fall tour! Starting next week we are playing seven shows in seven cities in the next three months, and we couldn't be more excited to get back on the road and perform We Hate Movies live! So, if you're in the cities below, if you're vaccinated (and have proof), and like to see live comedy, come on out and say hi to your old pals, won't you? 


OCTOBER:

10/13, Cleveland, OH -  Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors at Hilarities

10/14, Chicago, IL - Taken at Zanies Chicago NEW CITY ADDED

10/16, Detroit, MI - Robocop 3 at the Majestic Theatre

NOVEMBER: 

11/18, Charlotte, NC - Under Siege at The Comedy Zone

11/19, Asheville, NC - Junior at The Orange Peel

11/21, Nashville, TN - Footloose (1984) at Zanies

DECEMBER:

12/9, Brooklyn, NY - The 10 Year Anniversary Show (One Year Late): C.H.U.D. at The Bell House

Come see us live! You'll regret it if you don't!

Tour Art by the Incomparable Felipe Sobreiro

LAST MONTH ON WHM

Episode 565 – Resident Evil 



 A horror movie in September? The boys head into *muffled laughter* Raccoon *continued muffled laughter* Raccoon City to help Milla Jovovich and Michelle Rodriguez fight off some plague zombies or whatever the games are about. When did these movies become high art? Jesus Christ, why does the big baddie at the end look like a jib-jab? Can we get a good kill after the laser grid? Might be nice in your fucking zombie movie.

Episode 566 –Memento (PATRONS ONLY)

For this month’s We Love Movies episode, Andrew, Eric, Steve, and Chris talk Chris Nolan for the first time and follow around an amnesiac detective on the trail of the man he believes killed his wife. Do you think Jonathan Nolan tried to brand this as a "The Nolan Brothers" film? Do you remember this movie being this devastating the first time? Why isn’t Guy Pearce in everything now? Is it okay to get a Leonard Shelby tattoo? Remember Sammy Jankis.

Episode 567 – Hiding Out



For their back-to-school episode, the gang helps Jon Cryer’s on-the-run mafia informant blend in as the cool outsider at his cousin’s small-town high school. Why is this grown man seducing and making out with children? Was any actor ever as annoying as Keith Coogan was in the 80s? How is anyone being fooled by Cryer in the Ducky-Lite outfit? Seriously, he gets horny for Annabeth Gish, who looks like a baby in this movie. Gross. Super gross.

Episode 568 – Varsity Blues

Speaking of gross! Andrew, Chris, Steve, and Eric hit the field with a bunch of good old Texas boys, including Dawson and the late Paul Walker, in a heated battle against noted wrinkled ballsack Jon Voight. Did I just see Scott Caan’s ballsack? Is that a baby Jesse Plemmons? Wasn’t this a lot funnier when horny demon Bill Clinton was in office? Now, let’s talk dick names and slang. 

Episode 569 – Single White Female with Jourdain Searles



Friend of the show Jourdain Searles of the Bad Romance podcast stops by the clubhouse to talk about this infamous horny thriller in which Bridget Fonda’s life is taken apart when she rents a room to quiet, creepy Jennifer Jason Leigh.  Holy shit, Barbet Schroeder directed this mess? What is with this photo of Steven Weber on Fonda’s fridge? Are there still serial-killer apartment basements like this out there? And don’t fret, folks – there’s also plenty of Tobo Talk.

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.

Andrew: Every year the vast majority of my September is taken up by the fall film festival season here in North America. For me, it's the Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) and the New York Film Festival (NYFF) that I attend each year. Thanks to covid, I still had to virtually attend TIFF this year, but the NYFF industry screenings were IRL and I have to say, it was totally magical being able to see a film with that crowd again. Anyway, from both festivals, here's some great stuff I saw over the last few weeks that I hope you get to see soon:

Ritwik Pareek's Dug Dug - A totally entertaining religious satire from India that unfolds mostly through instrumental musical montages. Unfortunately it's still seeking distribution in the US, but fingers crossed someone finds this one and puts it out for all to enjoy. It's one of the best things I saw at either festival.

Céline Sciamma's Petite Maman - This was the best thing I saw at either festival. I absolutely loved it. To be as reductive as possible, it's like a much more beautiful, way lower stakes Back to the Future. Only kinda joking. But it's so, so great and the two lead child actors are fantatsic—not a drop of obnoxious kid actor nonsense to be found! This one releases in the US sometime in Q1 of 2022, from NEON Rated. 

