Big Daddy Dispatch: September 2020 (Patreon)

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Dispatch Forty Six, September 6th, 2020

Hello WHM Family!

Somehow, We Hate Movies has returned...for SEASON 11! That's right, we are barreling forward in uncertain times with a kick-ass new season, with brand new surprises, a KornKast, and next month's ALL NEW, ALL DIFFERENT, Spooktacular! We also have an exciting theme month coming this November that we can't say anything else about right now—so don't ask! This next month we're continuing to tick off some major Stay Tuned's including...well you'll see below! 

Banner Credit: We Hate Movies The Big Daddy Dispatch by Felipe Sobreiro

Image Credit:  KornKast by Felipe Sobreiro

WHM 2020 TOUR UPDATE: SALEM VIRTUAL TIX ON SALE

As we mentioned last month, we've had to kick out all our 2020 Live Shows to 2021, and all that info is available on our website now with ticketing links!

We do have one Live(ish) date in 2020 we want to promote and that's our Virtual Appearance at the Salem Horror Fest ! We were super pumped to do this show in person but we're really happy with being able to talk about 1985's bonkers Witchboard as a full-length episode recorded via Zoom on video! Yes, you get to watch us make jokes! That must get you off you sicko, doesn't it? 

ALSO, we're providing an exclusive Animation Damnation (also via Zoom) on the abysmal cartoon, Tales from the Cryptkeeper!  If you're a WHM fan you won't want to miss this! Also, check out all the other incredible shows providing content to this virtual festival! 

LAST MONTH ON WHM Episode 498 – Dante's Peak with Justin J. Case

The boys welcome back disaster movie aficionado Justin J. Case to talk about Dante’s Peak, the Deep Impact to Volcano’s Armageddon. Is the town of Dante’s Peak constructed entirely out of graham crackers? Is Pierce Brosnan’s character just a really, really hot idiot? What is the sandwich etiquette for helicopter pilots when eating while working? Prepare for quite a lot of coffee talk, folks.
Episode 499 – Multiplicity

The four Andrews hide out in the garage apartment to discuss Harold Ramis’ muiltiple-Keaton comedy, in which a middle-aged contractor needs three clones of himself to live a fulfilling life with his family. Is this really all because he can’t golf? Exactly how many of these jokes were left on the Married…with Children writers room floor? How does Andie MacDowell not know she is fucking three different Keatons? Oh, and is John Delancey still in that Port-a-Potty?
 

Episode 500 (Part I) – Superman III: Redux 

For the big Five-Oh-Oh, Andrew, Eric, Chris, and Steve remake an early favorite episode of WHM: the two-part Superman 3 & 4 episodes, featuring an exasperated yet ever-inspiring Christopher Reeves as the man of steel himself. First up: Richard Lester’s Superman III. Jesus, did the guys really sound like that a decade ago? What is the purpose of putting Richard Pryor in this movie? Who exactly was looking to see Superman go to bone-town? Did…did Superman just eat dog food? At least it never got worse than this, right?......Right?!?

Episode 500 (Part II) – Superman IV: The Quest For Peace Redux 

For the second part of WHM’s 500th episode, the boys return to a historic meeting, not unlike Kubrick and Spielberg in A.I.: DC Comics and The Cannon Film Group in Superman IV: The Quest for Peace. Excuse me, the villain guy is named Nuclear Man? Really? No workshopping that one? Okay. Cool. And the movie is kicked off by a shitty kid writing a letter to Superman? That’s not just a joke made up by the internet? Okay. Good to know. Can someone please get a check on the real damage of all those memory wipes on Lois? Probably not. Here’s to 500 more!

Episode 501 – Superman: The Movie (PATREON EXCLUSIVE)

For our patrons-only WLM episode this month, the gang return to Smallville once again to the best of the franchise, Richard Donner’s original film with Reeves as the son of Jor-el and Marlon Brando as big poppa Jor-el. Did Superman’s dad spend his final moments on his planet screaming “I TOLD YOU SO?” Can we subscribe to the Jor-el podcast? Does Lex Luthor do business with the Ninja Turtles? Otisberg? OTISBERG?!

