A Feast for Coyotes (Patreon)

Here's the script for a short we've decided we probably won't move forward with in the immediate future! It's an adaptation of a one-act play Michael wrote, which you can check out here if you're interested in how things tend to change when massaged for film. For more info on the ideas we ARE likely to move forward with in the near future, check out our current Goals! Or just read this thing. We'd love to know how it hit you.

EXT. DESERT - TWILIGHT

A gunshot.

A well-dressed body lies in a shallow grave, breathing just barely. Someone unseen shovels DIRT onto them.

The one with the SHOVEL is flanked by two associates, one with a GUN and the third, LIGHT. Although the scene reads like a gangster film, no one in the cast is a male 30-something Italian-American New Yorker.

SHOVEL (startled): Jesus!

As the body BLEEDS, the three stand over it looking down.

LIGHT: Well, if it was me I’d wait until he’d finished digging the grave, but, ok...I mean, okay, yeah...

GUN: He wouldn’t dig...I warned him.

SHOVEL: Jesus. Again.

GUN: Yeah... he just wouldn’t dig. (to SHOVEL) Finish up quick.

Shovel notices their suit jacket is dirt-stained, tosses it.

SHOVEL: Shit, this suit is ruined. (beat) Wait, why am I digging? We taking turns?

GUN: I’m not digging. I shot ’im. That’s the hard part.

SHOVEL: Why not you then?

Shovel points to Light, who leans near the body.

LIGHT: See, what we shoulda done is have the guy bury himself almost all the way, like at the beach or somethin’, so he’s just a head sticking up. Then you--and then it’s just a couple shovelfuls and bang, he’s dead. Or bang, you shoot him, a couple shovelfuls, he’s dead. (beat) Guys, he ain’t dead.

GUN: What?

LIGHT: He ain’t dead. Just close.

GUN: Sure he is.

SHOVEL (disturbed): Yeah, sure he is.

Shovel PEERS at the body.

LIGHT: Nah, he’s still breathing. Look, you can see the dirt move up and down. Just close.

They all PEER at the body. It’s DARK and hard to make out.

GUN: No, he ain’t. It’s a trick o’ the eye. It just looks like he’s alive.

LIGHT: He’s makin’ little noises.

All three inch forward, listening intently.

SHOVEL (he’s got it...): That’s just air comin’ out when I put dirt on his chest.

GUN: Just do the thing. I thought you wanted to get outta here.

Light walks over to a nearby CAR and turns its HEADLIGHTS on, illuminating the grave site. All three examine the mound closer. The body seems unconscious, but the mound of dirt rises and falls slowly.

GUN: Oh, so he is.

SHOVEL: Well then kill him!

GUN: You kill him.

SHOVEL: Alright, toss me the revolver.

Gun shrugs. No.

LIGHT: You could always...

Light MIMES hitting the guy with the shovel. Shovel WINCES. Gun laughs.

GUN: Yeah, you know what? Make it hurt. Serves him right.

SHOVEL: No, no, I can’t--was this the plan all along?

GUN: You got a shovel. Bash him or bury him. Lots of options.

After a tense moment, Shovel buries the body as fast as they can.

SHOVEL (shaken): Alright, let’s go.

GUN: It’s too shallow. Keep adding to it.

LIGHT: ...you seen the car keys?

GUN: You want some coyote dragging half this guy back to town?

LIGHT: I just...can’t find the keys

GUN (whirls on Light): What’s the hurry?

LIGHT: It’s cold.

GUN: Got somewhere to be?

LIGHT: ...No. I mean, what do you mean? No.

GUN: Alright, let’s get this straight. He deserves what he got. And you’re gonna say the same to anyone who asks. Got that?

LIGHT: Hey, I ain’t trying to cause trouble.

Gun looks to Shovel.

GUN: And you?

SHOVEL: What you said.

GUN: Good. Just make sure you say it like I said it. Guy had it comin’.

LIGHT: Sure, sure. I mean, he was a made man and all, but--no, no, I’m sure it’ll work out. I worry too much.

GUN: Get my smokes.

Light heads to the car.

GUN: ...And the light!

They push in the cigarette lighter and wait for it to warm. They search for the car keys. Check the visor, between the seats, etc. Meanwhile, Shovel returns to work and Gun THINKS hard. Light returns.

LIGHT: Still no keys.

GUN: You HAVE the keys. You drove us.

LIGHT (to Shovel): I think I gave ’em to you so you could get the shovel outta the trunk.

Shovel pats their pockets. Empty. As one, all three come to a REALIZATION.

LIGHT: Jesus.

GUN: Don’t tell me.

SHOVEL: I don’t KNOW they fell out, they just ain’t...in my pocket, presently. IF they fell out, there’s...I mean, yeah, IF, then there’s a good chance they’re...