Penny Lane's Listening to Kenny G - This was a delightful watch. Kenny G is a truly genuine and sweet person, with just the right amount of totally earned cockiness. The film tries to get to the bottom of why human beings react so defensively and aggressively about different musical artists. Why is it that when we hear someone say they like Kenny G's music most of us get so mean and angry and jump to slam him? The film also asks, is Kenny G's music legitimate jazz? This film is the next episode of that HBO/Ringer music series that aired the Woodstock '99 doc, so look for it there. 

Clio Barnard's Ali & Ava - Just pitch perfect, humanist filmmaking here. A grounded, lived-in, beautiful film about family, love, grief, friendship, and enjoying the Buzzcocks over Bob Dylan. Two incredible lead performances from Claire Rushbrook and Adeel Akhtar. At the time of this writing, I believe the film is still undistributed in the US. 

Radu Muntean's Întregalde - One fact about my cinematic predilections that goes mostly unobserved on our comedy shows is how much I enjoy films from the Romanian New Wave. Romania is a totally fascinating country and the filmmaking community there is one of the best in the world. To that end, I was stoked to check out the latest from Radu Muntean and I'm pleased to say it's a fantastically done test of morals that also plays like a bit of a creepy thriller. Like Force Majeure before it, I'm really interested to see what kinds of conversations this film will start with audiences. As I write this, I believe it's still undistributed in the US as well, but fingers crossed Romania-friendly distribs like Magnolia or IFC pick it up.

Paul Verhoeven's Benedetta - Boy, was it ever refreshing to watch an outrageous, often hysterical, super-sacrilegious, incredibly erotic film in a theater. This was a wild, wild ride and it felt great to watch a real deal movie for grown-ups. It releases here in the US on December 3 from IFC Films.

Okay, I'll stop there because I could go on for pages. I should also note that as I'm writing this, I still have several more films from NYFF left to screen, including the new Wes Anderson and Joel Coen films, but if the lineups at these festivals are any indication, we're in for a fantastic upcoming year of film, friends!  

Chris: Well, folks, I have been at New York Film Festival with Andrew. As a result, I’ve been watching way too much so here’s just some brief words about a few that have stood out:

Red Rocket: You will rightfully be hearing a lot about Simon Rex’s thrilling and uproarious performance as an ex-porn star who returns to his hometown in Texas and begins looking for a new grift in this film but Rex is only the highest peak in Sean Baker’s dazzling panorama of America in decline. Trump factors in heavily but Baker smartly goes after something bigger than merely trying to point out the hypocrisy and idiocy of right-wingers. You see Trump – Clinton too – but Baker’s fascination is primarily with a cheesy, primal kind of masculine idolatry that leads to someone like Trump. Rex’s porn star still represents a juvenile ideal of masculinity – a hustler who gets paid to fuck – but it's one that’s easy to fall back on when your desperate pleas for respect and dignity are only answered with violence and humiliation. As you may suspect, this is an altogether nastier and bleaker affair than The Florida Project, but it’s still primarily a big-screen comedy, one of the best ones to be released stateside in the last few years in my book. 

The Tragedy of Macbeth: No spoilers but God damn, the son of a bitch did it. Absolutely bewitching from moment one, and thankfully confronts the density and playfulness of Shakespeare’s wordplay. So often you watch these modern adaptations, and you feel like you’re watching an expensive recital. Even the minor performances here feel as if they have been allowed the words to roll around in their mouths and minds for eons. Frances McDormand and Denzel Washington do work in this film that would easily rank amongst their best, and Corey Hawkins absolutely kills as MacDuff. Limited by certain streamer-friendly effects shots but certainly quells any fears one might have had about a solo Joel Coen movie.  

The Souvenir: Part II: It took me time to fully appreciate the bristling personal details and patient, enrapturing sense of period in Joanna Hogg’s The Souvenir, despite being absolutely blown away with the two central performances from the moment I first saw them together on screen. No such need for hesitancy in declaring my love for that film’s far more liberated sequel, which finds our heroine, Julie, attempting to grind out her thesis film while still sorting through the ashes of her relationship with Anthony. No doubt Hogg banks a lot of the bolder stylistic decisions she makes here off of the fact that we are deeply familiar with Julie and many of the side characters who are now major collaborators in her work. Still, that only partially accounts for how assuredly and unpretentiously Hogg deploys meta elements in the re-telling of her own film school travails. If you need me, I will be watching all her other movies now.


Eric: Copshop: I went to this movie expecting maybe something for January, but no, I don't think it's bad enough personally. Gerard Butler looked straight up unhinged in some photos for this, so I knew I had to check it out regardless. You might've seen me post on Twitter and Instagram that I couldn't wait to meet fellow But-heads at the screening, but literally nobody else showed up. Watched the movie by myself in the heart of Times Square. But don't worry, right after the movie I saw some guy's dick come out of his pants and start pissing all over the subway staircase on 8th Avenue and 42nd Street, so despite low theater attendance, New York is indeed BACK.