Episode 502 – While You Were Sleeping with Chelsea Jupin

On the season finale, Chelsea Jupin returns to talk about the sweetest movie to ever be made about jail-able offenses disguised as quixotic romance. Featuring Sandra Bullock as a woman who pretends to be comatose Peter Gallagher’s soon-to-be wife for supposedly not-scary reasons. How does one properly deal with a sex pest like Michael Rispoli’s character in this? Is Sandra Bullock’s character regularly hucking trees through her neighbors’ windows? What long-range scam is Jack Warden’s character up to here? Note from Chelsea: NONE OF THAT MATTERS! IT’S BRILLIANT!
 

WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

This is a space for us to talk about some NON-We Hate Movies related content that we've shoved into our eyeballs in the last month: TV, Movies, Cartoons, and Sports (maybe?). Just about anything that isn't pornography.
Andrew: Okay, so the last month saw me really digging into the gaming side of my life that I'd been ignoring for a couple weeks. I, like Eric, am absolutely loving Ghost of Tsushima, one of the most gorgeous games I've ever played. Some nights I find myself high as a kite, just walking through fields and riding my horse around. Normally in games like this, I'm all about the main missions and once I'm done I may as well throw the game in the garbage once I'm done. But with Ghost, I'm doing all the temple reveals and seeking out the undiscovered locations and all that fun stuff. The other day I wrote a haiku! It really says something about the quality of this game because since the gaming world's advent of Side Missions, I've almost exclusively ignored them.

Another game I'm having a ball with is the remastered Destroy All Humans! that was also released on PS4. I never played it upon initial release, but this game is fun as hell. There's something incredibly cathartic about going around as this little Grey and zapping people, pulling out their brains, and throwing them halfway across town with your telekinetic abilities! I also love cruising around in the saucer and burning buildings to the ground. Hot damn!

And finally, I picked up the new Iron Man VR for PSVR and holy crap is that fun. On my first time out, it was kind of late, like around 11-ish, when I started and I told myself I'd play just long enough to learn the controls and maybe do one mission. Well, I started the game and immediately you get to fly around like Tony Stark and the next thing I knew, well, it was somehow pushing 3am! I tend to lose track of time when I'm in VR, but this was the longest stretch. I had no idea how much time had passed and only came to realize it when I took the head set off to use the restroom. I was legit shocked that nearly four hours had passed while I was in-game flying around as Iron Man. Fun. As. Fuck.

On the Film/TV front, more to talk about in next month's BDD, but for now I'll just say that we're knee-deep in HBO's The Vow and it's quite strange because the whole thing went down like half a mile from my parents' house. It's incredibly strange seeing their sleepy little Upstate town all over this insane sex cult documentary!

Chris: Though I am a big fan of both The Future and Me and You and Everyone We Know, neither really prepared me for Miranda July’s third film, Kajillionaire. In a year of slim pickings, July’s latest delivers a movie that is deceptively easy to love, despite being centered on at least two characters that you would avoid like the plague in real life. It’s centered on a family of three – Richard Jenkins, Debra Winger, and Evan Rachel Wood – who spend their lives scamming, scrimping, and stealing to pay their incredibly modest bills in Los Angeles. That’s about as much as you should know going into July’s film, but it bears pointing out that the entire cast, which also includes a sensational Gina Rodriguez, give wondrous, inventive, and emotionally intricate performances within July’s vast and humane worldview, aided by Sebastian Winterø’s radiant cinematography and the director’s dedication to physical expression and jangly comedic timing. Between this, Shirley, Never Rarely Sometimes Always, She Dies Tomorrow, First Cow, Selah and the Spades, The Assistant, Yes God Yes, An Easy Girl, House of Hummingbird, Birds of Prey, and Miss Juneteenth, 2020 is turning out to be one of the most staggeringly stacked years for good and great movies directed by women. This is one of maybe two things where I get to see some kind of silver lining to this nightmare year.

