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Wish I could be better (Patreon)

Published:
2022-07-17 00:09:32
Edited:
2022-07-17 00:35:42
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Content

After all this time, I could get used to the fact that it's a never ending cycle where apathy somehow gets to you.

I am a very empathic person, and everything that happens around me I pass through myself, trying to feel the feelings. This is how I live, this is how I draw.

For the most part, I'm just a person who draws funny pictures. Some of them resonate with others, some do not. But it is always the result of my emotions and state of mind. I try to make it visible in my works, and I try to make these emotions colorful and positive.
I really want to start making good art for you again, Iriska is really looking forward to the continuation of the story and really wants you to get to know her better!

I catalyze emotions into the form of art, but right now there is nothing positive around me.
Honestly, I don’t know where to get this resource inside myself now.

I tried to take a break for a couple of weeks, and I would really like to say that it helped, that I regained my strength and am ready to do a bunch of new art! But that would be a lie.

But I read every of your messages! Thank you very much for such great support! Sometimes it seems to me that I do not deserve this, because globally my problems and experiences are so insignificant and small. But I am very grateful that you still found words of support for me. This is what keeps me going.

Today I tried to forcefully draw some study sketches. Even such simple things are given now very hard. It's like I'm losing all my ability and skill. I'm scared of this thought. I need to do something

Rest doesn't do me any good. And I feel that I can't keep you waiting any longer.

Therefore, through the force I will draw what I can

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Comments

Anonymous

Just keep on being you and you’ll get through it!

jizzy

We have faith in you, Boni. Things may seem bleak as of now, but we’ll get through this. I myself have been dealing with the pains of a suicidal girlfriend… it’s never going to be easy, but every time I talk her down, I’m more hopeful for her future, even if she isn’t. From my unclouded perspective, I see her state as just a temporary and disgusting blip in her otherwise vibrant life. I know we can all be happy someday, but it’s going to take time. Just hold on. I know you love to draw, Boni, but try finding pleasure in something again, anything. I can’t say for certain, but I don’t imagine forcing yourself to perform during burnout is necessarily the best method to shake it. Might I suggest spoiling yourself with nostalgia? And by all means, reach out to someone close to you for help. You deserve to be happy! PS: Boni looks lovely as usual ( ＾◡＾)っ♡

Anonymous

Any other small hobbies you like to dabble in? Sometimes indulging those other creative avenues synergize and restore the other

Sans Souci

I can tell you're an empathic person through the expressivity of your characters. You're an amazingly skilled individual but what personally made me choose you as one of my fav artists over others it's the expressivity of your art . Its a bad time, and feeling down is understandable, please take care.

CatCouch

Sometimes getting started again is the hardest hurdle. Draw little bits at a time to see if something starts to click and get you in the zone. If it really isn't clicking, take a break and let your mind rest so you can try again later~ At some point the creative drive to draw will come back, it always does!

The Captain

*hugs tightly*

John Lancaster

You're an amazing artist! I used to do art and stopped due to a block. I suffered because of that decision. I lost my skill because I stopped and I don't want the same thing to happen to you. Just keep drawing. No matter what it is, keep at it. Inspiration and motivation hit people in different ways. It will come back to you. You just have to get through this. I and many others believe in you. Don't give up. Keep at it.

bonifasko
>>87770957

Thank you a lot! ♡ Sometimes I often come to nostalgia, these are sad, but at the same time pleasant feelings.

bonifasko
>>87773268

I used to have many hobbies. Maybe I should get the guitar and blow the dust off it.

anonnymousspacething

“I am a very empathic person, and everything that happens around me I pass through myself, trying to feel the feelings. This is how I live,” Holy. Shit. While reading your description this *really* resonated with me. I’ve been trying to figure out how to explain myself to people close to me and this is literally how part of me is that I’ve never quite been able to put into words. Sending you good vibes and cat videos I’ll hopefully remember to add my response to your upload later, as I’m on mobile and it’s taking forever to load >:[ Edit: it’s still loading, will check back later.

Mílenko

I feel this Hella, I know when I hit a block but feel the need to keep drawing, I just go back to drawing shapes and eventually something comes out, maybe it would work for you?

Anonymous

I know this may be a long shot, but have you tried mushrooms?

Teh Pron

You don't need to force yourself. The real fans will understand.

anonnymousspacething
>>87814012

I wish I could find words to respond with for your sketch here but it's more emotion than what can be put into words. Do take care of yourself BONI

Anonymous

Life has a painful way of being that rising and receding tide. There will be times of feast and other times of famine but try not to judge your whole by the times of drought. Just try never to be too harsh to yourself, there are enough things that happen in life to do it, don't give those emotions extra weapons to hit yourself with.