So back to Copshop: It isn't exactly “good” but between this and Wrath of Man, 2021 is shaping up to be a real nice Dadfernoon Renaissance. I appreciated the minimal locations and tense shoot 'em up type of vibe but I feel like it ultimately feels a bit flat. And I wish I had my Butler dialed up to 11, but no, Tuby Huss is dialed up to 11 and while I usually enjoy him in stuff, I didn't vibe with this one. So I guess it's a light recommend! Alexis Louder is good in it though!

Malignant is actually similar to me with Copshop, both movies that are serviceable that I wish were better. Cry Macho too, but I kinda dig seeing ridiculous elderly Clint movies.

So I know maybe zero to two people are waiting for Eric's Kung Fu Corner and boy howdy do I have a humdinger for you this month. It's called The Battle Wizard from 1977 and I saw it in person at the Spectacle Theater in Brooklyn's “Fist Church” mystery Kung Fu screenings. This was also another movie thing nobody else showed up to. However, they missed out on a lot. It's got it all: Snakes going inside people, insane magic scenes, and of course robot legs. It's available to rent on Amazon Prime in the US and it's well worth it and hey, if you like short runtimes it's only 77 minutes.

I watched other shit too, but I've written enough, HAVEN'T I? Okay, I'll give you one more take and this is a spicy one: I finally watched Cruella and it turns out I absolutely hate Cruella. I thought it was dog shit. Sorry! I am shocked so many people even remotely liked it.

Steve: Boy oh boy did I see a lot this month, but I've seen a ton in the past few days that are very much on my mind, so let's go through them, shall we? 

Venom: Let There Be Carnage: I left the theater for this one over 30 hours ago and I still don't know what to make of it. It's an insane film. Is it good? Absolutely not. Is it bad? Probably empirically. Was I entertained the whole time? Yes, yes I was. Will I see Venom 3? Sure, what the hell am I doing? Tom Hardy doubles down on his endlessly watchable Eddie Brock performance, essentially playing a heroin addict who literally has bugs crawling under his skin, and you know what folks it's effective. A lot more Venom voice in this one, and I gotta say, it always charms me. Naomie Harris is VERY game to match the bonkers energy of the film and she is chewing on any scenery she can get her hands on. Unfortunately, Woody Harrelson is wasted and either had a lot of material deleted or really wasn't game to be in this movie. He seems embarrassed most of the time (and wearing that wig, who wouldn't be?). All in all, it was worth the ride.

Possession (1981): Finally caught this one, and just wow. I'm totally blown away. Sam Neill is absolutely fucking terrifying in this one folks and Isabelle Adjani gives an absolutely harrowing perfomance. You feel her conflict and pain and madness in every uncomfortable second. That is the word of the day though for this flick UN-COMFORTABLE. I really loved the film, it's gorgeous to look at, totally fresh and unexpected from moment to moment, but man, it has joined the Mount Rushmore of movies I really loved, will not stop thinking about, but will likely never ever see again. A rough one. 

Midnight Mass: I still have two episodes left to go, but if you've been following me on Twitter you know I've been absolutely in love with Mike Flanagan's latest Netflix effort. It's his best work so by a mile. It's a beautifully observed, well realized master class in longform horror. It's a slow burn, but by taking his time, you really get a sense of all the characters, how much they need Hamish Linklater's nightmarish agent of change in their lives and just how fucked they are all going to be because of it. Well, I hope anyways, because I loved Hill House but the "happy ending" really soured me on the whole series. Here's hoping for an approriately horrific ending. I'm routing for you Mike!

PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND

Here's a fun space where folks on Patreon get to ask us Questions directly. This month's entry comes from 

Nikki from Milwaukee who asks: 

"Jason Voorhees vs Michael Myers in a foot race? Who would win?"

Andrew: Honestly, it depends on where the race is happening. If it's a race through the woods, well that's Jason by a country mile. He knows the forest well and is sensitive to things like upturned roots, hills, open graves he's dug—the dude can navigate the terrain much better than Michael. But if you drop this race in the suburbs on Halloween night? That's Michael's race to win. Jason would be way too distracted by all the trick-or-treaters running around and light-up lawn displays and what not. He'd be like one of those dogs at a dog show that as soon as their owner lets them off the leash, they run completely off the course and disqualify themselves. Michael would stay focused and get to the finish line with plenty of time to spare/kill people. 