Eric: As our quarantine is now taking place forever, I feel like my mind is very much slipping. I needed some comfort and fast. I think I actually watched probably every full episode of Late Night with David Letterman on YouTube. I probably missed a handful, but I kept hitting episodes I've seen multiple times during 2020. So I needed to revise my strategy, I put on 30 Rock the other day which just hit Amazon Prime. I'm only 9 episodes into Season 1 on this rewatch but I am shocked how well formed that show was from the jump, it just hits the ground running. 

I also was an intern in 30 Rock on Late Night with Conan O'Brien in the fall of 2004 so I always related to the show. I actually met Ben Worcester in 30 Rock! See file photo: 

One of our main tasks was to get writers sandwiches and a ton of Kenneth-like shit. I fell into a groove of being Conan's coffee boy on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sometimes we got to go pick up a big funny prop at a costume store or something and THEN it felt like, you were IN IT, you were making comedy happen! Or like one day, hey go to the record store and buy a CD of Greek music we can license for a sketch. It was always interesting picking up a bear suit or random thing and not ever knowing the application until the show hit—I'd usually leave for the day then since I was staying at college in Westchester, and I'd watch the show like everyone else at 12:35 am.

So anyway, 30 Rock so far for me, has been a good rewatch because I was there basically at the same time so everything looks identical. Also always fun to see what aughts fashion brings out on Liz Lemon and the rest of the staff. Other than this I've been going FULL HOG on Ghost of Tsushima for PS4 and loving it. We worked ahead here at the old WHM offices to give ourselves a few weeks off in August, that ENTIRELY went into my PS4. It was worth it, getting lost in an open world game, because let's face it -- that's the closest we're ever going to get to outside real world experiences again. 

Steve: August happened? Whatever you say! I've been doing a lot of re-watching as per always in this wretched year:

Crumb: Full on my favorite documentary of all time. I've never seen a more intimate, haunting, and dense look at a controversial artist packed into such a small run-time. Crumb's art has and remains capital P problematic, but the movie never truly lets him off the hook for that, even though it kind of tries to. The access Crumb allowed into his life and family makes this movie so goddamn fascinating and yes, rewatchable! If I had 100 wishes from a Genie, my 86th wish would be getting this parodied on the next Documentary Now! season.

Snatch: After my supremely disappointing Lock, Stock... rewatch I'm happy to report that this one holds up! It's amazing what a bigger, budget, tighter story, and stronger actors can give you. If the Academy Awards valued Dennis Farina's death they should've shown a clip from this film because he's spitting straight fucking fire the whole time. One thing about both of these movies though is that there are precisely like 50 male characters and maybe 3 women? It's kind of staggering, can't a woman be a geezer, Guy?

I did watch a few new to me movies—speaking of great documentaries about comic artists—I encourage all of you to seek out and watch Feels Good Man a fascinating look at how the Alt Right brutally strangled Matt Furie's sweet comic creation Pepe The Frog. You get some excellent documentary side characters, including a cartoonist buddy telling Matt "this could only happen to YOU" —which, I love—you also get a Four Chan nightmare man literally living in his mom's basement, and a Trump crony in the absolute worst suit I've ever seen in my goddamn life. It's a great look at the insidiousness of These. Fucking. People. 

I also watched Al Pacino's Hangman from a few years ago and Christ on the cross, stay away!! It's a dumb as dirt Criminal Minds episode but somehow takes 90 minutes. You should watch the trailer just to hear his Foghorn Leghorn accent. Other than that, a lot of HBO television including the EXCELLENT Perry Mason and the batshit NXIVM doc series The Vow.
 PATREON MAILBAG LIGHTNING ROUND
In honor of the 500th Episode we're changing this up by answering two of your questions! 

Question One comes from Charles in Oregon who asks: "I would be interested to hear a retrospective of your favorite episodes based on the discussions and feedback."