Everyone eyes the fresh grave.

SHOVEL: Well, someone else has to dig, my arms are feelin’ real-

GUN: This is your fuck-up. Get the keys!

Shovel TOSSES the shovel down.

SHOVEL: I fucked up?! Yeah, I’m the one who has us out here at who-the-fuck-knows in the middle of who-the-fuck-when just because some asshole got drunk and started sayin’ stupid shit-

GUN: I tell you, I think a stupid asshole is saying some shit right now, and furthermore, I think saying stupid shit is a pretty damn good reason to kill someone.

SHOVEL: Watch it. I got friends in the family, same as you.

Gun glares at Shovel murderously, moves to adjust their belt. This sudden movement makes Shovel flinch. They clutch the shovel. Gun laughs.

A brief quiet. THEN, Light hears the cigarette lighter from the car POP UP. They go to fetch it and the cigarettes. While they do, muffled sounds of Gun and Shovel arguing through the windshield.

Shovel and Gun start to wrestle. Suddenly, Gun pistol whips Shovel.

Light sees this and immediately rushes back to them. They BURN Gun on the neck with the cigarette lighter to break it up. Gun WHIRLS on them. Light squares off, expecting a fistfight. Gun looks at them like a king amazed at the gall of a rebellious peasant.

Gun SHOOTS Light once in the gut and Light immediately collapses.

SHOVEL: Ah! Jesus!

GUN: Get the keys.

SHOVEL (going to Light): --still breathing, man, we can still--let’s just take ’em to-

Gun TOSSES the shovel to Shovel.

GUN: For which we need... keys.

Gun slowly picks the cigarette lighter off the ground, then starts to SEARCH Light for cigarettes. Light is clearly STILL ALIVE. They MOAN incoherently as Gun turns them over and over. Shovel is IN SHOCK.

GUN: How fucked up would it be if I found the keys on ’em right now?

SHOVEL: Not funny.

Gun positions themselves between Light and Shovel and blows smoke at Shovel. Gun smiles. Shovel is FROZEN completely. They look at the unearthed body at their feet and the shovel in their hands. Would they be fast enough to kill GUN before they got a shot off?

No. They need the keys. Shovel starts to quickly unearth the grave again.

Gun’s cigarette glows red, then dies, reflected fitfully in their eyes.

Shovel UNCOVERS the original body, looks at it anew. It looks different now. There’s no question it’s dead dead dead.

Gun eyes Light.

SHOVEL (while digging): So, if our friend here dies, what are you going to say?

GUN: They burned me!

The cigarette GOES OUT. The light in Gun’s eyes DIES.

GUN (pointing to original grave): Or, I don’t know. Maybe they shot the guy. Maybe they shot each other.

SHOVEL: But then I’d have to say that, too.

Gun shrugs. Flicks the butt away. Turns.

They grab Light’s legs and drag them, moaning, toward the grave site, intending to lay them out next to the first body. As soon as they’re close enough, Shovel takes a DESPERATE SWING. The shovel connects to the back of Gun’s head and they grunt, falling to the dirt. Gun laughs despite themselves, surprised Shovel had the guts.

Gun stands and squares up for a fistfight. Shovel glances over their shoulder at the endless expanse of BLACK DESERT.

GUN (a whisper): You can still run.

Shovel instead TOSSES the shovel at Gun, who knocks it aside, giving Shovel time to grab the pistol from Gun’s waistband. Gun easily KNOCKS his arm away and the gun goes SKITTERING off into the darkness.

A dirty, desperate, scrabbling fight in the dirt. Biting, grunting, scratching. Finally, Shovel encounters their discarded SUIT JACKET, and throw it over Gun’s head to buy time.

They roll away, recovering the shovel and holding its handle in both hands, horizontally. They charge Gun, knocking them to the ground with the handle on their windpipe.

Gun tries to lift the handle, but Shovel puts their whole weight into it. Gun’s windpipe slowly CRUNCHES and collapses.

SHOVEL: Oh shit, oh Lord, ahhhhhh!

Gun GOES STILL.

Shovel just BREATHES for a long time. They check on Light. Light is dead. They checks on Gun. Gun is dead. They find the gun and pocket it.

Then, after a long while, they go to Gun’s body and start to look for the smokes. They find the pack, and, in pulling it out of Gun’s coat pocket, hear a JINGLE.

SHOVEL: ...fuckin’ kiddin’ me...

Shovel reaches deeper into the pocket and pulls out the car keys. They sparkle in the headlights.

Suddenly, the car’s battery dies and the lights go out. Shovel is alone in darkness, holding the keys.

SHOVEL: HA!

END