Chris: Jason shows his wounds a lot more often. You catch him slipping and put a machete through his thigh and he’s going to have a bit of a limp, depending on which sequel you’re watching. He’s also a bit of a showboat, so you know he’s more into the spectacle of the race than the actual work. Myers in a walk.


Eric: I'd give it to Michael Myers. Dude knows how to drive cars. I know you said “foot race” but given that these mean slasher guys don't tend to play fair, I just think Myers would hop into a station wagon. Now if we're actually on foot, I do think Andrew has a point about terrain. However, as you'll see in Halloween H20 this month: Myers has a brisk mall walk. Jason is more lumbering. So I still think Michael edges Jason out (Mmm, now there's a nice mental image. Sorry. I got distracted. End of answer.)


Steve: There's gotta be a way to choose Jason here, right? Like what if old Mama Voorhees was calling him back to hell and he knew he'd be in deep shit if doesn't bust his little buns to get there? No...that's all wrong, it's gotta by Myers. He doesn't exactly have a runner's body, but in the realm of slasher's he's pretty fit, much more in shape than say Jason or Leatherface, so yeah, you give these two dudes an open track and a sexed up co-ed at the other end of it, I'm going to put a C-note on Michael getting to her first. 

If it's on ice? Maybe Jason has a chance.

OCTOBER SCHEDULE

Say what? The Schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter you get a sneak peak at what we're putting out for the 2021 Spooktacular! 

Episode 571 —  An American Werewolf in Paris

Episode 572 —  Halloween H20: 20 Years Later

Episode 573 —  Stay Alive (2006)

Episode 568 —  Leprechaun with James and Chelsea of Dead Meat! 

Patreon Episodes:

Patreon Exclusive We Love Movies — An American Werewolf in London

Animation Damnation — Doug: "Doug's Halloween Adventure" (s4, e4)

The Nexus: TOS: "Bread and Circuses" (s2 e25) TNG: "The Enemy" (s3, e7)

Gleep Glossary: Finis Valorum

Melr0210: 90210: "Camping Trip" (s2, e7) Melrose Place: "The Test"  (s1, e27)

Synchable Commentary: The Prowler

Find all this crap and enjoy it legally, just like we do! Now!

PATREON RSS BUG

If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try un-subscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." 

Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!

UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION




Oh my god, you're still not subscribed to our Youtube Channel? What is WRONG WITH YOU! If you were subscribed you would've seen our excellent September Mailbag. Also, you'd be able to watch the entirety of our Witchboard episode! Complete with visual gags (most of which are almost funny, see above). You'll find all sorts of cool shit like Green Rooms, VHS Trailer Games, Full Episodes like Weekend at Bernies, Weekend at Bernies II, The Mummy, Witless Protection, and P.S I Love You! Eric has also put out great clip packages like David! Muppet Hitchcock Presents, Egg Lawyer, Lak Sivrak, the Wolfman of Star Wars, Michael Biehn at Comic Con, Loose Loomis, and many more! Like we said above these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already! 




Hey there, did you know that ALL of the art from this month's Dispatch, and about 60% of all Dispatches, our show logo, our new tour art, Youtube thumbnails, etc. etc. are all done by this fantastic artist named Felipe Sobreiro? Well, it is, and he fucking rules. Full stop. We are so excited that he has re-teamed with friend of the show and shitty cinema guru, Nathan Rabin for The Weird A-Coloring to Al, an amazing collection of Felipe illustrations of the one and only Weird Al Yankovic that you can COLOR IN! It's available right now, so go get your copy and tell Nathan and Felipe WHM sent ya! 



We just want to let you folks know that the Scanner Cop 1 & 2 collection is back in stock on the Vinegar Syndrome website! Why should you care? Well, A.) Those movies are awesome and B.) Scanner Cop features a synchable, hilarious commentary by your friends at We Hate Movies! Get your copy now before it's off the market! 

This month on Hooked on T.J. Hooker: Eric and Ben begin the daunting task of the fourth season of T.J. Hooker, but this time they're not alone...they've got all of We Hate Movies to lend a hand! Listen here! And remember...you can lick anything! 

If you're a fan of the show and a fan of looking sharp, you should check out our merch on our TeePublic store! We've got awesome designs including our brand new 2021 Tour Logo by (you guessed it) Felipe Sobreio! We also have a ton of great designs like The VHS Trailer Game Logo, Egg Lawyer, The Order of the Boop, The Kornkast design and many more, with more to come! 

That's going to do it for this month's Dispatch! Thank you all for your incredible support!

Take it easy,
Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve
We Hate Movies