Andrew: It's honestly really hard for me to pick favorite episodes. I've forgotten so much over the years and don't normally revisit old shows. That's why if you've ever met me at a live show and referenced some show joke, unless it's like one of the Big Time running gags on the show (or literally something I just said on stage), odds are I have no idea what you're talking about. So I think I'll just toss out a blanket answer and say that I really love whenever we do horror movies on the show. Not just for the Spooktacular, but any time. I've always loved Horror and I think fright flicks are when us WHM boys can sometimes shine brightest. Especially when the Terror Train pulls into Franchise Town. 

Chris: I have too many favorites but I will try to cut it down. Volcano (Ep. 119) is one of my early favorites to be able to listen to Justin riff with Steve and Andrew without having to listen to myself and judge my performance harshly throughout. As of more recent vintage, I had an absolute blast doing Species with Angelica. I still remember sitting in that small studio with her and the boys, drinking local Chicago beers, and losing it over “certifiable hunk” Michael Madsen. I guess I also just miss being on the road too. I’m also a big fan of the episodes that I wasn’t on where I would have been the voice of dissent – Hollow Man, Anaconda, Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey, etc. – as I just get to scream in my head about how the guys are missing the point. And I will say we also just recorded an episode on 1991’s Toy Soldiers and I felt that nice glow that you get when you both love the episode and feel like I personally did well on the episode. Those are few and far between and may not be felt by the audience necessarily, but they are the episodes that really make me happy to be doing this work.

Eric: Hard to say what my favorite episodes are as I don't go back that much to listen to our own show unless it's work related. But as it happens, I was uploading some old episodes to YouTube the other day and caught a bunch of AVP: Requiem and I think we all had a blast on it. So if anyone slept on that episode, I'd recommend you give it a spin. I think in general some favorite episodes are when we do things people didn't expect us to do like going through the Shrek movies, Boss Baby, and the old beloved "sacred cows." Sometimes I find standard action fair a bit too cut and dry. A beastie like Shrek gives us a ton of fart content to mine. 

Steve: It's truly insane that there are 500 + of these to choose from, so that this question is nigh impossible to answer. I will say that a pair that I loved were Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice and Collateral Beauty. Spending the whole day meeting up at an honest to goodness movie theater with my good friends and then piling into the studio to tear it apart right after gave those episodes a special energy that's hard to replicate. I also love the whole Transformers series—I'm a fan of forcing us into uncomfortable and repetitive series and letting that extra element of madness add another level of rage to the proceedings. 

Question Two comes from Liz in Toronto "What’s your favourite part about doing the podcast together?"

Andrew: This question is much easier to answer. My favorite part about doing the show together is just that: doing the show together. One thing that has become abundantly clear to me over the years is that WHM is only WHM because of the guys in WHM. The show is fun to do because of the guys in the room with me, and the show is fun to listen to because of the guys in the room with me.

I think nearly tied for second is getting out on the road and doing the show live. It's a nerve-wracking, hectic, bonkers, fun-as-hell, every time, and receiving that instant reaction from an audience gives me a high on par with the finest herb I've smoked. And what's great about touring is it's the only time when we get to be in the same room with the people who make the show possible. I know we may sound like broken records, but without the audience, there is no WHM. Without the folks plunking down hard-earned dough at live shows and on our Patreon, we just would not be here. So getting to entertain those folks for 75-ish minutes and then saying "Hi" afterwards is a real perk.

Chris: That last part touches on my favorite part of doing the show, which is both hearing the guys push themselves as performers/comedians but also being able to notice when I’m doing well and building on my own meager talents. I have worked a lot of jobs in my life, many that I was good at but none of which really asked me to push myself in any way, so being able to actually challenge myself with three of my best friends feels somewhat miraculous. It cannot be stressed enough: podcasting isn’t important work, but it sure beats working customer service.

Eric: I mentioned having a blast earlier. That's also what I like about doing the show, having a blast together. Nothing beats that in person energy of drinking and laughing and laughing and drinking. I also love how we've honed our talents enough over the years to perform live on stage. I desperately want live shows to resume one day. I think our live episodes are very underrated. 

Steve: It'd be really shitty of me not to mention how fun it is to hang out with some of my best friends, wouldn't it? Well, I wish I could be shitty, but I can't, because the true pleasure as I near my LATE 30's (good god) is an excuse to keep up with friends I've known for almost twenty years and  sit down for 90 minutes to two hours every week and just shoot the shit. Other than that? I have to say meeting, interacting, and hearing from folks that like the show has been one of the most profound and welcome surprises of my life. I spent a lot of time in my early 20's trying to get anybody to care about my brand of comedy and nothing ever stuck, so to hear people really enjoy the work we do always blows me away. Not only that, but every so often we get really kind emails from folks going through a hard time who the show has somehow helped out, which...is kind of staggering. Not anything I ever expected, but  I think I can speak for all four of us when I say we all really respect and love the hell out of people who dig our show. Keep the fan art coming, but don't make me too fat! 

SEPTEMBER SCHEDULE

Say what? The Schedule in advance?! It's the least we could do! By subscribing to this newsletter you get a sneak peak at what we're putting out in September! 

UNLOCK THE VAULT — Ready Player One

Episode 503 — Toy Soldiers

Episode 504 — Double Jeopardy

Episode 505 — Ricochet 

Episode 506 — Cool World 

Patreon Episodes:

Patreon Exclusive We Love Movies — Inside Man (2006)

Animation Damnation — Garfield and Friends: "Binky Gets Cancelled/Show Stoppers/Cutie and the Beast" (s2, e20)

The Nexus: TOS: "Wolf in the Fold" (s2, e14) TNG: "Up the Long Ladder" (s2, e18)

Gleep Glossary: Lowbacca

Patreon Re-Released Commentary: C.H.U.D.

Special Presentation: The KornKast
 

Find all this crap and enjoy it legally, just like we do!

PATREON RSS BUG

If you’re having trouble with the RSS feed updating or episodes not appearing in your app, Patreon has acknowledged this bug and they have a fix: "Try un-subscribing and re-subscribing via your app by re-entering the unique RSS feed you were given and is on our Overview section of the Creator page. Or try using a different podcast app or RSS feed reader." 

Please consult this page and contact Patreon Support if the problem persists. We apologize for any inconvenience you’ve experienced on Patreon and truly appreciate your continued support!
UPCOMING NEWS AND PROMOTION

Just a reminder that we are donating 100% of all profits we receive from our Tee Public store in the year of 2020 to great causes supporting the Black Lives Matter movement, combating Police Brutality, and supporting racial justice. You can donate directly here or you can donate by buying some SICK WHM merch like our newly designed Order of The Boop Shirt!

If you're not subscribed to our Youtube Channel you are missing out on a ton of great content! Late in June we did a "watch along" with Can't Hardly Wait which was a ton of fun. We also put out a synched clip from our Justice League Commentary about The Skeleton League and a fun clip from The Catsmentary! Also Eric put out great clip packages like Peyton Manning V. Alien V. Predator, Breaking Down the 10 Commandments, President Nerd, Michael Biehn at Comic Con, Loose Loomis, and many more! Like we said above these are great for sharing and introducing folks to the show. You can also find full episodes like Duck Tales first Animation Damnation, Death Wish V: The Angel of Death, Angel Has Fallen, Samurai Cop, Back to the Future, The Human Centipede (First Sequence), Die Hard With a Vengeance (with Jon Gabrus), and Return of the Jedi! There's so much content there we can't list it all here. Just go and subscribe already! 

This month on Hooked on T.J. Hooker: Eric and Ben are back and making fun of the blue! This month they hit the slopes (the fun kind!) with Snow Game! Listen here!

That's gonna do it for this month's dispatch, thanks as always for your incredible support! Here's to another 500!

Andrew, Chris, Eric, and Steve
We Hate Movies